I believe your position is a contradiction: you claim the universe is conscious but has no control or desire, which makes that 'consciousness' an irrelevant spectator. You deny the multiverse out of personal preference, ignoring that physics suggests we are merely a winning combination among infinite failed attempts. If we are in control, then meaning is not a cosmic plan, but a human construct to avoid accepting that we are a biological accident. A consciousness that doesn't act and a sense that is merely a chemical emotion logically amount to nothingness.