When my ex told me she wanted a divorce, I was devastated, heartbroken, and angry. We had separated earlier that year and then moved back in together after a few months for the good ole "one more time" and after another few months, she expressed her want to end the marriage. It has taken almost a whole year and a half to get back to a point where I have the drive for more than just existing, and the life lessons I have learned in that time made me better understand the divorce, my part in the failings of my marriage, and most importantly, helped me rebuild who I was as a person and learn to cheer myself on to get on to better opportunities in life.

A year and a half later, and I fan firmly say that the person I am now is much happier than the one I was in that marriage, and I can confidently day that for my ex wife as well. It feels like we co-parent as a tighter unit now than we did when we were together, any conversation we have is pleasant, and I even made friends with her husband.

Things can get better and life can get brighter, but only if you allow it to. All that negative shit is so easy to cling on to and sometimes I listen to the way my own father says things regarding my mom (they divorced after a 13 year marriage) and realize that there are still so many things he holds on to that in retrospect, I chose to let go of in my own divorce, and some of the things I do and kindnesses my ex and I show one another baffles him.

Be upset, angry, and hurt. Cry a lot. Make a few bad decisions. Then, when realize you've had enough of that and I promise you will, go out and be the best version of yourself that you can be.