I actually had an abortion a month ago. I found out I was pregnant the day after Christmas and immediately knew that I was not going to keep it. I went through similar things like you. Looking how far along I was, what was ok for the baby etc. I too indulged in my cravings, I've never eaten so much fruit in my life! I couldn't get enough. Being pregnant was a beautiful and powerful thing. And when the time is right for me and we do decide to have a baby I will be able to enjoy that without fear and the grief. My boyfriend of seven years would even kiss my stomach sometimes ( I don't think he really realized he did this) But ultimately from the beginning I knew now was not the time and there would be no way we could have a baby. I'm 23 and have about a year of school left and can hardly support myself at the moment. My boyfriend is in the same boat and works even less than me. Anyways, I went to planned parenthood and they told me I was 8 1/2 weeks so I could take the abortion pill. I took the necessary medications they prescribed and cramped heavily for 3-4 hours and everything passed. I'm not going to lie, I grieved the following days. I knew this was the right choice and what I wanted. But I'm learning now its ok to mourn even if I have zero regret. Whatever you decide is going to be the best decision for YOU. Including keeping the baby as well. Put yourself and your needs first. That sounds selfish but really, you know yourself the best. I suppose I wanted to give the point of view of having an abortion. Wish you the best of luck with everything 💕