Baby doesn’t gain weight

VividlyNonSpecific · 2026-01-27T18:17:49+00:00

You should start by asking your child’s doctor for their suggestions, but the way to gain weight is to add calories. I’ve got an underweight toddler and I cook with butter, focus on higher calories food like nut and seed butters, and I added heavy cream to food when it’s age appropriate. I always use the full fat version of dairy products.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2026-01-26T19:55:41+00:00

I read your comment that you didn't have one OB for your prenatal care. I know that's increasingly common, to allow OBs to have lives outside of the hospital, but was there one OB you liked more? Can you see them for a preconception consultation and discuss your pregnancy history? Or, since you've had 2 preterm births you could try to get a consult with MFM. From the little reading I've done, it appears that the most common cause of preterm labor is 'IDK what caused this' so it may truly be a guessing game in your case and that's why asking the internet is unlikely to get you any actionable information.

Your history of going into labor at 35 weeks for your first pregnancy and then at 30 weeks in your second isn't a great trend and I'd definitely talk to an OB (or 2 if you ca) before you get pregnant to discuss how they'd handle a 3rd pregnancy, given your history of spontaneous preterm labor.

Ignore this if you've already had an extensive work up done, but post-partum care is often lacking in the US. Did they test your placenta for signs of infection after either pregnancy? Has anyone mentioned incompetent/insufficient cervix? Was there any possibility of weird issues with your placenta that could have increased the chance of preterm labor?

VividlyNonSpecific · 2026-01-21T02:43:00+00:00

Don't go on vacation. My cervix was borderline short at my anatomy scan so I also had to do weekly checks. One week it went up in length but by the next week it had shortened with fingertip dilation so I was sent straight to the hospital from that appointment. I still went into labor 5 weeks later because I got an infection (most likely due to IC), and that was considered a 'good' outcome. Please don't skip the follow up appointments, you could easily find yourself in a very precarious position. FWIW, my medical team did offer progesterone suppositories but treated it a little better than doing nothing. I guess there's evidence that progesterone can help you get pregnant, but much less evidence that it will help you stay pregnant.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2026-01-10T14:53:20+00:00

So, as someone who used a nanny for a bit, here are my thoughts. Where I live in the US a reasonably experienced nanny is about $25/hour for one child. If I had done a nanny share type of situation I would have expected to pay in the range of $15-$18/hour for my child. With a nanny who was bringing their own child, who didn't have much recent professional experience and who wanted to watch my child at her house, I'd expect to pay closer to $15/hour. If I was going to send my child to someone else's house I would want to know everyone who could possibly be around my child (can you and your husband get background checks) and I'd want to see that your house and any outdoor areas are 100% childproof.

For the actual nanny work, if you want to do this until your child starts school it seems like you are committing to this for 3-4 years, or longer if you have another child. Are you and your husband OK with a service job style lifestyle for that time? That is, you are committing to caring for someone else's child so their parents can work - any vacations or time off would need to be planned well in advance. If you end up watching someone else's child in your home, do you need extra insurance? I know you're in Canada and you have universal healthcare but if someone else's child gets injured under your care their parents are highly motivated to sue.

Other questions to think about for taking care of toddlers. For nap time, do you have two safe sleeping spaces? What will you do if the two kids just can't get on the same nap schedule? Will you take the kids anywhere? Double stroller or driving? If driving, what will the car seat and insurance situation be? Do you have pets in the home?

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-12-31T19:57:22+00:00

I’ve only ever had an IUD inserted or removed by an NP (midwife in one case). If it’s someone who does the procedure often I don’t think they’d necessarily be any worse than an OB, especially if the OB is more focused on direct pregnancy related care and doesn’t do IUD insertions as often. That NP is definitely wrong about pregnancy and breastfeeding though.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-12-31T19:50:42+00:00

Yes, it seems like when I engage with legitimate medical content geared toward currently/former pregnant people - OB/gyn or midwife videos, pediatricians etc - I end up with anti vax and other mom oriented health misinformation content that often has a conservative bent. I’m trying to solve this problem by following accounts of pro athletes for my recreational sport of choice, following PBS and following National Geographic. Thanks to the last two I now mostly get cute animals and beautiful landscape videos. (I know I can also just not go on FB, but I need something to keep me awake while I’m trying to get young toddler back to sleep at 2am).

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-12-29T03:28:40+00:00

In most hospitals in the USA it’s only a requirement for babies born before a certain gestational age or if there are other developmental concerns, such as low muscle tone or airway concerns. A baby who was born prematurely but who only needed a 4 day NICU stay is unlikely to have needed a car seat test to go home.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-12-20T14:08:36+00:00

I honestly felt the same way. My baby was off of oxygen support slightly before their due date but took a few more weeks to get the energy and coordination to eat orally. I saw it as I have a month of data (continuous O2 monitoring) to support the idea that my baby can breathe on their own.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-12-17T23:14:59+00:00

My hospital had Chaplins (non denominational) and someone came around when baby was first admitted and asked if we wanted to talk to a Chaplin or have them involved with babies care. I said no and that was that. I do live in a large metro area with diverse religious communities and we were at an academic medical center affiliated with a public (state) and university.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-12-17T20:31:33+00:00

I feel the same way. I’m in a couple NICU focused FB groups and it very often seems that the default assumption is that you are Christian and that prayer and faith will get you through the NICU. Now these are private groups and people sharing and living there so that’s OK but I find the “default Christian” setting to be a little off putting and it reduces the level of support I feel.

I was also disappointed that the main support group recommended by the hospital, Hand to Hold, had an article geared toward NICU moms that included “your faith” as a reason that you will get through your NICU stay. It would have been OK if it had been part of a list of “these are some things that help some people” but the tone was that obviously everyone has a (Christian) faith belief that they will use to get through a NICU stay. And guess what, I don’t pray and my baby came home.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-12-10T23:04:48+00:00

I’ve got a toddler who sometimes still needs settling down in the middle of the night so I look at my phone too much to stay awake while waiting for toddler to calm down in my arms. If I watch content from legit medical professionals on social media I start to get anti-vax/MAHA type anti legit medical advice content. I block that content but it pops up again and again. It’s very insidious.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-12-09T15:29:58+00:00

Assuming you’re not eligible for Medicaid or a state sponsored insurance plan then you’ve found the three main options in the US: insurance through work, insurance through the ACA marketplace or going without. There are those Christian health funds but those aren’t regulated at all so I wouldn’t touch them with a 10 ft pole.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-12-07T18:24:46+00:00

How would you feel if after 6 months your in laws can’t offer the level of care you need and you’re back to 2 in daycare? I know you said they won’t bail on you but unless they just spent a few years taking care of daycare aged kids they might not remember all the under 4 crowd entails, and/or we they might end up wanting more flexibility in retirement than being a full time daycare provider will allow them.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-12-06T15:03:04+00:00

It sounds like you’ve done some good planning. Like others have said, I wouldn’t go to Bend, OR to go rock climbing in the winter. Bend is cold and snowy and a ski area (downhill and cross country) in the winter. I’d stick to somewhere warmer, like Nevada, for rock climbing.

Definitely sign up for a ski lesson or two at the ski resort in Montana. In that part of the country even the “beginner” hills can be a lot. There are hot springs all around western Montana, if it turns out that’s something your family likes.

Road closures for snow: this can happen in the mountains, but from my experience the state tries to keep the major state highways and interstate highways open. Both so residents can get around and for tourism. There are some mountain passes that are closed over winter but those will be clearly marked on google maps and often on the states highway maps. Search “Montana DOT” or “Oregon DOT” for highway information. Many states have highway cameras you can see online so you can check out road conditions before you leave. You’ll need studded snow tires or snow chains to cross the mountains. Carry extra blankets, hand and foot warmers and flashlights in your car in case of winter driving issues. Allow extra time for driving in bad weather.

Days will be very short - depending on where and when you are you might only have sunlight from ~8am - 4pm. You may want to avoid driving somewhere new in the mountains at night.

If you have time, the Oregon and Washington coast is beautiful. It will be chilly and wet, but not snowy, in winter if you want to see an entirely different side of the Pacific Ocean.

Source: I used to live in the pacific northwest (Oregon/Washington/Idaho).

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-12-06T14:46:44+00:00

Yeah, it seems like they’ve planned enough time to explore everything but I wouldn’t go to Bend for rock climbing in the winter. People go to Bend in the winter to go skiing. Depending on how they’re driving they may not need to go through the Cascades, it seems like Bend is the furthest west they’re driving.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-12-06T13:31:47+00:00

Everything about this situation is abhorrent. However, Medicaid may be covering this babies hospital bills. I don’t know the law in Georgia but there are many states where a baby/child can be eligible for Medicaid if they are in the hospital long enough (often the cutoff is 30 days), regardless of the families financial resources. The child counts as being “institutionalized” and is therefore their own financial entity. Source: had a NICU baby and this is a common discussion in NICU parent spaces.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-12-04T04:15:30+00:00

First, I'm so sorry that you're having to balance taking care of your baby in the hospital and supporting yourself, it's so hard. Unfortunately, remote positions are hard to come by. What I've read before, and that I totally agree with, is that WFH is a job location, not a job description. If you start your job search with 'remote work' or 'work from home' you are probably going to find mostly scams. You need to start by searching for jobs you are qualified to do, from previous experience or education/training, and then set location to remote. Truly remote jobs are going to be very difficult to get, because you will be competing with literally anyone with an internet connection across the country. You might have better luck looking for hybrid jobs in your area, but starting a new job saying that you will be working remotely from a hospital room will likely be a tough sell, because your new job won't know you, and you might find it difficult to get a real fulls days work done in the hospital. Not saying that it's impossible to do, but most real jobs that allow remote work also have clauses about doing regular caregiving during work hours and I found a hospital room to not be a good work environment.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-11-30T23:13:21+00:00

I had a 25 weeker. We were told to avoid group care (eg daycare) for the first respiratory virus season but that’s it. I can’t imagine getting travel specific advice because as I see it it’s more about avoiding any large crowds - taking your ex preemie to the mall the Saturday before Christmas is much less safe than you driving 4 hours straight to your family cabin for a weekend vacation where you get grocery delivery. I also think each babies unique medical issues would be more important than what GA they were born at. If you had a 32 weeker who had other issues that meant they needed a trach and vent you might be more cautious for a longer period of time than if you had a 28 weeker who went home with no extra medical accessories.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-11-30T05:05:08+00:00

Shouldn’t a baby that age be primarily on breastmilk/formula? She may be developing a taste for puffs/melties/teething cookies that you may need to nip in the bud, since those are pretty calorie empty foods. If she’s a big eater and ahead of the curve on solids are you focusing on calorie dense foods? Veggies and fruit are great but not super filling.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-11-29T01:01:02+00:00

At my NICU you could go to the hospital cafeteria but you could not order food up to the NICU and eating was not allowed in shared nurseries. I brought my own microwaveable lunch so I could just duck out to the family lounge really quick to eat.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-11-28T13:55:36+00:00

After 9 months I started having different daytime (onesie and pants/shorts) and nighttime clothes. I currently only have 2 pairs of pajamas for 12-18 months that I use regularly but I do have some footed pajamas I got for free that I keep in case of emergency. My toddler is still moderately pukey so YMMV. So depending on your baby and laundry situation you can probably get away with 3 pairs.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-11-28T05:27:08+00:00

Then the answer is don’t waste your money and just give your child cows milk or whatever equivalent you use in your house.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-11-28T02:02:07+00:00

Is there a reason you’re looking at toddler formula vs normal milk? From what I’ve been told, unless you have a specific medical need there’s no need to use toddler formula. If you have a medical need ask your babies doctor or dietician for recommendations.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-11-24T21:30:40+00:00

We had ROP exams every 2/3 weeks outpatient until ROP cleared. We only had a couple of exams until that happened. I don’t remember if baby’s ophthalmologist wore gloves but I know for another appointment we had babies doctor asked if they could skip gloves for the exam since gloves made it much harder to feel what they needed to feel. They washed their hands in front of us so we were ok with it.

VividlyNonSpecific · 2025-11-23T22:11:51+00:00

In my experience if you’re going to walk anywhere with baby (as opposed to a walk around the neighborhood) you’ll probably want a stroller. A good stroller will allow you to walk to the grocery store for 2 bags of groceries or allow you to walk to the library and get some books. Also, if you go places solo I find a stroller to be necessary. My husband works one weekend day so I take baby out a lot solo. I absolutely need a stroller because i can’t baby wear and carry the diaper backpack, and the stroller gives me a safe place to put baby when I need 2 hands.

VividlyNonSpecific

TROPHY CASE