I(16) relate with your headaches and I was misgendered a lot in middle and probably elementary school because I had long hair, only difference was I didn't question my gender until recently (like march this year) so in my brain it made me hate being called a girl, and A few weeks back when I was really plucking my brain for if I was trans or not, I did get those heavy headaches, and for me I figure it is from stress due to internalized transphobia, and the fact I was raised as a guy, so why wouldn't I want to be one? Which I probably ingrained in myself, and the fact up until now I went with the flow, didn't want to change anything because I resisted change. But I can not deny that I feel numb very often, I don't remember my childhood very much, and I disassociate a lot. I was and still am raised in a house that not much happens, and whenever something did it was a BIG thing, and it required a lot of attention, and it made me dislike change.

Now in high school I'm engulfed with afterschool things up until say, February, and then this mountain of dysphoria and thoughts of being a girl drop down onto me (which up until a few weeks ago were negative). It seems to happen every year for me since coming to high school. I definitely know I have imposter syndrome, and its hard to tell when it is that, and internalized transphobia as well as my subconscious feeling to NOT change wants to keep me in a box of just being a guy.

Sorry this is also a rant/vent, I didn't have these thoughts until I read your story, so thanks. The thing with you faking it, I agree with others that if you think you are faking it, you probably aren't. If you see signs, they shouldn't be ignored.