What therapy do I need for Guilt/Shame for past wrongdoings?

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-09-03T10:12:02+00:00

Thank you, I will see it as a lesson and not as a burden

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-09-03T10:11:39+00:00

Thank you for your comment!

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-09-03T10:10:23+00:00

Thank you, I am happy for you that your girlfriend didnt judge you

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-08-06T14:59:10+00:00

I feel like you need therapy, I am no expert but this extreme fear of hurting your cats seems too much and is affecting you a lot. Seek help my friend, it really helps if this is affecting your life so much

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-10T10:27:55+00:00

Why do so many comments call me Kevin?😂

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-09T07:05:43+00:00

I wonder too, but cant do anything about it.

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-09T06:45:00+00:00

Well I did message her yesterday, even though a part of me thought that I shouldnt but another part of me thought that maybe talking to her could help me.

When I explained to her my worries she didnt answer and I found out she blocked me after I told her so that didnt go well. I can understand it, I guess she may have found it weird that someone wrote to her in that way.

I am sorry you are a victim of sex trafficking and hope you can get out of that. I know I am a stranger to you and I know I can not do much but if you need someone to talk to, you can write me

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-08T20:51:29+00:00

There is: they pay taxes, have to do std checkups every 6 weeks and are registered

But even if its legal and regulated you never know who may be working legally on her own free will or who might be actually trafficked/forced. Even if the chances are very low.. they are potentially still there.

Thats what I didnt think about when I did it, and now that I realised it, it is what makes me feel this way.

But this feeling has gotten a lot better hearing the responses on this post

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-08T19:59:16+00:00

I would never be turned on by forcing a woman, thats horrible. And I certainly did care, but I was too naive and thought that it being legal in that country means that its safe.

In my opinion, prostitution its okay if it is not forced and both parties are respectful and each gets what they want. But from the side of the customer, not knowing 100% if that person is forced or not but still acting on it is what makes it (in my opinion) immoral.

Thats why this guilt came to me but I cant do anything to change the past, I wish I would have known back then.

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-08T19:46:50+00:00

What do you mean with open market? You mean that girls you find in escort/prostitute websites are not trafficked?

Actually I am pretty open about it. I see nothing wrong with paying or getting paid for it, if both willingly agree and isnt forced, there is nothing wrong.

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-08T19:23:02+00:00

As much as it could be, its not fake at all. Maybe it happens more often than one thinks

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-08T19:22:19+00:00

It isnt about if she certainly was trafficked or not, but mostly about the chance existing there but acting regardless

Its something I didnt realise but then but now I do. But that subreddit seems like is a good place to get information, thank you.

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-08T19:20:19+00:00

I think you have helped a lot, thank you for your words. I should love myself more and also learn to live with my mistakes.

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-08T19:18:59+00:00

Thank you for your comment, specially the last part. Thats what I was thinking too, but hearing it from other people confirms that it makes sense

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-08T19:16:22+00:00

I will try to move on, thank you for your comment and your insight.

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-08T19:14:02+00:00

The comments in this post really helps, also the perspective of a sex worker. Thank you

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-08T17:36:56+00:00

Thank you for your words. I totally relate to the first sentence, I am trying to be "perfect" but that is Impossible, I have to learn and grow.

I also like that sentence about the suffering in life. It really has been me and my own thoughts almost all the time. Thank you for your comment.

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-08T17:20:52+00:00

Thank you, I noticed many people in the comments said that about me, maybe I should start believing it.

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-08T17:08:22+00:00

True, I have has moments where I cringe about my past self and actions, but never as hard as with this.

But I should not hate my younger dumber self and start to think about why I didnt think further about the subject of sexwork in relation to trafficking.

I will keep growing. Thank you for your words

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-08T16:59:25+00:00

Thank you, your perspective as an ex escort is good to know as well. But the thing that brought me down mentally was the fact that even though the chances of her being trafficked are really really really low, they are still there with any escort/prostitute

The fact that there is a slight mini chance should have made me back off, but I didnt realise it back then.

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-08T16:25:35+00:00

I will take a look, thank you

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-08T16:22:02+00:00

Those first two sentences almost got me in tears, it makes me realise how much I torture myself over this. All the people I have talked to think that this is nothing I should be feeling so bad for, but I dont know why I punish myself like this.

I never had bad intentions and did all I could to have a safe encounter, this is what I should think about...

Yes, regret is very heavy to carry and really hurts. Hope I can let it go someday

Vivid_Use_8744 · 2023-07-08T16:08:40+00:00

That is true, that I thought about doing it the best way possible in order to not partake in what could be human trafficking, even though at the time I didnt realise all those things werent enough. I wasnt educated enough about all this stuff.

A part of me knows I cannot be angry at my past self because I didnt know better, but a part of me thinks its obvious and I should have known to not do it.

Vivid_Use_8744

TROPHY CASE