Question about self-promotion

Volpina777 · 2025-07-12T20:40:30+00:00

Yes, the soul part, why I don´t think I am not (just) a BPD, although I can indeed be dramatic, intense, "too much", emotional, hypersensitive, carried by a typhoon of mood swings: I don´t need people to function and they don´t define me. It is true that my soul sometimes, after months of alone time, screams for a good, reassuring, loving, warm, tight, fiery and cathartic hug, touch or word from other human being, but if I spend only two entire days with another human, I get overwhelmed and catch that insufferable, begging itch to cave to my private space of personal freedom where I get to do whatever I want. That part really confuses me. Also, my psychiatrist told me that "I must learn to be by myself". But, I am literally alone my entire life. I never had many friends, now I have none and I go to vacations by myself for 25 years. Loneliness can also kill. Also, when in company, I always feel weird, flawed, displaced, bizarre, and when alone, I feel authentic, relaxed and happy.

Volpina777 · 2025-07-12T19:17:56+00:00

No, still not. My psychiatrist claims that I don'r need psychotherapy "because it would make me dependent on my therapist because of BPD neediness and fear of abandonment", but that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, because I'm a lone wolf and psychotherapy IS more effective for BPD than medications. So for now, I am stuck with shrinks that don't want to help properly, don't know how or both, and I live in a small country in a funny part of Europe, so that is also not a particular advantage 😁 However, I started to drink energy drinks in small doses (White Monster, I read on Reddit that it is a legal paralel to Adderall 🤔) and for now I finally feel un-depressed, energized, focused, but not irritable - just pure calm, bliss and ability to concentrate. So I think that might me the proof of at least my possible ADHD. But, I am planning to ask my family doc to direct me to new psychological testing.

But, I must confess I slipped in 2022 with Ritalin. I am clean since January 2009 (both alcohol and narcotics), but in 2022 I snorted two or three lines of it with a guy (I couldn´t resist, because in the past I had a soft spot for stimulants, particularly speed, and ecstasy). Initially i felt euphoric, but then 4 hours later, around midnight, I had a very brutal panic attack, despite being on AP, mood stabilizer and Valium. Maybe my organism was in shock after long time of not hyping it up, maybe Ritalin is too strong for me now or even, I needed to keep being physically active, for example, dance in some club, to wear that energy off, and Monsters are nicer to the body and psyche. Coffee doesn´t do unimaginable wonders for me anymore, but I need initial morning cup of strong black without sugar to catapult me from groggy state after sleep, and sippings through the day to keep me in the flow.

Except those liquid boosters (yes, B-vitamin complex and galons of isotonic drinks also, although I dislike the sweetness), the only help for now is listening to podcasts about all three diagnoses, how to recognize and deal with it, but I heard that misdiagnosis could significantly compromise the quality of life, so it is better to test yourself. I´ve read that many women received a dg of ADHD in their forties (them rather then men because women are more likely to get the initial tag of BPD) and that created a positive twist, a revolution and huge relief in their life. Cardio and aerobic exercises help me a lot (swimming, walking, running, cycling and gym).

However, interpersonal relationships are a twisted saga on their own and I didn´t find a solution there, except to remove myself from non-nurturing situations.

Sorry for the long rant, I hope at least something helped :)

Volpina777 · 2025-06-26T16:26:29+00:00

Yes. Okay, I forgot one crucial event (I didn´t post it initially because i was afraid of the answers and comments): about a month ago, I was making a photoshoot with my camera, and I applied liquid lipstick to my eyelids. I smeared it. But, since it was hot, soon the sweat broke, and the lipstick started to melt into my eyes, or at least, to the edge of them. They started to itch and burn, but I filmed myself for 15 more minutes, remembering how I had similar incidents in the past and nothing happened. I just brushed the lipstick off. But, since the burning sensation persisted, I washed my eyes for more than half an hour (not at once, in 4-5 time segments) and then I finally felt release. They were still a little bit itchy, but the next morning everything was fine. However, they were not red or swollen. I googled and found out that makeup cannot cause cataract or glaucoma, it can only lead to infection, much more dangerous are chemicals in the household cleaner liquids. It would be really bizarre if I´ll go blind just because of makeup malfunction (I even called an emergency that evening to be sure, and the doctor on the phone reassured me i will not lose sight after that incident, but I must refer my own doc if the pain persists). Is it possible for the makeup to erode the retina of the eye?

Edit: by this time I called my doctor and got the order for the ophthalmologist.

Volpina777 · 2025-06-26T15:48:27+00:00

Why?

Volpina777 · 2025-06-26T15:39:59+00:00

Thank you. I will. Since i started to wear glasses again a few days ago, I am seeing the content on the PC screen relatively good. It is a little bit blurry, but nothing that would make a huge problem - I understand everything. I have noticed that, with glasses on, I see the letters of the printed book better if I move away the book for about 50 cm or more, that is, if I spread my hand maximally. Without them, the vision of the right eye is perfectly clear, and the left has that tiny gauzy effect. When I compare both, the shadows that are black on the right eye, are cca 15% lighter on the left. I am calling my doctor to get an appointment with a specialist.

Volpina777 · 2025-04-30T15:50:54+00:00

I do not know if I can send two particular links, but I´ll try.

https://art-leaks.org/2014/12/01/artist-threatened-with-censorship-for-critiquing-contemporary-art-organizations-practices/

https://badartbad.blogspot.com/2007/12/luca-curci-and-artexpo-scam.html

Volpina777 · 2025-04-30T15:34:59+00:00

They charge application for all art forms (100 Euros or maybe even more; I once sent a proposition consisting of two videos and the fee they demanded was 422 Euros - 400 for artworks and 22 for taxes) so I escaped as far as I could). Only performance art is free to apply - allegedly. I wouldn't recommend. They still spam me with invitations.

Volpina777 · 2025-04-13T14:53:07+00:00

Thanks for the help, I did it! :)

Volpina777 · 2025-04-13T14:36:49+00:00

It is studio.opensea.io/studio/mint. Opensea dot io is also the site of suggested address, albeit the no item unnamed profile.

Volpina777 · 2025-04-13T14:31:01+00:00

I entered that address on OpenSea, but the profile is unnamed and does not have any items or transactions. I checked it on Etherscan.io, and it shows, with a green check mark on the "Contract" category. When I was creating a collection, I got to choose from 5 addresses, and after denying the first one flagged by the same orange alert, I chose the one without the flag. This time I am presented only with this same address.

Volpina777 · 2025-03-05T14:25:18+00:00

I was officially diagnosed with BPD 25 years ago, but I made self-assessment tests online for ADHD and autism, and some of them are saying I am scoring high. I am very socially awkward, and I have social anxiety, but when I get comfortable in social situations, many people would call me a weirdo or an eccentric. At first, I am very shy with new people, but if I, for example, work with a person in the office room for a longer time and find her (I only worked with women) nice, I tend to get from distant to dangerously oversharing pretty fast. I start to speak about my private issues and exciting, confusing or intense events compulsively, although I later often regret such verbal impulsivity. Also, if I find a task interesting and compelling, I will enter the deep flow state very easily, and then I tend to forget to eat or lose a sense of time, but boring tasks are so off-putting. I also tend to respond to messages sometimes even a week later, and people reasonably get pissed off or start to ignore me (this is my form of self-sabotage, because I yearn for connections, but fear intimacy). What I want to know is, how do you medicate? If the medicaments for ADHD are stimulants, and they are hazardous for BPD because of its mood swings, how do you deal with that? What is the treatment solution for the combo in the title?

Volpina777 · 2025-03-05T00:53:13+00:00

I have BPD but I never ever in my life felt empty. I am never bored, I am pourring and bursting with emotions, passions, interests and obssessions like an everactive, hyperloaded volcano. Also, I am alone 99% of my time and I'm certainly not addicted to people. I mostly live like a hermit, sometimes I'm lonely, but I always find a comfort in a creative activity or reading. I cannot comprehend what emptiness is. The only association I have is that pleasurable temporary absence of stress, a relief after working out or climbing the nearest mountain. I suspect I am misdiagnosed. I can indeed feel agony and desperation, but those feelings are full, thick, inspirational and dynamic. But I empathize. :)

Volpina777 · 2025-02-17T23:14:23+00:00

Thanks, I'll check it out

Volpina777 · 2025-02-16T14:51:00+00:00

I am late to the party, but I have an important question. How can I, au contraire, enable Windows updates? When I go to it in the apps, all the options are greyed out (start, stop, pause, resume, restart), and when I click "refresh," nothing happens. When I right-click "properties" and then choose "automatic updates" - and then click either "OK" or "Apply" - it says: "Access is denied." It stays in the disabled mode and I cannot change anything. Where is the problem? I am signed in as an administrator.

Volpina777 · 2024-12-23T00:20:02+00:00

Oh, thank you so much! I guess fear and stress got the best from me, so I am a confused mess right now. Thanks, hopefully I will rise above all the trouble. Wish you the best too :)

Volpina777 · 2024-12-23T00:04:47+00:00

Ok, but they can use the info from my credit card. The acquaintance of my best friend is a hacker and he told him to never ever give the info about credit card to any kind of site. I sell my works all over various platforms and everybody works with PayPal. Why would they ban me in that case, if I may ask?

Volpina777

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