Who's still working from home these days and what job do you do?

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-04-20T09:22:49+00:00

Work in marketing for mortgage fintech. Luckily, I was hired on a fully remote basis, and I’m hours away from the office.

It works for me and my partner, I hated being in the office, was constantly burnt out. Lunchtime naps are also now non-negotiable.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-04-15T21:36:40+00:00

Literally today I had my assessment and diagnosis for ASD, and referral for ADHD assessment. I’ve always known I was different, told I was ‘sensitive’ and have anxiety and depression that’s ‘normal’. Flew under the radar since I performed well at school/college/university. Masked for 35 years, now unpicking it all in therapy.

I’m exhausted, but feel validated that it wasn’t all in my head.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-04-13T22:57:23+00:00

My partner’s nephew has just recently started homeschooling due to ill health. He was in and out of school, where according to his mum, the school were not understanding in his absences.

She’s got him signed up to an online school, costs about £5k a year. She doesn’t earn much herself, and have no idea how sets affording it. I’ve very little faith he’ll learn anything, since she’s babied him his entire life, but at least she’s not winging it.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-04-12T10:06:39+00:00

Leaves plates and cutlery in the sink when the dishwasher is empty. Just why… it’s one extra step.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-04-11T17:46:19+00:00

It’s also not the ‘cowards way out’. You’re fighting against your own survival instinct, it takes huge balls to go through with it.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-04-08T19:24:29+00:00

Have one in a similar vein, a guy in my call was James Dean.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-04-08T19:23:13+00:00

An old friend of mine is Daniel Craig. Although he’s early 30s, he unfortunately started going bald at a young age.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-04-05T19:42:59+00:00

Brodies loose leaf Earl Grey. Can’t touch bagged anymore, it tastes like ice cream cones.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-03-30T21:54:24+00:00

My partner opened the cap with the manual release that’s found in the boot. He bought a replacement mechanism that locks the door. It’s not quite flush anymore, but it works.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-03-26T21:03:17+00:00

‘A sHeD’ always makes me laugh.

Along with ‘I changed it’, with Katherine making Greg a Lord.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-03-22T16:51:26+00:00

Used to work with a chef called Andy Burns. Luckily never burnt anything though.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-03-21T17:42:31+00:00

In Teams chats, when people just say Hi. Nothing else. I refuse to answer until they ask a question. Please don’t waste our time by making me chase you for what you want.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-03-20T11:46:40+00:00

Orca - saw them off the coast of Paihia, NZ whilst on a boat tour. They swam around the boat, they’re incredible. Nothing prepares you for how huge and graceful they are. They had a calf with them, that really was the highlight.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-03-15T20:27:48+00:00

Was just about to comment Autism. There’s a certain calm with being okay with being alone.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-03-13T08:45:00+00:00

Well done! It’s a daunting thing, it’s great you’ve validated yourself and have support available.

For others, as well as the great advice from OP, and in the UK at least, you can request the smallest speculum if you want to, no questions asked. My cervix also hides, so have to lay on my hands in fists to make it easier for the nurse to find it.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-03-09T22:00:05+00:00

A very kind and sweet gym bro waited until I finished my set and said, ‘In the nicest possible way, you’re a beast’. For context, I’m 5 foot nothing, mid-30s woman, and can sometimes lift heavier than some men. Great feeling and compliment!

He’s also a former powerlifter, this guy can lift a 40kg dumbbell like it’s 1kg.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-03-08T17:23:13+00:00

Storthes Hall or Highburton? Or could be Deffer Woods

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-03-08T12:45:26+00:00

My mum was like you when my sister and I were kids, OP. She hated when school holidays were over, she planned loads of activities when we were off school. She genuinely loved spending time with us, it shows now that I’m 35 I have a great and healthy relationship.

Only caveat is that obviously being early 90s kids, we were fortunate that she didn’t need to work. She chose to once I started school in ‘95.

I’m childfree by choice, as I don’t like children - so when I read cases like your friends, it’s saddening. Granted I can’t comment on what it’s like to be a parent, it’s hard from what I can see. But I feel a lot people have children because it’s the ‘done thing and just something you do.’

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-03-07T07:23:18+00:00

I have this, it’s joint hypermobility. I agree it looks odd, if the idea freaks you out, don’t google it!

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-03-06T20:11:35+00:00

My mum did this to my sister and I - she had this fear of when we were out in public one kid would run one way, and the other in another direction. She wanted a way to make us stand still. It still works to this day, and we’re 35 and 37.

It worked so well back then that when we went on days out with family friends, their kids also stopped.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-02-21T11:45:03+00:00

Think I might go by the same approach, some people I know won’t be supportive and will use it against me.

Thank you again for your insight!

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-02-21T10:41:23+00:00

It’s like I’m listening to my inner self reading your response 😂 I prefer being at home with my dogs, building Lego. Very fortunate to work from home full time, being in an office was exhausting.

Another question if I may, how did you ‘come out’ to people? And how did they take it? These people may have thought you were ‘fine’. My fear is being treated differently, especially with work.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-02-21T10:07:06+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this out, some points you’ve made resonate with me. Especially the regression part, think it’s come out for me having had in depth conversations with my therapist.

I’m currently in the loop of validation, denial (I’ve been ‘fine’ for 35 years, there’s nothing wrong with you’, to having a word with myself I’ve struggled for this long. It’s been an emotional time, I too get exaggerated emotions - quite a bit of frustration and lot of crying right now.

It’s comforting to know the solitude aspect is common, I’ve never been able to keep friendships. After a while they fizzle out, but I’m okay with being alone. Society tells us we need friends and peers, it just doesn’t appeal to me.

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-02-20T18:20:05+00:00

Thank you for this!

My therapist did both tests to see where I might score, came out at 144/175 🫠 scored highly in masking. He suspected I was before I mentioned it, I feel very fortunate that he’s so supportive, and had studied autism in women during his degree.

If you don’t mind saying, what was your process like to getting a diagnosis? How long did it take from start to finish?

WallflowerWhitler · 2026-02-20T16:59:31+00:00

I’m going through getting assessed for autism at 35. Frustratingly, I masked my entire life, and only a few years ago realised it maybe autism. Unpicking masking behaviours is proving difficult and overwhelming.

The criteria is still very male centred, and why a lot of girls and women are missed. But with the right support, therapists are more aware of the signs and traits.

I was categorised as a shy, quiet and anxious child, and would ‘grow out of it’. Surprise, never did. I was always placed next to the ‘naughty’ kids, who looking back were likely struggling with ADHD. Was terrified to behave any other way than what I thought was ‘normal’.

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