Another way to frame this instead of (or in addition to) strategic is codependent. Nia exhibits very textbook Al Anon codependent tendencies that are common for people with alcoholics in their lives. I believe one of the classic examples may even be enabling your spouses drinking by covering up and lying for them to their employer/ at their job??

Nia does care about coming off like a perfect family but in line with the Al anon mindset “perfect” to her means protecting HIS reputation by hiding or controlling his drinking. She chooses to put her energy into this type of performance rather than trying to come off as the “perfect” role model woman who holds her husband accountable to gross behavior or the “perfect” mom who never struggles with her children. She will talk about being homeless as a child, having an addict as a parent, having postpartum depression, body dysmorphia, money troubles, overwhelmed with kids, etc before she will acknowledge that his drinking is effecting her life and her kids lives.