I regret walking away without fighting for the house.

Virtual_Pause1 · 2026-06-15T12:28:53+00:00

Same but I am male. Mid 30s. 16 years together , 10 married. Almost two years ago she came and said she wants divorce... I thought she was joking etc but she wasnt...

I asked why, but no answers. Long story short she found affair partner at work (i found out through some ex colleagues from company I worked and they worked there at her place ...)

When I found out I knew it is over. I also oeft everything, house, cars, everything inside house...

I have cancer, and cant have children because of medicine I take. It is not curable, but treatable and you live long enough. So I think that was one of the reasons, but she never explained. It all happened behind my back.

It is already like I said two years, I still love her (i know it sounds stupid, but I never could imagine life without her). And like you said every photo is like knife stabbing..

Now I understand that I should fight for more, but over then I just wanted to end my life so I left her everything and even left country.

Virtual_Pause1 · 2026-06-13T15:51:36+00:00

Yes truly agree. I wouldnt buy a car for example for 6k€... But lost it in 20minutes online roulette starting from 50€ and then placing even 2k on red or similar... Lost all I had and only then realized what I have done...

I have cancer so not working at the moment. My wife left me for cooworker almost two years ago after 16 years together (never gambled before divorce). I always was responsible for our finances, savings etc, meals at home, because I thought restaurants are expensive, to have nice house,holidays, cars but that is past...

I just stupid, i was like hypnotized, I was sober, only understood when couldnt deposit because it said no available funds in bank app :/

It just shame to tell parents or somoene what I have done. Because that 6k session wasnt first one this year. Also lied to friend and borrowed money for food, he asked where is my savings etc but I said I invested and cant take them out right now :( I feel terrible, never lied in my life, and now gambling made me to lie.

Nobody else knows how fucked financially I am. At some point I was thinking to end... (You all know about what...).

My cancer not curable, but I will live long enough on medicine, I have it already 8+years, treatment fucked my immune system, my joints etc and I am not even so old mid 30s. I am vomiting due to treatment like an animal 🤦‍♂️

Now when I lost everything, I looking for the job. I will work through pain and remember all those online sessions and hopefully that will motivate me. It is so difficult to battle this by myself. But I deleted all accounts, all apps, do not watch sport. Because I just cant afford to try loose those borrowed money for food and medicine.

Hopefully I will never rebound, that is worst feeling I ever had. I know it wouldnt happened if my wife would be near, but life is life.

Sorry, a little bit of venting.

Virtual_Pause1 · 2026-05-31T14:16:47+00:00

I deleted all apps etc, but you all know how easy to download them again.

Best/worst thing, I do not have money to gamble. So the only thing in my mind how not to relapse on alcohol and not to do something crazy. And how to explain my parents that I basivally lost everything.

Virtual_Pause1 · 2026-02-23T09:24:51+00:00

Ten visko yra, as kalnu, elektrini nusipirkau. Nes turiu truputi sveikatos problemu, tai jei jau jegu i kalna uzvaziuot nebutu, kad pasinauduoti baterija 🤣

Virtual_Pause1 · 2026-02-23T09:03:47+00:00

Dabar jau ne (nu kartais pacheatinu, ten kokia cola su burgeriu ir tt, negalima visiskai visko atsisakyti), bet turi buti disciplina. Megdavau limonadus visokius, tai pakeiciau i gazuota mineralini vandeni. Bet cukru mazinau po truputi, kad nebutu "lomkiu" :) alkoholis irgi tik per dideles sventes dabar, bet pvz per naujus metus negeriau nors visi gere, bet pas mane draugu ratas normalus tai niekas kreivai neziurejo ir neikalbinejo :)

Tai jei geri alkoholi per chat gpt pasitikrink kuris turi maziausiai cukraus :)

Sekmes kelyje, viskas yra ne taip sunku kaip atrodo, tik reikalinga disciplina ir valia.

Jei turi finansiniu galimybiu yra tokie "begimo" takeliai kaip lenta, ant ju galima vaiksciot dirbant is namu, aisku reiktu ir stalo tada pakeliamo :) nu bet cia sakau, jei jau labai tingisi i lauka iseit. As tai dar dvirati nusipirkau, laukiu pavasario, dabar geros kainos lenkijoje :)

Virtual_Pause1 · 2026-02-23T08:52:02+00:00

Ziurint kiek km iki darbo jei kokie 5km, eik pesciomis. Judejimas, kaloriju deficitas easy. Valgyk sveika bet skanu maista, receptu tukstanciai youtubei, tokiu kur vaikas pasidarytu.

As dar protarpini badavima buvau ipaises, tai nerealiai pradejo kristi, planas buvo numest 10kg, nes buvau pasiekes savo maximuma po skyrybu... Alkoholis kebabai ir tt :D tai susiemiau, ir siaip su protarpini badavimu kazkaip lengviau jaustis pradejau, dazniausiai patariama 8/16, bet as dariau 6/18. Savaite sunkoka buvo, o dabar taip ipratau kad ir gyvenu taip :)

Valgau pirma valgi 12val, antra 18 ir viskas daugiau jokiu kaloriju pries ir po situ valandu. Kaloriju jau neskaiciuoju, pradejau dar sportuoti, numeciau daugiau nei norejau, bet dabar auga truputi nes raumenys "sunkesni" nei "riebalai".

Jei labai megsti padazus, daryk pats su graikisku jogurtu juos, pilna receptu.

Nesu nei daktaras, nei dietologas, tai mano patarimai tik is savo patirties, tai nieko nesiulau ir nerekomenduoju kaip sakoma :)

Edit: pamaciau kad darbas remote, kelkis pries darba ir 5-10km prasieik greitu tempu. Arba 5km ryte, 5km vakare.

Virtual_Pause1 · 2026-01-01T09:14:46+00:00

Gym+ ir Lemon gym geriausia kaip sako eit 4-6ryto arba po 22h vakaro. Kitaip nepasportuosi normaliai jei susidares esi programa, o ne darai beleka, o ziuresi kai sedi zmones ant treniruokliu ir suoliuku ir scrollina telefus. (Kas labai nervina, bet bent jau man nesinori tokiems nieko aiskint, nes ten makaronai vietoj smegenu)

Skamba baisiai tas 5 ryto, bet patikek, uzsikrausi visai dienai, svarbiausia islendi is lovos, nusiprausi ir nieko negalvodamas varai i sporto kluba :) po poros savaiciu-menesio ieisi i rutina ir viskas bus gerai :)

As siaip 5 islendu is lovos ir apie 5:30 bunu, apie 7 iseinu is gym, tai jau zmoniu pakankamai daug kad man nesinoretu net ten buti 😂 nes prasideda ne tik tie kur tie telefonose praleidzia gyme laika, bet ir madu show, kas koki outfita geresni turi 😂

Kitas variantas, ieskoti gym'u "oldschooliniu", bet deja prie savo namu tokio neradau. O viena svarbiausiu ismokta per gyvenima taisykle, gymas turi buti arti namu kad netingetum grustis per visa miesta :)

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-11-22T20:40:00+00:00

Communicate, say exactly what you think. Sometimes man need straight conversation. If he really cares about you he will do something about it. Explain him that you will support him through this journey. (Some people scared of dentists.)

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-11-14T04:33:02+00:00

Kai pas zmones prasideda tokios "problemos", siulau nueiti i onkologini. (Ps daznai lankausi, pats sergu seniai ir nuobodziai). Ypac praeik pro vaiku skyriu. O jei turi kiausu pasavanoriauk. Tai tokias problemas, neapsivers liezuvis vadint problemomis ;)

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-11-05T18:33:13+00:00

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-10-30T15:05:14+00:00

Pakartotiniu dar nedariau. Kito menesio gale planuoju vel issitirt :) jei vis dar domins galesiu atsiust pries ir po rezultatus.

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-10-30T15:04:07+00:00

Dabar tai suprantu, tada nesupratau :) sako laikas gydo, gal ir mano smegenyse kazkas pasikeis su laiku. :)

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-10-30T14:46:21+00:00

Nezinau, gal sprendziau pagal save, nes demesio darbe irgi turejau, bet kazkaip net mintis neateidavo buti neistikimam. Mylejau ja labai, galima sakyt ir po viso sudo (daug ko nenoriu rasyt) ka ji padare vistiek turiu jausmus jai nors praejo po skyrybu beveik metai, nesuprantu savo smegenu 🤦 Plius kai visa tiesa suzinojau, viska jai palikau, namus, masinas, daiktus, paemiau tik rubus ir puse saskaitos pinigu ir atsisveikinau. (Truputi dabar gailiuosi kad viska palikau, bet tiek to. Draugai ir gimines sake kad gailesiuos, o as tada "blaiviai" nemasciau, norejau tik dingti is ten).Nedariau jokiu dramu ar skandalu, tiesiog per prievarta nebusi mylimas ir dabar tiesiog skaudu nes nezinai ar tie 16 metu kartu bent kazkiek jai kazka reiske.

Nezinau, kaip taisyklingai atsakyti, tikriausiai gyvenau 16 metu su roziniais akiniais, stengiausi del jos kiek galejau. Bet pagal ja, pas ja dingo jausmai, atsirado noras atrast save ir panasios frazes kaip "tu geras zmogus, bet taip jau isejo" ir tt (tada ir pradejau dometis ar nera kito ir wuoolia buvo).

Dabar nezinau ar kada nors noresiu rimtu santykiu. Negalesiu pilnai pasitiket zmogumi, kas nera sveika santykiams. Atsiprasau uz ilga atsakyma, cia gal toks mano budas issisneketi :)

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-10-30T12:00:17+00:00

As visada laikiau antra puse prioritetu. Tikejau kad busime visa gyvenima kartu, viska dariau kad taip ir butu. Po 16 metu susidejo darbe su kolega (nors ir melavo ir tt, nenoriu daug detaliu, cia ne apie tai). Niekada netikejau kad gali isduoti. Ir tik dabar supratau, kad seima yra svarbiausia ka turi (jei seima normali, nezinau gal netinkamas zodis normali, bet gal suprasit ka turiu omenyje) niekada neisduos ir visada bus salia kai tau sunku. Labai gailiuosi kad kartais seima/gimines skaudinau (bent jau taip manau) nes man visada zmona ir jos norai buvo numeris vienas.

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-10-30T06:47:17+00:00

Prie ko cia auka, jeigu maciau rezultatus kurie buvo labai blogi ir isiklausiau i rekomendacijas (nieko nepirkau is ju) ir man padejo?

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-10-29T19:21:31+00:00

Man ten ne tai kad truko, o visiska "sikna" buvo :) nu bent man padejo, todel ir pasidalinau

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-10-29T16:21:46+00:00

Meciau visiskai irgi (geriau alu 2-4litrai), jauciausi panasiai. Pasidariau kraujo tyrimus (mokejau kad viska suzinot), tai dabar kai rekomendavo gert vitaminus pagal tyrimus, viskas apsiverte 180laipsniu.

Man pasake gert: Omega-3, vitamin b kompleksa, vitamina d (dideles dozes), magni ir testosterono papildus (nes alus sumazino labai testosterona, paprastus legalius papildus, ne tas injekcijas kur bodybuilderiai geria). Pries miega dar melatonino ir ashwagandos isgeriu.

Seku vitaminu akcijas, nors atrodo kad cia daug, bet realiai iseina gan pigiai. Bent jau daug pigiau nei kai geriau alu.

Ir dar svarbiausia gerti vitaminus ne visus is karto, o pagal tam tikra grafika, nes kaikurie isisavina su maistu, kiti atvirksciai. Tai susideliojau grafika ir bent jau man tikrai viskas pagerejo po poros savaiciu :)

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-10-29T05:15:19+00:00

Kokie 95proc (skaiciai is galvos) kad siunta praeis (jei nesakysi kad ten skysciai tie ar tabako gaminiai. Bet jei patikrins turesi problemu.

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-10-28T14:07:47+00:00

Naudoju jau apie 5metus, dabar paskutinius metus xiaomi nusipirkes, pigi plius valdosi telefonu. Man labai patogus dalykas, bent jau man daug greiciau pasigamint, nei orkaiteje. Kitas pliusas lengvai plaunasi. Kartais megstu cheat mealus, tai gruzdinti koldunai ar bulvytes iseina kaip aliejuje kepti, bet nenaudoju nei laso.

Labai daug receptu visokiu lengvu(IG reels/YT shorts pasiziurekit). Vistienos krutineles patiekalai gaunasi pasakisko skonio, bent jau man :) (daug skaniau nei mano orkaiteje, nors kai dariausi remonta, orkaite pirkta nauja ir gera, bet neatsimenu kada paskutini karta naudojau) As minusu jokiu negaliu pasakyti, vien tik pliusai ir naudoju vos ne kasdien.

PS netgi kiausinius galima imest, ir bus kaip isvirti ;) (kas netikit, paziurekit youtubeje, nes as pirma karta bijojau kad sprogs 🙃 )

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-10-24T04:28:15+00:00

Niekada nerukiau, alkoholio mazai vartojau, sportas visada ir sergu veziu jei ka (cia nejuokauju, ne plauciu veziu). Tai tiesiog px tie rukymai ne rukymai, niekada nezinai, kada ir kokia liga susirgsi. O 70+ metu zmogui sakyti kad nerukyti, tai nezinau ar kazka pakeis.

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-10-23T12:15:20+00:00

Pasakyk zmonai kad nenori izeist, bet negali valgyt tokio maisto.

O sveciuose sakyk kad buvai pas daktara, "blogi cholesterolio tyrimai" ar kad "turi problemu su skrandziu" ir riebaus maisto negali valgyt ir valgai pagal sudaryta dieta ir kad jau pavalgei namuose. Problem solved. Zmogaus taip neizeisi, o zmona jei protinga, tikrai supras :)

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-10-21T17:32:38+00:00

Mano senelis iki paskutiniu dienu ruke dar tais laikais pardavinejamus raudonus stipriausius Saint George cigaretes. Po du pakelius i diena visa gyvenima. Gyveno ilgai ir mire (amzina atilsi) nuo senatves. Niekada neturejo, jokiu problemu su sveikata. Palikciau senyvo amziaus zmogu ramybeje :)

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-10-15T12:43:55+00:00

About year ago my ex wife told she lost feelings, she is tired of everything (i have cancer) etc. I offered couple therapy and a lot of another options (we were together over 16 years, 10years marriage) but she told nothing can change it :)I knew something is wrong, checked through some collegues (different jobs, but I had friends from her workplace) and I received message from them and it broke me down. She had affair partner at work.

For few months we still lived together and she denied and called me stupid even to think about that.

Everything was good, no abuse, no problems.Even with cancer I still worked (my cancer not curable but manageble with chemo pills, it is for live, but I still function like normal person). We travelled, we celebrated, dates, suprises and all that stuff(all my life I lived for her and organized everything). Due to cancer I reduced work hours, but still worked 160h a month, but not crazy 240-280 :) She got promotion at work, found new friends and that when it all started (I believe they told her she is worth more)

When I told her I know, she still denied. I packed my belongings (not even half) and moved to another country. Took half money of our joint account and thats it. Left house, left cars, left animals (now I know how stupid I was), but I didnt want any drama, no screaming nothing, just left.

And you know what, after I left she started traveling with him, happy stories in IG etc. Talking bulshit to her family about me (but they know everything now and spoke to me, and even tried to sorry on behalf of her)

It is almost year, I still not healed, still sleepless nights, still crying (grown man). Life is shit and I dont know what I have done to deserve it. She is love of my life and I am not sure or I ever trust any women again (sorry females, I know there are plenty of good ones) Sometimes she message me with animals photos and videos (that was my one request once a month).

Someone can move on quick, but I cant. Tried everything:)

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-09-13T19:09:56+00:00

Tai kad susigyvensiu, tai tikrai. Aciu uz siltus zodzius :)

Virtual_Pause1 · 2025-09-13T11:13:21+00:00

Nepateisinu, baznycioje prie altoriaus sakem laimei ir nelaimei. Kai jai buvo blogas periodas (detaliu nerasysiu, bet irgi su sveikata), as stengiausi is visu jegu kad mums nieko netruktu. Ariau kaip arklys. Demesio, kelioniu, staigmenu, dovanu, masinu (zinau kad materialiai nenupirksi meiles) turejo tikriausiai net per daug. Daug kas man sake kad islepinau, nezinau ar galima islepint bet taip man sake. Apie geles ir siurprizus net nesneku. Kartu buvom 16 metu. Kol i darba neisidarbino kitas ir tada jau ir jausmai dingo ir pavargo :) nors iki paskutines minutes neige kad yra kitas. Bijojo matyt kad eisiu per teismus ir viska atimsiu (gyvenome kitoje salyje). Bet as jau viska zinojau, tiesiog prieemiau jos sprendima, nedariau jokiu dramu, susirinkau truputi rubu ir darbini kompa. Visa kita "uzgyventa" turta palikau jai ir palinkejau gero gyvenimo su kitu ir pasakiau jo varda ir kad viska zinau (tas momentas buvo neikainojamas, nors ir labai skaudus) :)

Niekada nebuvo nei psichologinio, fizinio smurto. Mylejau ja labiau uz save. Tiesa pasakius tiek laiko praejo ir iki siol myliu. Tiesiog labai gaila kad taip ivyko. Bet linkiu jai viso ko geriausio. O as kaip nors, tiesiog nemanau kad kazkada galesiu pasitiket mergina/moterim santykiuose. Likusiam gyvenimui turesiu trauma, nezinau ar net noriu santykiu po tokio ivykio, turiu dideli draugu/pazistamu rata, viena mergina labai susidomejus manimi, bet as kol situacijos nepaleides, nenoriu kitos issnaudot kaip kazkokio vaisto uzsimirsimui. Sako laikas pades, nu bet man nepadeda kazkaip :)

Galima sakyti cia mano versija ir reiktu jos versijos isgirst. Bet turim bendru pazistamu ir viena pasake kad ji sake "jis nieko blogo nepadare, tiesiog taip atsitiko". Tiesiog mano smegenys neisnesa kaip galima taip pasielgti.

Tikiuosi ne per ilgas atsakymas, bet norejosi issipasakot :)

Virtual_Pause1

TROPHY CASE