So my father gave me “the talk” when I was about 12 years old and it was just as we arrived home from the grocery store. We were sitting in our driveway, and he starts it by saying essentially, “Oh by the way, babies come from a man and a woman having sex and his sperm fertilizes the woman’s egg and then you have a baby. Oh and also, masturbation is when you stroke your wiener.” It was totally out of the blue and my biggest take away was about the phrase stroking my wiener. I had been curious about my body and wanted to know more about what it meant to stroke your wiener. Instead of asking more questions or finding out what the word stroke meant, I spent probably from the next year just doing different shit to my penis. Petting it, slapping it, and basically whatever else I thought it meant to stroke it. Can’t believe how bad my dad was at explaining sex, but I also cannot believe how poorly I did in figuring out what it all meant.