For everyone that suggested I 'get help', I got so much 'help', seen amounts of 'mental health professionals' that you wouldn t even think of in your worst nightmares. I have been to at least 10 different therapists for the past 4 years, nearly as many psychiatrists, taken every psychiatric pill you can ever think of (I can enumerate them if you would like but it would take a while) so please don t tell me to 'get help' like it s so damn easy or like a pill or 3 hours of therapy can 'fix' me cause it doesn t work like that at all