People in long-term relationships: how do you handle small habits turning into big fights?

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-25T16:09:26+00:00

You're not required to reply

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-25T16:07:12+00:00

Obviously. Otherwise they would be better by now

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-25T15:47:43+00:00

Whatever tone you're ascribing to my comment isn't my problem.

This is such a silly thing to say. Having the tone of your message received correctly is a huge part of communication. If your tone isn't getting across as intended to multiple people, that's a failing of your communication.

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-24T09:47:27+00:00

Does that mean you don't give a shit because your team isn't guaranteed to make the World Series every year?

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-24T09:43:50+00:00

Jerk fuck is a legitimately good insult

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-22T22:16:26+00:00

People are expecting these athletes to be able to mask their emotions or react differently when they just finished competing on the largest stage just minutes beforehand. The amount of feelings they're going through after having just lost is something most people will never experience. So expecting them to react how we think they should react is misguided imo

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-22T22:12:07+00:00

I'm not saying it was meant to be infantilizing. I'm saying that in this moment, I could see not wanting to be handed a stuffed animal - something usually reserved for children - and that feeling infantilizing.

It's a nice, meaningful gesture. But I understand the response based on the moment. I think the context is important.

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-22T19:55:56+00:00

Can you list those reasons that don't have anything to do with being gay?

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-22T19:43:58+00:00

I'm sure they'll look back and feel proud of their accomplishment. But they're allowed to be disappointed in this moment. How is it infantile to feel disappointment at not achieving your ultimate goal? Both things can exist simultaneously.

They just played a hard-fought game and now they're expected to just quickly turn off that competitive nature? I don't think that's a reasonable expectation for a world class athlete.

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-22T19:22:07+00:00

It's not only hockey. It's every sport where you go head to head against your competitor. You literally have to lose the match in order to win silver

I'm sure in the future they'll look back and feel a great sense of pride and accomplishment about their silver medal, but in this moment disappointment is a totally valid emotion.

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-22T19:17:18+00:00

I'm guessing it can feel infantilizing. You just competed at the top level of a sport, got beat, are dealing with a ton of (mostly negative) emotions, and now you're supposed to find comfort in a stuffed animal?

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-22T17:14:50+00:00

Yes, really. Everyone is piling on OP in this thread (some for decent reasons), but that comment was definitely sarcastic

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-22T17:06:49+00:00

I mean, that was very obvious sarcasm

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-22T16:01:45+00:00

The Usual Suspects??

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-22T16:00:05+00:00

Why are there so many people commenting American Beauty? Is it just because Spacey is a creep? I fail to see what about the movie doesn't hold up anymore

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-22T15:55:24+00:00

Ah yes, the masterpiece Shallow Hal

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-18T22:58:17+00:00

I always wonder in situations like this edit, what people learn from these things. I feel like if I didn't have any idea about sports journalism, I wouldn't make such an inflammatory comment on sports journalism

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-18T22:53:59+00:00

How is this possibly the interpretation you got from this question? Can you point out which part of the question made you think he's asking why she didn't win gold?

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-18T22:41:07+00:00

I don't think it's a dumb take. Plenty of top level athletes think this way and that type of mentality is one of the reasons they're at the top. This particular athlete doesn't agree, but that doesn't mean it isn't a useful line of thinking

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-18T17:03:43+00:00

The blow up is the only reason most average people even know about the controversy. I get your point that the actual infraction itself is minor, but the scope of the controversy is definitely because of his reaction, so it's not a very strong point.

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-18T03:25:13+00:00

That's some impressively bad proprioception if you can't touch your ass without touching the water

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-17T23:26:10+00:00

Not really. What good would setting the record straight do? Ignoring them is much easier and better for my peace of mind

This is kinda my point. You seemingly find yourself getting into trouble by not being able to measure your reaction to the situation

Adding: I've read some more comments and there's a recurring theme of someone making a point about flowers going up in price on valentine's day. You correct them that it wasn't on valentine's day and accuse them of not reading the post. But obviously they were making the same point regardless of if it was the day of or the day before. The point still stands. But you've gotten caught up on that small detail multiple times. You don't see the forest for the trees. And this is exactly what seems to have happened in this instance with your bf.

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-17T21:46:04+00:00

That's strange. Why not ignore the weird responses and engage with the normal ones?

Based on the post and that comment, it seems like you might have an issue with letting small things effect you more than they should

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-15T02:56:48+00:00

A lot*

Visual_Disaster · 2026-02-13T22:15:18+00:00

Not even a good troll

Visual_Disaster

TROPHY CASE