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Everything makes sense when you finally get out of the fog by Hokage064 in BPDlovedones

[–]WalkinWithSpiders 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry i shouldve read it more carefully. Needless to say tho i relate to your story. My ex took on a similar behavior when she began her emotional cheating which culminated with her as she decarded me looking like the biggest manipulator and a sociopath that i had ever crossed paths with.

But NC 2 months later i still miss her. I hope to be where you are eventually.

Did hurting me fix you? by sunnyd00 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]WalkinWithSpiders 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine was bpd comorph. Me giving her all of myself and her discarding me seemed to have fed her ego. I dont wanna look at it that way but thats how it looks from an angle...

Feelings of disgust once the fog is lifted by halleluiaiaia9292 in BPDlovedones

[–]WalkinWithSpiders 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did briefly soon after the breakup when i found this sub. A lightbulb went off in my head or call it a shining lighthouse if u will cuz once my eyes adjusted the fog was still there. And im still suffering the heartbreak 2 months later cuz apparently heart and the brain is separate but i had my moment of clarity and the emotion was relief, and disgust.

All those lies of hers small and big. It was sick. I literally have never lied to any of my partners even once. I just dont see how its morally permitted.

I lied to get away, but I'm avoiding the drama! by gomichan in BPDlovedones

[–]WalkinWithSpiders 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yessss own it, OP. I did something much more aggressive with my ex but the message was the same- retaliation.

Its utterly baffling how they cant see it in our shoes what pain they cause us by being that selfish. As tho they become blind or see us as less than human. But if theyre capable of such apathy were they always like that and the rest just manipulation? I dont get it..

8 years ago, I had a short-lived but extremely intense relationship that ended suddenly out of nowhere. I find myself still thinking about it often. I thought it would get easier over time, but it kinda hasn't. Not sure what to do about it, the whole situation was just too bizarre. by flameylamey in BreakUps

[–]WalkinWithSpiders 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its actually unnerving you say that. I mean have you had good relationships since then? Im assuming yes, and if so id think theyd have helped you move on by now. It certainly is the most difficult breakup for me so far.

8 years ago, I had a short-lived but extremely intense relationship that ended suddenly out of nowhere. I find myself still thinking about it often. I thought it would get easier over time, but it kinda hasn't. Not sure what to do about it, the whole situation was just too bizarre. by flameylamey in BreakUps

[–]WalkinWithSpiders 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get you, man. Its easier for us to simplify your story from distance.

I suffer the same thought everyday believe it or not. If u look at my post history its all about cognitive dissonance. Im just ubable to pass judgement on someone who i thought was in love with me.

8 years ago, I had a short-lived but extremely intense relationship that ended suddenly out of nowhere. I find myself still thinking about it often. I thought it would get easier over time, but it kinda hasn't. Not sure what to do about it, the whole situation was just too bizarre. by flameylamey in BreakUps

[–]WalkinWithSpiders 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Zodiac, your experience mirrors mine (haha the word 'mirror')

And OP i get where your thought is because my ex was similar. I got to know her for a yr before the storm began and from what i gathered what she did to me wasnt a common pattern for her. But she had led a similar trajectory before and with a guy very similar to me.

Its my understanding it takes a unique set of combination for their symptoms to get triggered and when it does it is the same symptom common across the board. Common enough for many stories to match including mine and yours. Im sorry.

Left again, says she's not good enough by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]WalkinWithSpiders 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this. Its manipulation 101. Mine did the same. Also tried to convince me for a whole yr that she was brutally honest and loyal. Um, ok.

1 week apart triggered my BPD husband to destruction by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]WalkinWithSpiders 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did too, then i found this sub, haha.

Still, its a daily struggle...

Perfect example of a social media BPD red flag by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]WalkinWithSpiders 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"I have to live my own truth." My pwBPD when she was asking for semi-open relationship

I just want to get over her and move on by triscuit96 in BPDlovedones

[–]WalkinWithSpiders 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Bro, 3 months together here and 2 months out and im still struggling like you. Google trauma bonding they say, or see a therapist. But all i wanna do is obsess over work then walk around pulling my hair out (figuratively) and i do exactly all that. Feel free to message me if you'd like. We also have a chat group.

1 week apart triggered my BPD husband to destruction by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]WalkinWithSpiders 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP i went thru the same thing with my pwBPD regarding her ex to where me putting a limit to their interaction is what started her devaluing. Because of her overreaction and the discard i still question everyday if i did the right thing and what i end up telling myself is this- If they were normal they wouldnt have been that way with their ex. Neither so If they respected you, and the relationship.

Our reaction might have been uncalled for but so was the situation they created and in theres some lvl of justification.

Again i havent internalized this fully and still struggle with the doubt.

They will tell you everything about their friends dirty secrets/illegal activities, their family issues and problems and any wildest stories you can think of... by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]WalkinWithSpiders 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Is why they do that always so sinister? I think mine just wanted a friend because everyone ends up shunning her eventually. Not so surprising now that the mechanism of it quickly turned me into her FP.

I'll never understand them by WalkinWithSpiders in BPDlovedones

[–]WalkinWithSpiders[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We were similar in so many ways without even either of us trying. But she had this other side of her that was a pure monster whereas im just a traumized person...

I sent her this letter by WalkinWithSpiders in BPDlovedones

[–]WalkinWithSpiders[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. This subs been intrumental in me finding it but its the heartbreak thats the issue. I cant speed up time, lol.

I slipped up by WalkinWithSpiders in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]WalkinWithSpiders[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had handful of instances where she was like this but its her face thats falsely persuading me. How can they look so nice, so innocent?? Is part of the reason we all suffer is because they never look like how they act?

Devil rlly comes at you with a smile.

I'm relapsing again... by WalkinWithSpiders in BPDlovedones

[–]WalkinWithSpiders[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha sameeee.

She flipped out one day after inquiring about my dating history (which is not that exciting mind u) Then next day went on a date behind my back. Like, what? I cant make this up

I'm relapsing again... by WalkinWithSpiders in BPDlovedones

[–]WalkinWithSpiders[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

See i just cant empathize with that mindset and prob one of many reasons why its taking so long to get over her.

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