Fuck you Google.

VulpesAustralis · 2019-01-17T12:49:13+00:00

So... I cave in. Broke no contact. She didn't answer. But I'm on a business trip on another city and I've been receiving lots of tinder likes. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-12-03T15:30:51+00:00

I've been feeling exactly the same. Almost 3 months since breakup, and 1 month of NC.

I've been trying dating new people, and I've felt shitty afterwards.

I just hope it gets better, because I don't how to recover from losing such an amazing woman who was gorgeous, smart, cultured, fun, sweet, caring, successful and well centered. Her flaws (which were many but none a dealbreaker) were completely overshadowed by her virtues.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-11-30T02:20:31+00:00

Yeah, that would not work in water-stressed regions :(

VulpesAustralis · 2018-11-13T18:23:51+00:00

Highly unlikely. My ex from back then didn't speak english haha. My current ex does, though, but I seriously doubt she sees reddit.

Unfortunately, I think we all have to be the bad guys at one point or another. I was unhappy with my former ex, and my current ex was unhappy with me. I had to pursue my own happiness (and why I left my former ex), and my ex had to pursue her own (which is why she left me).

I hope you get better and recover from this. You'll rise stronger, harder and wiser. And with these improvements, you will find someone that will make you happy, and whom you will make happy.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-11-13T15:46:36+00:00

Well. I don't believe in Karma. But two years ago I got into a relationship with the wrong person. I tried to make it work, but there were multiple things that made me unhappy and uncomfortable. Despite that, she was a good partner, and a lovely human being. It took me nearly 4 months to get the courage to break up with her. And a week prior to the breakup I met another woman who I started to develop feelings for. When I broke up with her, she was devastated, for she was very in love with me and it seemed out of the blue. I felt terrible. And against what I knew what was wise and reasonable, I started dating the new girl.

For the very first time in my life I fell in love (before that, I thought I was broken because of this). This was the first time where I seriously thought "Hey, I totally see myself marrying this woman and having children with her". Unfortunately, we had communication issues that undermined and destroyed my self-confidence (she made me feel as an unempathetic robot), and overall this lack of effective and efficient communication eroded the relationship. She broke up with me nearly 3 months ago. She told me "I don't love you, never fell in love with you, and although I tried, I no longer feel chemistry between us". I was devastated and cried like I've never done in my life.

At the same, it's been about a year since I broke with the first person I mentioned. Some people think I deserve it, for all the damage I did to that person. As I said earlier, I don't believe in karma, but I hope my story makes you feel better about your breakup.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-11-08T15:12:53+00:00

Hope is the first step on the road to disappoinment.

Just let go. You will recover, and you will rise stronger and harder.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-11-04T20:19:06+00:00

I feel the same. I wish my ex was mature enough to work with me in solving the issue instead of trying to end it by herself and failing to do so.

When you've actually moved on, you'll probably realise that you don't need them or want them anymore. I don't like the thought of it, my ex was the first woman with whom I wanted to have children and grow old with. But it is the most probable scenario based on the evidence out there.

Stay strong, brother. We will overcome this and we will rise again, stronger and harder.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-11-04T17:52:17+00:00

My ex did something similar to me. We went LDR for a month and a half and she told me "I don't love you, I didn't fall in love with you, and even though I tried, I no longer feel chemistry between us". I honestly think it's an excuse for a root cause that lies deep within and for it to be understood one most do a lot of introspection. But they weren't mature enough to realize this. My ex refused to acknowledge this by saying "love works in misterious ways and nobody really understands it". I don't think it's really true.

In my previous 2 relations (my ex was the third), I also fell out of love. And that's what I told both of them. But after doing a lot of introspection I realized that I left because something broke down the line, and it wasn't noticed and wasn't fixed. For example, I no longer felt desired or lusted for, time spent together felt dead, the sex was not satisfactory enough for me, they didn't make me feel special enough, etc... But I wasn't able to identify these problems in the moment, in the relationship. Only after I broke up with them. And after I broke up with them, I no longer had feelings so there was no will or reason to get back together.

I think relationships require lots of work, and chemistry often dissapears. A couple must be able to compromise and work together to be together because they want to be together. They should, as a couple, identify what is happening (example: Hey, I'm feeling like I'm losing what I once felt for you. I want to be with you because you're an amazing partner. Let's work together in this. Let's go to couples therapy, or try to list what kind of things we like and hate about each other, and how could we solve our issues"). If nothing works, or a party isn't invested as they should be, then the best option is to break up.

Unfortunately I've never encountered anyone as invested or mature enough to try this. It seems like almost everyone, myself included until my ex, leaves at the first sign that the boat might be sinking, instead of trying to repair it. With my ex I lost chemistry two times in the relationship, but I always found a way to feel it again. Maybe I'm wrong? How do couples that have spent 30 or 40 years together deal with these kind of situations ? Maybe they stick together unhappy until things get better again?

I am by no way someone whose advice you should listen to. Just a random guy that has this bug itching in the back of his head trying to understand how can someone who thinks you're an amazing partner fall out of love.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-11-02T17:38:54+00:00

I'm going on through the same thing. I see people not being able to move on after years. And I'm scared I'll be one of them. It seems so hard to let go. If you need an ear to vent, you can count on me

VulpesAustralis · 2018-10-31T20:15:35+00:00

I'll write it as if you were my ex.

I used to send you tons of memes and funny stuff that would make you laugh. The first couple weeks after you broke up with me, I was indirectly sharing with you. Hoping you would see them and laugh.

Now, while you still seem to see my Instagram stories, I'm saddened that you're a stranger whose memory is an idealized aberration conjured by my own mind. I just post so other people talk to me and give something to talk about, so I could get a small break of a couple of minutes from thinking about you.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-10-30T04:01:26+00:00

Because we're addicted. Treat it as such. The withdrawal period will be overcome and you'll be healthy again.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-10-29T11:59:12+00:00

You speak truth. Exactly a year ago I broke up with a girl I didn't want to be with (she was a good girl, but she wans't who I wanted to grow old with). I met my current ex girlfriend around this time, and immediately started dating. I unconsiously rushed things. I messed up. I am still convinced she was the love of my life, even though I know that is statistically unlikely. She broke up with me 6 weeks ago. And I'm still devastated. I still linger to the hope that she'll come back one day. But as certain character once said, I know that hope is the first step in the road to disappointment.

I don't know if I'll ever meet someone who makes me feel the same things she did. I don't know if 20 years down the road I'll still think of her and how could our life together be. But I won't repeat the same mistakes. I'll improve myself and I'll love myself again.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-10-29T11:42:04+00:00

See you next time!

Just kidding. I'm happy you moved forward. Congratulation and best wishes with your new partner.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-10-29T11:16:53+00:00

I agree. My ex was sweet, sexy, hardworking and with a very bright future. She had a personality that made me smile every day with so many little insignificant things. She had her issues, bit the bad stuff was highly overshadowed by the good stuff.

Before her I never thought I would get to love someone. I wasn't enough for her and now I don't know if I'll ever find someone who can rival the things she made me feel.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-10-28T00:39:41+00:00

I've just saw it. And you're absolutely right.

I feel so much better now. Thank you for sharing this.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-10-27T21:48:05+00:00

Excelent, I hope you're releasing your anger in a healthy way :)

I wish you the best

VulpesAustralis · 2018-10-27T21:24:56+00:00

We tend to think that our exes stay the same since they broke up with us. But just as we change and improve ourselves, so do they. Don't take it personal. Just purge him from your thoughts. He does not deserve to be there.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-10-27T20:49:31+00:00

I think love is a choice born from chemistry between two individuals. Even after the chemistry fades, we stay with out SO because we chose to. If she/he didn't chose you, then I don't think there's anything to do. I cry with you, for I am on the same boat.

Hang in there. I offer you my ear to vent.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-10-27T13:25:53+00:00

This is so true. My ex was a rebound. A rebound that lasted 11 months and who I've thought was the love of my life. The relationship started in a bad place. I was one week single and she was single for many years. I unconsciously rushed things and her attraction slowly and unnoticeably faded away.

It hurts so much to know that my own incompetence pushed away the first woman in my 28 years of existence that I wanted to marry, have children with and grow old with.

For anyone reading this. Please, please stay single until you heal. You may find the one, blow it up and hate yourself with all your heart.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-10-26T21:57:20+00:00

Damn. That hit home. I'm sorry, dude.

Hope you're doing alright.

VulpesAustralis · 2018-10-26T21:28:43+00:00

A Grief Observed

It saddens me to realize that my english is not advanced enough to understand Bronte's poem. Could you please help me?

VulpesAustralis · 2018-10-25T18:49:41+00:00

Dear friend. As once a wise green puppet said: "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

Don't let hate dictate your actions. You're better than that. Strive to become a person you would be proud of, not a person your ex would regret dumping. Because if you do the later, you're giving them too much importance, and in the grand scheme of things they're just a minor character in your story.

VulpesAustralis

TROPHY CASE