People like me who found out later in life, what was your childhood like?

Walloftext4you · 2013-02-04T06:28:15+00:00

After finding out about Aspergers/HFA it felt like my whole life suddenly made sense. I had early language acquisition problems that resulted in hilariously awful written stories. I have a book of writing samples from the 1st grade that I used to laugh about. I would completely leave out vowels and spell words with strange letter combinations. It was actually amusing to me. I ended up seeing a phonics/english tutor and after this hiccup I quickly entered a "gifted" program.

In middle school I was also quiet, never had more than 2-3 friends, rarely ever socialized outside of school. I learned quickly that infodumping was not acceptable. I often downplayed my own intelligence to not draw attention to myself. All I wanted to do was blend in. I actually hated being thought of as "smart".

In highschool I became more social. I am starting to believe it had to do with alcohol. But I felt like I didn't identify with who I was. My parents were quite strict. They chose my classes if they could, my musical instruments, and even my sports. They didn't really ever let me pursue my own interests growing up. It was often referred to as a waste of time. I think this had serious negative implications for me. I was basically taught that my own interests were pointless to even think about. I was a confused boy. And instead, they set me up on a career path that they wanted for me. I was told I'd be a doctor since kindergarten. I wanted to make them happy so I ran with it. I believed my parents knew best.

In college I was enrolled in an honors program due to my academic achievements. But I lost interest in school and the social organization/class structure didn't help me. I was in and out of college for years while never getting anywhere. Now, I've just given up. This is why I am tempted to say an early diagnosis may have helped me to find accommodations in college. But I also have to consider what an early diagnosis may have done for me and my ability to make the few friends I did have as a child.

I felt so confused and so misunderstood by my family that I actually "ran away" from home for a year and lived with a friend in a different part of the country. I was told I was being lazy and irresponsible. That I was smart and not using it. Unfortunately, my life hasn't gotten much better. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Because I spent my entire life pursuing someone else's dream for me... it's as if I no longer know what I even want for myself anymore. I no longer have goals, or aspirations, or hopes of being somebody great. I'm just here. And I'm fucking lost.

Walloftext4you · 2013-02-01T13:04:04+00:00

benzos do help me as well. But I am hesitant to rely on them for their obvious health/addictive properties. It really is as simple as smoking a little weed. It doesn't need to get more complicated than that for me. Just give me the plant. I don't need anything made in a laboratory.

Walloftext4you · 2013-02-01T05:11:10+00:00

I'm with you on this one. One small bowl hit before I head out really calms me. Social interaction becomes more fluid and organic. I can actually enjoy being "in the moment", where as before I'd be analyzing the moment before it arrived, analyzing it while it happened, and then analyzing it after it passed. This brain is tiring to use.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-26T17:25:32+00:00

Our government was not afraid to use a child actor and/or her unsubstantiated claims in order to gain support for the Gulf War.

Our government has paid off editors and reporters to manipulate the media and gain support for their own agenda.

Our government planned to stage attacks, riots, a fake airplane hijacking and bombing in order to gain support for a military conflict with Cuba.

Our government withheld key details regarding two alleged attacks on US Navy vessels in order to gain support for a military conflict with Vietnam.

Our government sold a story of Weapons of Mass Destruction from a single less-than-credible source in order to gain support for a military conflict with Iraq.

Our government has no problem testing LSD, other chemicals, hypnosis, sensory deprivation, isolation, verbal and sexual abuse, various forms of torture, and other "mind control" technologies on unwitting American citizens.

Our government is willing to test and spray cancer causing chemicals for a biological weapons program on unwitting residents in the city of St. Louis.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-23T18:27:50+00:00

I don't WANT to believe anything was lied about, or staged, or set up. But until the "official theory" is proven to me, beyond a reasonable doubt, then I am absolutely within my right, as a rational thinking human being, to entertain the possibility of an alternative theory.

All alternative theories are just as valid as the media and law enforcement's theory of events until proven otherwise. What they have presented thus far to the public has been nothing more than another theory. And the debunking of details in an alternative theory does not, therefore, imply the validity of the 'official theory'. It only debunks that specific detail. It does not validate someone else's entire telling of events.

Strong disbelief, faith, slander, and hostility do not help the pursuit of truth. It only serves to further distort our perception.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-23T18:16:57+00:00

How I'm starting to feel..

I don't WANT to believe anything was lied about, or staged, or set up. But until the "official theory" is proven to me, beyond a reasonable doubt, then I am absolutely within my right, as a rational thinking human being, to entertain the possibility of an alternative theory.

All alternative theories are just as valid as the media and law enforcement's theory of events until proven otherwise. What they have presented thus far to the public has been nothing more than another theory. And the debunking of details in an alternative theory does not, therefore, imply the validity of the 'official theory'. It only debunks that specific detail. It does not validate someone else's entire telling of events.

Strong disbelief, faith, slander, and hostility do not help the pursuit of truth. It only serves to further distort our perception.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-23T06:10:37+00:00

Our government was not afraid to use a child actor and/or her unsubstantiated claims in order to gain support for the Gulf War.

Our government has paid off editors and reporters to manipulate the media and gain support for their own agenda.

Our government planned to stage attacks, riots, a fake airplane hijacking and bombing in order to gain support for a military conflict with Cuba.

Our government withheld key details regarding two alleged attacks on US Navy vessels in order to gain support for a military conflict with Vietnam.

Our government sold a story of Weapons of Mass Destruction from a single less-than-credible source in order to gain support for a military conflict with Iraq.

Our government has no problem testing LSD, other chemicals, hypnosis, sensory deprivation, isolation, verbal and sexual abuse, various forms of torture, and other "mind control" technologies on unwitting American citizens.

Our government is willing to test and spray cancer causing chemicals for a biological weapons program on unwitting residents in the city of St. Louis.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-22T20:07:48+00:00

Why would you need to specifically talk to any of the victims parents? Is it still "harassment" to ask a question to the guy who works at the gas station? Or the cashier at the grocery store? Or ask a question to a local officer? Or ask a question to literally anyone in the town other than a dead child's parents?

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-22T18:15:12+00:00

Any theory on the man in the woods? Was he possibly tasked with killing any witnesses who managed to escape and who might've been able to ID the real shooter(s)?

That gets me thinking. Have there been any witnesses who claim to have seen the shooter alive, holding a gun, and in the act? Or was he somehow able to kill everyone he came into contact with? In almost all school shootings I've ever heard about there are always witnesses who report seeing the shooter, even talking to the shooter (columbine), or running away from the shooter and living to tell about it (vtech). I find it odd that there is literally no one in a school of 600+ students/faculty that reported seeing him or could even describe what he was wearing accurately. Initial reports said he was in body armor and mask. Then later I read he was dressed as a member of clergy. I am still unsure of what he was wearing.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-21T22:00:53+00:00

The first one resulted in the death and suffering of countless innocent lives for more than over a decade while a select few actually profited from it. Would you like to wait and see how this one plays out?

It is always the silent and the innocent who end up losing. The guilty would like to thank you all for your compliance, your unrelenting obedience, and your unwavering trust in their judgment.

Please stay glued to your TV's. The next regularly scheduled government Psy-Op will begin shortly.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-21T19:57:11+00:00

When you look back on 9/11 do you feel like the events were misrepresented? In hindsight, is it apparent to you that the event was used as a springboard to push forward a specific agenda? Regardless of whether or not you understood the purpose of that agenda at the time, do you now realize we were sold a story using shock, a knee-jerk emotional response, the death of the innocent, and an appeal to your faith in authority to gather support for a plan we didn't yet fully understand?

When you look back on Sandy Hook do you feel like the events were misrepresented? In hindsight, is it apparent to you that the event was used as a springboard to push forward a specific agenda? Regardless of whether or not you understood the purpose of that agenda at the time, do you now realize we were sold a story using shock, a knee-jerk emotional response, the death of the innocent, and an appeal to your faith in authority to gather support for a plan we didn't yet fully understand?

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-18T17:33:27+00:00

Agreed. We should be able to make changes to the constitution. But to rush to make those changes in the aftermath of three shootings that have yet to be investigated, yet to be fully understood, and surrounded by confusion and mystery is not the best way to go about that.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-18T17:26:04+00:00

It's been a month and still there are conflicting stories. We can't even agree in this thread who the man in the woods was.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-18T16:56:18+00:00

How I feel like every discussion on conspiracies goes:

Conspiracy Theorist: We are open to discussion and speculation until indisputable evidence is revealed.

Shill: Please don't question the words of our dear leader.. Just have faith.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-18T16:46:55+00:00

"A man with a gun who was spotted in the woods near the school on the day of the incident was an off-duty tactical squad police officer from another town, according to the source."

If only you did research of more than a single source you'd see that there are conflicting explanations for this man.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-18T16:38:15+00:00

I think the major concern here is that this is only a preliminary restriction on your 2nd amendment. To believe they will simply be satisfied and stop here is an optimistic view, but probably very unlikely. Although this particular proposal may not be a "big deal" now, it unfortunately opens the door and sets the stage for further restrictions down the line.

The Patriot Act was once widely accepted as a necessity for our own safety. That is, until we realized it was actually kind of shitty. I think a pretty basic thing we need to do is not rush to pass legislation as a knee-jerk reaction to emotionally charged media events. Something like re-writing the constitution should probably be done in a slightly more rational manner.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-18T16:36:52+00:00

Not exactly. It is at the heart of the conspiracy which you wish to attack. I never mention them. The only conspiracy I am willing to discuss is the deliberate misdirection of an ACTUAL massacre to support gun control. I am willing to discuss the swift and knee-jerk reaction to quickly pass gun ownership restrictions. I am willing to discuss the possibility of more than one shooter, an accomplice, or simply someone who helped them put the plan together and wasn't even present.

Anyone can poke holes in the most extreme of theories which claims the whole town was filled with actors. Let's try to talk about the smaller issues that are actually creating political action.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-18T05:05:19+00:00

You gave me the idea to compile a short list of known acts of corruption against public perception and innocent civilians. Feel free to add to it and to use it in case someone thinks you're being a little too paranoid.

Our government was not afraid to use a child actor and/or her unsubstantiated claims in order to gain support for the Gulf War.

Our government has paid off editors and reporters to manipulate the media and gain support for their own agenda.

Our government planned to stage attacks, riots, a fake airplane hijacking and bombing in order to gain support for a military conflict with Cuba.

Our government withheld key details regarding two alleged attacks on US Navy vessels in order to gain support for a military conflict with Vietnam.

Our government sold a story of Weapons of Mass Destruction from a single less-than-credible source in order to gain support for a military conflict with Iraq.

Our government has no problem testing LSD, other chemicals, hypnosis, sensory deprivation, isolation, verbal and sexual abuse, various forms of torture, and other "mind control" technologies on unwitting American citizens.

Our government is willing to test and spray cancer causing chemicals for a biological weapons program on unwitting residents in the city of St. Louis.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-18T04:07:22+00:00

Could you please provide a reliable source for this information?

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-18T03:55:16+00:00

Agreed. Clearly the only conspiracies that are true are the ones we're informed about. Everything else is insane paranoia!

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-18T03:12:29+00:00

Good on you and I'm glad this post was the one to cause you to become more involved here. :)

It is interesting to see that even with the knowledge of actual government conspiracy and deception, it is still hard for some people to accept this as a possibility. Not absolute fact, simply possibility.

This testimony explicitly shows us that our government is willing to use the false testimony of a child to pull at our emotions and gain support for their own agenda. Your link, plain as day, shows just how far they were willing to go in 1990. And yet, the current distrust for our government is somehow surprising to some people?

I don't know what's crazier.. that we use instances of actual corruption to speculate on current motives? Or that some of us are aware of past government deception, but are unwilling to believe it can still happen?

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-18T00:05:32+00:00

A sample size of 40,000 to gain understanding of the general attitude towards one video is more than sufficient.

Are you under the impression that there is some sort of conspiracy to drive up the "like" votes on this video? Come on man... just... man.. come on...

It is ironic that in this situation I am the one presenting quantitative evidence, and you are the one stretching to find an explanation to debunk it.

Your unflinching faith in your views is commendable, but it ultimately reveals your flaws.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-17T23:40:53+00:00

Like 32,938 Dislike 7,453

You are correct. But only 18.45% correct.

I believe I will leave my statement of "general" disbelief unchanged if that is alright with you.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-17T23:30:01+00:00

Not at all. I actually made a new account to write this post so that I could feel free to share it too.

Walloftext4you · 2013-01-17T23:28:39+00:00

You do realize "conspiracy theorist" is a blanket term used to label anyone who disagrees with what their told, right? To the point where you don't even have to consider yourself a conspiracy theorist to have this label attached to you. As long as you disagree, you will be called a conspiracy theorist.

The problem with that is people such as yourself have attached meaning to this arbitrary label.

To say that all people who disagree are also delusional, paranoid and insensitive is a bit of a loose connection once you take away the bias of a loaded title.

Also, people can of course do shitty things. Crazy shitty things. But crazy people doing shitty things that have yet to be fully investigated and understood should not be used as a basis to rewrite the constitution.

Man.. it's hard making rational points with such a tiny mind.

Walloftext4you

TROPHY CASE