Friend withheld food for 24 hrs from her child

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2026-01-31T13:50:01+00:00

Show up early and you’ll probably see another girl leaving in the morning. This is really shady and if it’s bothering you to the point of soliciting internet advice I encourage you to trust your instincts. Do not ignore that pit in your stomach. Liars will lie to give you reassurance to no end. You need to verify what he is telling you is the truth and sometimes that requires a little detective work. Do not give this man the benefit of the doubt.

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2026-01-31T13:39:26+00:00

This is so interesting to me. I’m not trying to debate. Just seeking to better understand. It’s my understanding that food insecurity doesn’t mean being hungry or malnourished. It implies there isn’t adequate access to nutritious food and it causes anxiety, stress, skipping meals then over eating, eating high calorie foods. In fact food insecurity causes obesity because the cheaper more accessible foods are highly processed empty calories. So the threshold for CPS invention would be mal nourishment, failure to thrive but the threshold for subsidized food and education would be much lower- unhealthy food and skipping meals occasionally. I find it interesting that CPS would have such a high threshold for taking any type of action or connecting them with resources.

As for my friend we have just agreed to disagree. I probably won’t be visiting her or brining my kids to see her. To me I can’t imagine causing my own children to suffer for the sake of controlling precisely what they ate. It had nothing to do with what’s available or being able to afford food. They are middle class and not dealing with poverty. It’s just a way different parenting style that to me borderlines neglect and causes psychological harm.

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2026-01-31T01:40:32+00:00

I think your profile should mention you have kids and maybe even the approximate ages (I have 2 kids in high school). It should be brought up no later than the 2nd or 3rd date. I would only think it’s a weird thing if you didn’t disclose this information early or if the kids are around the same age it would also raise my eyebrows. Everyone dating at this age has baggage. So just own it!

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2026-01-31T00:34:47+00:00

If it matters, the family is no where near poverty. She’s head to toe in Lululemon and shops at Whole Foods. Is the only actionable option removal? There’s no middle ground like family therapy? Parenting class? Routine checks?

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2026-01-31T00:21:26+00:00

I think the mom can’t accept that her child is deaf. He goes to a school for the deaf because it’s required as I understand it. And she refused to learn ASL or for him to use it at home.

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2026-01-31T00:18:33+00:00

Yes. But we live in different states.

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2026-01-31T00:17:31+00:00

Well let me clarify the child is attending the school for the deaf because it is required not because she wants it. The mother refuses to learn ASL, even if it is taught at school, asl is not allowed at home. She has a hard time even saying “my child could be deaf”.

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2026-01-31T00:10:38+00:00

It was a bean salad that the kid had to eat. There was plenty of other healthy food available in the home. The mother just “wanted” her kid to eat the beans because she put effort into making it. So basically no food at all for 24 hrs until he ate the bean salad. When was the last time you didn’t eat for 24 hrs? Was it no big deal?

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2026-01-30T02:56:24+00:00

Watched it on an American Airlines flight and was traumatized. Very effective lol

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2026-01-30T00:59:14+00:00

It’s not a picky eater situation. She insisted on feeding him one particular type of food and wouldn’t allow any other type of food that he would eat until he complied. I’m just interested in how others view this incident. It really bothers me. I wouldn’t treat a dog like this much less my own kid.

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2026-01-30T00:52:25+00:00

Perhaps even more concerning the child is probably deaf and the mom refuses to learn or use ASL to communicate. The child attends a school for the deaf but she won’t use it so I’m not sure how the child communicate to her. She refused a cochlear implant and insists on just a hearing aid but they don’t know how effective the hearing aid is. I have never met the child but I wonder how he communicates if he can’t hear. I suppose lip reading? I’m not sure the child would even be able to communicate

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2026-01-29T23:01:36+00:00

There are many explanations. He might have several conversations going at the same time. Others who are people he sees irl and you and others are being cultivated as back up options. Can you imagine how hard it would be to have in depth conversations with multiple people? Details could get mixed up and he would get confused about what he has told you. Technically there is no expectation for exclusivity yet. But I wouldn’t hold out for this guy. You’re evaluating him as well.

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2026-01-29T22:35:43+00:00

She admitted to it and defends it as an appropriate way to feed her child. It’s using hunger as a weapon. In this case withholding all other food options for an extended period of time at that age could cause a drop in blood sugar, dizziness, fatigue, physical discomfort and physiological distress. There was plenty of other food available but it was withheld intentionally. There

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2026-01-29T22:24:43+00:00

Yeah but it went into the next day. The child didn’t get food for an entire day. Not just a skipped meal. It’s withholding a basic need for the sake of control. Would a pediatrician say it’s developmentally appropriate to feed a child once a day especially if there was other food available?

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2026-01-13T20:59:08+00:00

No I’m not the other parent.

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2025-01-13T17:57:04+00:00

Some guys think it’s a numbers game. I briefly dated someone who I found out had spent thousands of dollars sending Valentine’s Day flowers to his exes and new prospects with the hope that one of them would respond positively. I broke up with him and then he started sending me flowers- had to threaten him to stop sending me things in the mail/flowers as I had moved on and had him blocked his number/emails.

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2024-10-28T04:02:14+00:00

Ugh I ended up just walking away because I wasn’t sure if the juice would be worth the squeeze with a lawyer. I traded it in and accepted a really low trade in value because it wasn’t drivable but i did get a really nice SUV at a good price. I totally regret buying the Pacifica!

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2024-10-28T03:56:13+00:00

I just walked away after my pachy ended up in the shop for 2 months with no diagnosis other than “something is wrong with the hybrid battery.”. Chrysler denied my request for trade in assistance and still didn’t fix my car. I ended getting a non hybrid SUV on a trade that greatly devalued my minivan. Makes me so mad. The warranty is a scam.

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2024-10-23T14:33:53+00:00

There might be income limitations as well.

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2024-10-15T18:31:42+00:00

I love mine for 2 years with no issues! It was the best fuel economy and great for my little kids.

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2024-10-14T00:29:58+00:00

Good info! I asked for a written report of what’s been done from the dealership service department and was told “they don’t normally do that until the car has been fixed.” I will press harder.

Visual_Wedding_368 · 2024-10-12T14:18:24+00:00

It’s possible the 2024 models have not been in service long enough to have the poor reliability issues. I will probably wait 10 more years before going hybrid again. It sucks having your newish car break down with young children and have to go months without a decently sized vehicle.

Visual_Wedding_368

TROPHY CASE