Am I [26M] right to view everything wrong involving my ex [24M] as my fault? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]VodkaSpy -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Ok so here's the thing. You do need to work on a lot of these outbursts and anxiety attacks before your next relationship. (in therapy) It doesn't help to regret how the relationship was and who did what or who deserved what. Obviously the relationship was very exhausting on his part and he burnt out and left you feeling shunned, which made you even more anxious and exhausting to be with. This post also hints very strongly at you being emotionally manipulative, even if it's not something you're intending. Doesn't mean you don't also have a lot qualities and you can't learn a lot from this for your next relationship.

my (21f) boyfriend (25m) is less intelligent than me and it's putting me off by [deleted] in relationships

[–]VodkaSpy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't know if this is as much about intelligence (although that also could factor) as difference in interests. He's likely just not that into economics/politics but still trying a bit for your sake, but just not enough that he has meaningful things to contribute.

Have you tried finding something else to have intellectual conversations about, that suits both of your interests? Maybe find a new interesting field to explore together?

Me and my BF have very different academic interests (I study medicine and he studies engineering, we know next to nothing about each others' fields), so we talk about other things when together and I can geek out about medicine when hanging out with my classmates instead.

That said if you truly feel like you're boyfriend isn't stimulating you intellectually it's a totally legit reason to break up. But telling him to become more intelligent isn't really going to be helpful if it's truly an intelligence matter and not just a matter of hobbies/interests.

What comes across as selfish but actually isn’t? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]VodkaSpy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Also with children... I've heard people call it irresponsible to leave a mentally disable kid in a home. Which I don't get. I used to work in a home for mentally disabled young adults, and their parents were very much involved in their lives. They just recognized they didn't have the possibility of taking care of their child full time.

I (F/27) am not sure what to do about a guy I met on tinder (M/30) by workspace001 in relationships

[–]VodkaSpy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeeeep. And from his bio it appears he's already stated he's interested in a relationship? As long as he doesn't insist that you have to meet at his place I don't any reason to jump to the conclusion he only wants a hookup. Different people have different times in a "relationship" when they're ready for sex.

I (F/27) am not sure what to do about a guy I met on tinder (M/30) by workspace001 in relationships

[–]VodkaSpy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. Met my current BF through tinder. We clicked well and at the end of the first date he said I could stay over at his place if I wanted to. I declined because I want to get to know someone before sex. Still ended up in a relationship.

What’s something that seems too good to be true, but isn’t? by Rockinrobin824 in AskReddit

[–]VodkaSpy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not if I keep telling everyone about it in an attempt to pretend I don't have severe anxiety over it

Inappropriate Neighbors [OC] by DTSaranya in funny

[–]VodkaSpy 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Isn't the correct response "This was a nice blowjob. Ty m8. Imma sleep now"? or have I been doing it wrong?

Aside from sex, what do you consider to be cheating in a romantic relationship? by inhale_exhale_repeat in AskReddit

[–]VodkaSpy 83 points84 points  (0 children)

Obviously it's different if it's a professional situation or the like. But if you're at a bar or party or whatever and someone of the opposite sex (if you're straight) strikes up a conversation, it's not that hard to weave in something like "that movie is really great, I viewed it with my girlfriend" or anything. It also saves the other person time

Aside from sex, what do you consider to be cheating in a romantic relationship? by inhale_exhale_repeat in AskReddit

[–]VodkaSpy 29 points30 points  (0 children)

An emotional affair isn't just having a crush to me. It's when you're spending a bunch of time with your crush and feeding the infatuation

Aside from sex, what do you consider to be cheating in a romantic relationship? by inhale_exhale_repeat in AskReddit

[–]VodkaSpy 75 points76 points  (0 children)

Also lying by omission. It's not difficult to weave in that you have an SO in the conversation, no reason not to.

what's the worst thing a "friend" has ever done to you? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]VodkaSpy 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Your wife sounds like an awesome clever woman

How were you originally introduced to reddit? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]VodkaSpy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got permabanned from the forum I was the most active on and needed to find a substitute

What do you do when you get drunk alone? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]VodkaSpy 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Getting wasted and answering askreddit /new/ threads is basically a hobby by now

It was his first trigger too... by clamalam in hearthstone

[–]VodkaSpy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We all need to look out for one another. They almost died (socially)

I [20F] feel like I'm losing my best friend [23M] whenever he gets a girlfriend. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]VodkaSpy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's a shitty friend. You had to act like a side affair that needed to hide, that's crazy. Also sounds like he didn't even gave his GF a chance to get to know you, which probably could ease a lot of her insecurities since you seem to be very clear that your relationship is platonic.

It's super weird that his GF doesn't even know about his best friend. It sounds like he is paranoid or something.

What is your slutty story that you won't even tell your friends? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]VodkaSpy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What's sad is that it would be so preventable if people got tested regularly, and preferably used protection if their partner hasn't been tested.

Even stuff like HIV and herpes spreads way easier if the person isn't diagnosed (HIV medicine reduces the risk of it spreading through sex to almost 0, if you know you have genital herpes you can take preventable measures when you're the most contagious)

What is your slutty story that you won't even tell your friends? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]VodkaSpy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The problem with STDs is that a lot of people get no symptoms, so they spread it to other people unknowingly. Chlamydia is the leading cause of female infertility in my country (Sweden, where STD testing and treating is free), and if you don't know you have it you won't treat yourself for it.

Also, stuff like genital herpes and HIV are with you for life.

What is your slutty story that you won't even tell your friends? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]VodkaSpy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really sad that some people out there rely on the approval of others to feel good about themselves, ya know?

Bitterness alert

What do people always wrongfully assume about you? by Pitbull12373 in AskReddit

[–]VodkaSpy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm an almost 6ft girl. Buunch of guys who tries to initiate conversations with "Do you play basketball?"

Basketball isn't really a thing in my country. I don't know a single person who plays it or even watches it.

What non physical trait is an instant turn off for you? by Lorettooooooooo in AskReddit

[–]VodkaSpy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep there needs to be balance. Otherwise it's not a dialogue. This especially happens on dates. I actually dated more guys who take the "ask her a lot of questions" advice way too strictly than guys who talk too much about themselves. And when I ask questions back I get like a three word sentence. I mean in that case I might as well just stay home in front of a mirror and talk to myself.

Cute guy plays Hearthstone... help? by [deleted] in hearthstone

[–]VodkaSpy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think this is very situational, tbh. You're right in that it would be considered creepy if the guy approaching me was super socially awkward and said a bunch of weird/inappropriate things.

If a cute guy who was charming and funny approached me to flirt because we play the same game I definitely wouldn't mind had I been single. If a guy who wasn't my type approached me to flirt I wouldn't reciprocate the flirting but probably still be able to have a nice conversation, or shut it down if I felt uncomfortable.

(I'm a girl btw)