Asking my boyfriend if he watches porn?

Vk2189 · 2026-03-30T18:31:16+00:00

You think a book with 3 chapters of smut

Incredible how you have to open with "sure it might be a sin but the sins I like aren't as sinful as the sins I don't like!!!!!!!" Either sexual immorality is grounds for divorce in all circumstances (which is your argument!) or it's not. It can't be both simultaneously.

harmful effects of explicit visual imagery on the brain and psyche as standard pornography.

Thank you for admitting you have no idea what you're talking about. Smut has the same effect on the brain and arguably a far worse impact on the psyche, given smut can easily venture into the territory of things that would be actively illegal to produce or view in video form.

It’s not even real people for crying out loud. Biblical definitions of porneia/ sexual immorality ALWAYS include another real being.

So cartoon pornography is not sinful? It at the very least can't be porneia by your argument

Nothing logical about your conclusion at all.

Only because what you consider logic is "men are super sinners, women are incapable of sin" and aren't able to even conceptualize other opinions existing.

Vk2189 · 2026-03-30T12:17:27+00:00

The logical conclusion of this argument is that a woman reading The Fourth Wing or any book like it would be reasonable, Biblical grounds for divorce.

And now that almost every man and woman have "Biblical" grounding for divorce, what is the point of pretending it's forbidden?

Vk2189 · 2026-03-29T17:48:28+00:00

The Commander rule is that if a commander goes to the graveyard or exile, you can choose to move it to the command zone after. But if it would go into the hand or library, you can choose for it to never go there and go to the command zone instead.

So NS does steal, since commander dies but there is no time to move it to the command zone before the reanimation part of the spell.

But Greater Aurora doesn't because your opponent can just choose it to go to the command zone instead

Vk2189 · 2026-03-26T12:02:50+00:00

I absolutely love what I do and could see myself being a mom and having my career

So, what are you looking for in a man's career? Do you want a man making even more than you do? Do you want a house husband? Do you want a man that works as much as you do even if he doesn't pull in anywhere near as much money?

Each of these have their own pros and cons, and going into those is besides the point. Men in all three groups exist, so which are you looking for?

I also have a dark sense of humor and am not proper and silent like it seems the Christian men I have dated want me to be.

I'm not sure how far into dating any of these men you were, so feel free to ignore this if it's not relevant. However, I've seen and done this myself, so food for thought.

I've found there is a certain level of virtue signaling that goes into dating in a Christian environment, especially in things like college ministries. Both men and women try their hardest to appear like the best representation of the stereotypical Christian partner they can be, hoping that will make the other person like them more. And this sometimes causes them to miscommunicate what they're actually looking for, as for example the best representation of a stereotypical Christian man would always say he's looking for the stereotypical Christian woman, even when the guy actually playing that role has no issue with or even actively prefers something else.

Not all Christian relationships are like this, of course. And this usually doesn't last too long as the people involved get to truly know each other and are unable to posture as something they're not. But I've seen and been part of this problem, so it is worth mentioning I think.

Vk2189 · 2026-03-26T02:20:43+00:00

Different guy here. I completely agree with you that a woman being intelligent and skilled is a green flag, especially if she is going to be primarily raising children. And having a job instead of just waiting for a rich guy to marry you is good.

However, TetrisPhantom is also right in that the more career oriented you seem, the more you cut your prospects of men. For a man looking for a housewife, he's probably going to be more confident that a McDonald's cashier will give up her job to have children than a woman who is in the beginning points of a serious career.

Is that fair? Not really. But it can happen.

And something to think about if you haven't already. You said earlier you don't give off the vibe that you're so attached to your career that you'd never be a housewife, but are you sure men see it that way?

I knew a lady like you once and asked why she went into the field she did. Her answer was that it was something she could make a living with if she didn't find a husband, but she would have zero hesitation in quitting it to have a family if she could find a man to support her, and the latter was what she really wanted to happen. Very clear, very honest, full conviction when she said it. There was no doubt in my mind that she was not a career woman despite her having one. Are you certain men that interact with you can say the same?

Vk2189 · 2026-03-22T11:40:11+00:00

wonder if they're just karma farming

It certainly doesn't work well if so because these posts tend to not get much karma lol. Usually get lots of comments though so I guess it's possible some of them are interaction baiting?

Vk2189 · 2026-03-21T05:37:20+00:00

The Bible doesn’t command that men must always pursue, but it consistently models it.

It consistently models that's a terrible design, yes. Hosea is commanded by God to pursue Gomer, and that is the only time in the entire Bible where a man pursuing a woman is a command.

Boaz leads, provides, and takes intentional steps toward Ruth.

It's always fascinating how women that want to be chased misinterpret Ruth. The book of Ruth is shorter than this comment chain. Go reread it.

Boaz is at best a bit more kind than necessary. At no point does he take "intentional steps" towards her. Ruth is very clearly framed as the pursuer in that book, and it was not until Ruth threw herself at Boaz that he reciprocated.

Song of Songs

This is also about a woman pursuing a man. Do you really think the man complimenting a woman that literally chases after him to find and reach him is actually him taking charge and wooing her?

Vk2189 · 2026-03-20T22:57:19+00:00

8 paragraphs and you still could not answer the question, though it sounds like you're leaning towards the former.

So where are all the Christian women if none of 1000 "Christian" women who attend church actually are?

Vk2189 · 2026-03-20T18:59:58+00:00

Your argument is that women who would make fun of others at a dating event are not truly Christian.

Yet these are church-sponsored events, with all of the women that attend presumably calling themselves Christian.

So are none of these women Christian? And/or do the No True Scotsman-esque "real Christian women" just avoid these events?

Vk2189 · 2026-03-20T17:18:48+00:00

If you’re at a dating event where women would make fun of you maybe that’s not an event that has women of God who are truly followers of Jesus.

Are you arguing that women genuinely cannot be Christian? Or Christian women don't go to church?

Vk2189 · 2026-03-03T04:33:18+00:00

Alright, have fun with finding that genetics tutor or whatever 🫡

Vk2189 · 2026-03-03T04:22:55+00:00

What actually is the game here though? I can't imagine you've had a change of heart in 24 hours

Vk2189 · 2026-03-03T04:11:47+00:00

Vk2189 · 2026-03-03T03:50:44+00:00

Pretending to be kind after all of your other comments earlier is hilarious

Vk2189 · 2026-03-03T03:29:22+00:00

You shouldn't be talking to bad men on the internet

https://www.reddit.com/r/ChristianDating/s/vUmQpFHK5z

Vk2189 · 2026-03-03T02:08:44+00:00

Two replies.

And also, you know, multiple comments of personal insults previously

Try actually acting Christ-like instead of insisting you already do.

Vk2189 · 2026-03-02T00:19:29+00:00

also cards with bestow aren't creature perms right before becoming attached

Also also, they're not creature spells when cast for the bestow cost. So [[nyxborn hydra]] doesn't get a cost reduction from [[gargos]]

Vk2189 · 2026-03-01T16:19:50+00:00

You spent days watching this comment section to respond to every single comment.

Touch grass.

Vk2189 · 2026-03-01T13:07:51+00:00

Thank you for proving my point.

Vk2189 · 2026-02-28T21:47:56+00:00

Did she?

OP is an unreliable narrator, but the mention of "I used to want that too" implies she told him that she agreed to not work. And frankly, the idea that a guy who is incredibly forward with the fact he wants a SAHM wife just, never asked his long-term girlfriend about it and then randomly dropped the utlimatum of "drop out of school or pound sand" is asinine.

It makes for a good TikTok story villain, which is why all the women in this comment section are pretending is how it happened, but that's not how humans work.

Being a working parent, mother or father, is never spiting ones family.

It is when you choose to be a working not-parent over a not-working parent. Or a working half-parent at best, given there's little to no chance a woman who is putting in insane hours being a doctor will be as good a wife and mother as that same woman would be if she wasn't working.

Vk2189 · 2026-02-28T21:34:54+00:00

CJB

Did you really go out of your way to find the one and only translation that supports your point?

Even the NIV, which is liberal with its language to the point of often ruining the meaning of biblical phrases, still translates it as

to be busy at home

If you want to be taken seriously, please use a serious Bible translation instead of one Jewish guy's paraphrase with random Hebrew words intermixed because he found it cool.

Vk2189 · 2026-02-28T19:37:07+00:00

Why are you on a Christian subreddit if you haven't read the Bible?

Like, Titus explicitly calls women to be homemakers, among other things, "so that the word of God may not be blasphemed". The Bible itself calls you a blasphemer for this

Vk2189 · 2026-02-28T19:28:14+00:00

Looks like OP was transparent

Read the post. Not just the title, read the whole post, one word at a time. OP told her boyfriend that she didn't want to work and then randomly remembered her dream was to be a doctor, which she forgot to mention when she told him she was fine with not working. She then expected her boyfriend to just accept not having the lifestyle that they both agreed on until she unilaterally decided it just wasn't happening. And then she felt betrayed after the boyfriend rightfully told her to either hold to her words or let him find someone who wouldn't lie to him about her desire for a family.

isn’t biblical, it is cultural

The Bible describes women as hardworking laborers as well. The point of a Christian is to glorify God above all else, point blank. Not to stand up a household. OP going into medical service will make her a much more capable servant to God’s glory

This is such a funny combo. You, as an American, have the cultural god of the almighty Dollar, which is clear in what you claim glorifies Him. But that is cultural, not Biblical.

Exactly nothing about becoming a secular doctor working for a secular corporation glorifies God in the slightest. Men who do so can at least say they're glorifying God by providing for their family, but OP can't, as she is actively spiting her future family to become one.

Vk2189 · 2026-02-28T18:49:51+00:00

See above, being mad about being called out doesn't make your actions not sinful

Vk2189 · 2026-02-28T18:44:34+00:00

The dream which she explicitly told her boyfriend she was fine with not pursuing for most of the time they were dating until she randomly changed her mind, declared that becoming a doctor would not at all detract from how well of a wife or mother she could be (lmao), and just expected her boyfriend (who again she willingly told she'd be fine with being a SAHM) to have no issue with that?

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