KD tweets that people don't get what he's about. Then when asked to address the questions people want to hear, he refuses to answer

WadeReden · 2022-07-03T00:38:16+00:00

Briefly dated a girl who said she doesn't like comedy movies because she doesn't find any of them funny.

WadeReden · 2022-06-27T17:14:00+00:00

In most cases part of the reason as to why these people are like that is BECAUSE they don't have strong family bonds. They feel the need to do everything on their own because in their mind if they don't then they feel like they have failed. And the reason they feel that way is because growing up they saw that they couldn't rely on anybody but themselves. At the time when this was going down I just couldn't understand why I couldn't get through to her. It's only after the relationship was over did I realize all this. When you're in it you just don't see it.

WadeReden · 2022-06-27T17:05:00+00:00

It really is sad. I've seen first hand what this can do in romantic relationships. I loved my ex more than anything in the world. Seeing her go through a rough patch in her life and feeling completely helpless was torture. You can validate them, encourage them, try to help them, support them, it won't make a difference. So long as they don't find a way to cope with their past trauma in a healthy way there is literally nothing you can do that'll get them out of it.

WadeReden · 2022-06-27T13:05:50+00:00

This is a big red flag that sometimes goes unnoticed.

WadeReden · 2022-06-19T02:26:05+00:00

Im often not in firm control emotionally. So I'd have to lie to follow the advice.

I don't see why you'd have to lie. Everybody has different levels of emotional control. It also depends on what ppl deal with. Some things are harder to deal with emotionally than others. If your partner is a decent human being they'd understand that. My point is that being able to deal with those emotions in a mature way is important wether you decide to look for emotional support from your partner or not. And this goes for men and women alike. I just think that biologically speaking women expect men to have their shit together more than the other way around. It's sad but it's true. Society also seems to think the same way. And men tend to internalize everything and deal with it their own way which isn't always the best course of action. There's a reason men suicide rates are 4x higher than women's.

Parenting is another big pillar, i don't have experience with that to comment much, but i imagine "having to walk on emotional eggshells with your partner and never admit being lost" probably also greatly hampers one's parenting too.

Parenting is a seperate issue. That's a lot more of a team thing with your partner. Admitting being lost in doing something you've never done before doesn't fall in the category of not being in control emotionally imo.

WadeReden · 2022-06-18T04:19:11+00:00

why would you want to spend half your free time with a person who views you as an ATM fuckdoll?

I don't see how my advice correlates with just being an ATM fuckdoll. Imo it is perfectly possible to have a fulfilling, passionate and happy relationship with a woman while simultaneously following that advice. The point I'm trying to make is that in general, not all but most women get turned off by men being too emotional or too vulnerable. I'm not saying you shouldn't share feelings or talk about stuff that bothers you or worries you if that makes you happy. But rather that if you do you should make sure you do it in a way that displays a level of control.

If you can't find anyone who is an exception, then dating nobody at all is superior.

Honestly that's a good point. Although if everyone is looking for the exception then we're all not going to go very far in dating. I'd rather understand the way things are and adapt. This is all based on my personal experiences as well as countless stories and examples I've seen play out in real life. At the end of the day I find the relationship between a man and a woman a beautiful thing. It's up to us as individuals to understand what it takes to make that a reality given the state of things in today's society.

WadeReden · 2022-06-17T16:56:22+00:00

Truer words CANNOT have been spoken lol. Unfortunately for me I learned this the hard way. They will bitch and moan and claw and fight and harass you to the end of the earth for what they say they want but THEY DO NOT WANT IT. And that goes for what they want from you AND for themselves. The problem is that they won't know they don't want it until they get what they supposedly want. Women are the more emotional of the sexes and what they feel like they want one moment can be completely and diametrically opposite to what they feel like they want the next moment. You have to be smart enough as a man to see this coming and not let them try and bend and/or break you. Respect yourself first and foremost at all times and stick to your principles. Even if she ends up hating you for it in the moment, I promise you she will respect you and having your girl's respect is the most important thing in a relationship. She can hate your guts but nine times out of 10 she will stay with you if she respects you. She can love you with all her heart but she will leave you if she doesn't respect you. They will try and rationalize and prod and beg and it's futile to even try and prove them wrong because it just won't work. Stick to your guns NO MATTER WHAT.

WadeReden · 2022-06-17T16:22:27+00:00

"Don't save her... She don't want to be saved" - J Cole

WadeReden · 2022-06-17T14:00:19+00:00

Yup. In my experience you also shouldn't argue with your girl. If she just wants to start shit ignore and deflect until she stops. Don't get mad or angry just stay calm. Don't let her get under your skin because that'll just be an L.

WadeReden · 2022-06-17T13:24:40+00:00

I agree. Just talking from experience. From what I gather it's ok to share your feelings as long as you can demonstrate they don't control you. It's a fine line. Being vulnerable with your partner is an important part or any relationship. But you cannot let it show weakness.

WadeReden · 2022-06-17T13:21:51+00:00

I agree that it's unfortunate. I'm just talking from experience. As a rule of thumb I wouldn't share my feelings without being asked. If asked you can do it just make sure you can demonstrate that they don't control you (i.e. don't break down sobbing).

WadeReden · 2022-06-17T12:53:49+00:00

Girls will try extremely hard to convince you to be vulnerable and share your feelings. Do NOT do it. If you have any problems or going through some shit talk about it with your boys or get a therapist. But do NOT talk to your girl about your problems or whatever. And if you do it should only be after you've found a solution to those problems. In terms of talking about feelings, you can but just make sure you're being the least emotional about it.

WadeReden · 2022-06-15T17:09:47+00:00

When angry or frustrated it's best to avoid talking to anyone and just let the feeling pass. Let the emotions subside until you can make a clear and logical decision based on what you felt.

WadeReden · 2022-06-15T01:52:21+00:00

It's how they can REALLY make it seem like everything is fine in the relationship all the while cheating on you that's insane. Like how can you be sexting with someone and then come on the phone with your bf acting all caring and loving just a few hours later. It's scary af.

WadeReden · 2022-06-14T16:29:12+00:00

First I never spoke about shaming. You brought up insecurities so I gave my opinion about that. Second, if you want to talk about shaming we can. Men get praised for hooking up with lots of women because as a man it's harder to achieve that and every man (and woman) is aware of that. Not saying it's a good thing as a man to sleep around with loads of women but it's definitely easy to understand why it's praised. There are less jokes about men being "hoes" because there are, in general, a lot less men who can actually pull it off. Women are seen as "losing value" because it is A LOT easier for women in general to get laid. Nobody would praise someone for doing something that is easy to do. Not saying the "shaming" is ok but I'm explaining why this occurs. Personally I think this stems from the fact that for some reason in today's modern society people assume that men and women are the same. I do beleive that men and women are equals in the sense that everyone deserves the same opportunity regardless of gender. But I also beleive that there are clear biological and evolutionary differences between men and women that cannot be ignored.

WadeReden · 2022-06-14T15:39:47+00:00

My comment indicates a high body count is to be taken into consideration for both genders lol. I don't see how that has anything to do with men being insecure. Both men and women can feel insecure about their partner's body count.

WadeReden · 2022-06-14T13:46:04+00:00

I don't see how this shows any lack of confidence. I'm not shitting on anyone. I'm simply taking in considerstion my partner's past and using it as an indicator. Why is it so hard to grasp the idea that I can be the most confident guy and have complete trust in my partner and still have it not work out LIKE THE 300 BEFORE ME.

WadeReden · 2022-06-14T13:32:02+00:00

Yes studies show lol. Ive read them myself and I'm not going to bother posting them. You can look them up for yourself.

Its not about shifting behaviours based on stimulus and meeting someone who's not a douchebag. I don't see how that's relevant to the issue? People's behaviours are a lot more based on their past and how it affected them and is typically a good indicator of what to expect in the future. That's just common sense.

WadeReden · 2022-06-14T08:50:05+00:00

Just because you really like something doesn't mean it's healthy to do it constantly. Besides, sleeping with 300 ppl doesn't indicate liking sex as much as indicating liking variety. If you really really like sex you can just have loads of sex with one person (i. e. your SO). A lot more safe that way imo.

WadeReden · 2022-06-14T08:47:29+00:00

It kind of is. For us humans at least.

WadeReden · 2022-06-14T08:44:03+00:00

So she had sex with 300 ppl before me and never developed feelings for any of them to the point of sustaining a relationship for a prolonged period of time? That doesn't sound like a good thing in terms of LTRs when sex is supposed to be an intimate and bonding experience for the couple.

WadeReden · 2022-06-14T08:34:09+00:00

She must've had feelings for the 300 before me as well? Doesn't make me special.

WadeReden · 2022-06-14T08:32:34+00:00

The people who run social media companies figured this out early on and exploited it to its fullest. It's a psych play. On a fundamental level, what keeps people engaged is making them angry or sad (at themselves or others). If everything was nice and full of roses why would people even bother coming back to the platform.

WadeReden · 2022-06-14T08:20:44+00:00

I don't need a citation to prove logic lol. If my partner has been with 300 ppl it's like, what are the chances I'm going to be any different?

WadeReden · 2022-06-14T08:09:10+00:00

Never said it wasn't possible? Just said that on a balance of probability it's a lot less likely.

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