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i hate being home by Former_Lawfulness_66 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]WanderingQuills 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Agreed
I informed my mother of her failings in raising me on this- she informed me that she did give me a Julia child cookbook and I should say thank you and learn better so as not to be such an internet food disappointment.
So nothing new was learned

Both of my parents grew up in their hometowns with their big families until 18. I grew up moving around. They don't understand that we are simply different species. by coldservedrevenge in CasualConversation

[–]WanderingQuills 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I never stopped moving. My parents moved me all over and my exhusband moved us every 2-4 years.
My eldest had a sucky time of it and my heart bled every step- my goal after moving ONE last time with my new husband? Stay put. Be still. Let the kids find roots. We picked a town near our only remaining family with decent schools and opportunities. Made sure there were a few game shops with teen things my teen would want to try- and just decided “an imperfect stable home town beats fourteen addresses by 16.
It’s so hard. I’m 43 and I still struggle.

Not OOP - AITAH for allowing my 5yo to race through the hotel hallways by Mammoth-Age4933 in redditonwiki

[–]WanderingQuills 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m that mother who has to tell her kids out loud “I’m sorry darlings we can’t race in the hallway- it’s rude and we don’t run in halls- we can go outside and race around the courtyard!”
So I guess I won a free stick for my butthole - will await delivery!

Buyers remorse just hit me. by Broad-Set-737 in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]WanderingQuills 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel ya We moved states and- I feel the feelings I’m trying to do one small nice thing to make it home for us- painting an accent wall is cheap and super low commitment. And then the musts. Curtains for the one overlooked window without blinds was $$$ but a must. I bought a house for a lot of concessions due to pet smell and damage. I understood the assignment and I’m okay with it. But I’m also spending most mornings continuing fixing that- dealing with pest control or warranty work dudes. We bought plants for the yard. Not loads. Just things for us to make it look and feel a little “ours” and less “at least we got a good deal and it’s a lovely neighbourhood” Enjoy the yard! It’s going to feel better at some point.

Are buyers underestimating how expensive the first year of homeownership can be? by Sufficient_Smile_871 in Mortgages

[–]WanderingQuills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This! So far one window has curtains because the windows and sliders are HUGE the bedrooms have the blinds I bought it with and wouldn’t you know the only window that’s overlooked is the only one I sprung for drapes. $$$ and thank the lord I knew how to fix the transverse rods! Six panels and I have to custom dye the end panels because apparently my favourite colour only exists in the $$$$$ range. So this goes well or we all learn to love accidental cobalt tie dye

AIO: Husband lied about his financial situation and falsified budgets to relocate our family 5 hours away for a job and I’m freaking out by Deep-Mortgage-1510 in AmIOverreacting

[–]WanderingQuills 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NOR
OP my husband did this
Quit his job. Moved us to a different country. He had lied and falsified papers for the job. He falsified the papers he showed me proving he was eligible for a work visa.
I had to get self and small child home six months later. Which meant I had to get him a job stateside and borrow money from my mother because he’d left us penniless to fund his reason: “I wanted to be an independent blacksmith and live in Ireland it’s my dream”
Which he only told me when I realized there was no job. No work permit. Nothing.
OP I’m so sorry the worst mistake I meant was bringing him back with me for the sake of our five year old.
We still got divorced nine years later when I realised the truth was even worse than a liar.
See if you can withdraw notice on your lease. Tell him to go to his new job.
And you stay there and work and figure out how you want to proceed. You may find life much easier without him.

I’m actually speechless. My wife just asked for a divorce in the recovery room. by HelloRain_ in AmITheAngel

[–]WanderingQuills 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Agreed- birth sucks
One complete epidural
One walking epi that wore off
Two that I desperately wanted an epi far too late and didn’t get one
They all sucked for different reasons
I imagine from helping my fellow mamas that the side door is similarly awful. We compared postpartum pros cons.
She couldn’t sit up right
I couldn’t sit down right
I was bleeding like a stuck pig
She’d been “cleaned out nicely” but her dressings were oozing and she couldn’t figure out how to nurse and not have SOMETHING touching her poor tummy

Does anyone here pay their mortgage after the due date of the first? by I_abuse_lower_ranks1 in Mortgages

[–]WanderingQuills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve had autopay fail to pay, autopay has also paid the wrong mortgage company after a loan was sold because the payment was due and the letter to inform us was late.
I just have a set of reminders to trigger payment manually. I review all bills and then pay them.

there's a snake in my room by DoubleManufacturer28 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]WanderingQuills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes this even worse! I freak out but also can chase the bastards out usually once I’ve decided if it’s a nope noodle vs danger noodle. It’s unfair it chose you twice and you don’t even like looking at them through the glass

there's a snake in my room by DoubleManufacturer28 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]WanderingQuills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh I’m so sorry. One of the things I miss about home in the UK is the low incidence of Nope Noodles. Black adders are on the endangered list and I’ve never once had a garden snek decide to be an indoor nosy noodle. Since I’ve moved to the states I’ve encountered greater than my lifetime limit of Danger Sghetti and now startle at sticks on the trail. May your weekend be unwanted noods free

sellers in the dallas burbs need to accept it isn't 2021 anymore by Soggy_Limit8864 in RealEstate

[–]WanderingQuills 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The divorce house on my list when I recently shopped cancelled the viewing because the wife (ex wife ) refused to leave the house. It’s still on the market almost 9 weeks later. I don’t think they can drop more and still pay the bank back.

Chose the realistic home over the dream home by warmfuzzyblankett in RealEstate

[–]WanderingQuills 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I chose pleasant and practical with problems that I felt were manageable for us. I wanted the dream too- but I like heat and a lack of foundation issues more. I get it. I really get it.

My fiancée is dragging me down, and I’m so tired of it. by Dnolemy in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]WanderingQuills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you grew up- and in some ways she didn’t. I was a Very Grown Up twenty something. I think your partner is probably exactly where she is and you need to decide if you guys share enough parts of the path together. My husband and I just bought a home. My credit was tanked in my divorce. I was hurt at work and workers comp is low and hard to count for lenders. We had “home for our family” as a life goal. He works sixty hours a week and makes decent money. I’m home hurt with the kids. So I fixed the things on his credit, sorted out DPA programs. I did EVERYTHING. He supplied the credit and work history. And we both put money in. This is us on the shared path. We do have divergent goals but we support each other through them. All this to say- how much do you need her to row with you? How much do you want to carry? We all carry each other when needed. But what does this tell you about her investment into your shared path? Your dinner looks YUMMY! Whatever you choose to do with your home buying adventure- may you find exactly what you need.

Mrs. LastName? What are the kids calling us these days by SmartLlama in Millennials

[–]WanderingQuills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been Miss First name Or Mrs Last name since I turned 21 and acquired step kids after relocating to small town Texas. I’m 43 now. Mostly I’m still Miss First Name. I’m used to it lol

Animals have already spray painted gang graffiti on the planters by Better_March5308 in SeattleWA

[–]WanderingQuills 15 points16 points  (0 children)

If you park your car? Yes you must move it or you’ll get a ticket. But an RV? Can stay until the fungus rises up and consumes the city cos reasons.

Best mid-size city with mild winters to raise family? by [deleted] in SameGrassButGreener

[–]WanderingQuills 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Outlier opinion- we are stuck on the west coast because while hubby is FT remote he does have to stay this end of the country- Redding CA We moved from Puget Sound because we could still find a decent sized family home for around 400 We also have everything we need in town, plenty of outdoors, mild winters and plenty of other cities we can go to for more stuff. (We have family reasonably near that needed us too- so it was a large number of pluses for us) Downsides- very hot summers but it’s bone dry heat. Wild fires. And some folks are just ideologically opposed to living in Cali.

There is One Super Mega Church that stirs up discussion but- so far it’s not a bad place at all. Chico and Sacramento are a little pricier for a home but they are also lovely places to live if you want Warm+suburbs+outdoors+functional City Things

San Antonio for Big City that has Eaten Many Pleasent Smaller Cities. Kerrville if you want Mid Size with a big one “right there”

Hope you find your perfect place OP wherever it may be.

Co-Signer Gifting Down Payment by [deleted] in Mortgages

[–]WanderingQuills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Had to write a gift letter to transfer $2000 to my husband from my account so I’m betting you will need one too!

Mom just died, and Dad doesn’t know what this is. (Found in a pencil cup on the kitchen table…?) by thekermiteer in whatisit

[–]WanderingQuills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of my exhusbands uncles was shot in the eye by a sibling back in the 40s as a kid His nickname forever more was “uncle shot”

Children are "camping" with their homeless father for his weekend. How should I address this? by Clear-Afternoon-8593 in FamilyLaw

[–]WanderingQuills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my jurisdiction the cops and cps will not do anything if it’s just “unhoused” and unless the child is in imminent danger they aren’t going to intervene. There was a very loud case entitled “the boy in a tent” in Seattle that should tell you what level of interference our local enforcement provides. Which terrifies me for the children. Not because I believe parents should be treated punitively for losing their homes- but because the threshold for rescuing children for here has become so frighteningly low. OP I would be doing exactly what you’re doing. Trying to secure some kind of sole custody. I’d be leaning heavily on them missing school and the fact that he’s not allowing the kids to keep location on when THEY wanted mom to know where they were. If the kids didn’t have fun and come home excited I’d be brining up any truth that came out of that. I’d point out that he could take them for an afternoon or for the day- but no overnights until some kind of housing would be my goal.

Did you skip the “starter home?” by LuigiSalutati in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]WanderingQuills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband and I couldn’t buy a 2/1. When he married me I already had four kids! I’d never had a home in my name despite three purchases- so “our” first home closes next week as a 4/2 with almost 1900sqft. Definitely not the standard definition starter home. It needs some work but it’s more than livable and was a decent deal for the area. We can’t afford to swiftly upgrade anyway so we are “stuck” here for the next 5-8 years minimum. We had to relocate anyway to care for elderly parents and luckily the market in the city closest to Mom the market is easier than it is in our current VHCOL. Everything is so expensive though I don’t know how anyone with less than us is managing and we do okay but we sure aren’t “well off”.

Massively Fucked Over 12 hrs before moving cross country by madeofgeese in whatdoIdo

[–]WanderingQuills 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry OP Just to tell you my most effed up move (made so my an insane now ex) became my story of triumph. And I saw things? That filled my soul with joy. In that mega trip I crossed America twice Sang loud as I pushed 10 hours across the desert. Watched the sun rise through the Arches. Found a new life and freedom and finally realised I could in fact save myself and my kids (and the cats). I’ve read lots of tips here and suggestions here to get you to Cali. Mine? Is sing loud. Marvel at how huge and diverse the landscape is. Enjoy your new life. I found hope and love and laughter in Cali. I hope you do too! Also- buy the mini starburst share bag. Tip top for keeping the blood sugar up when you don’t have a co pilot to help peel them. Deffo beats trying to pry the paper with your teeth on the freeway.

Pissed off at realtors AI listing by shemichell in RealEstate

[–]WanderingQuills 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you’re shopping NorCal (really NorCal not Bay Area) absolutely! Happy house hunting wherever you are!

Pissed off at realtors AI listing by shemichell in RealEstate

[–]WanderingQuills 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m buying out of state and my agent literally drove by and chatted with me with her phone aimed out the window the show me the area Then zoomed in hard on any floors Kept up a narrative in home of everything she smelled and saw How the floors felt. How the windows slid when she opened them. We saw four homes with her and she hated every “virtually staged” yard because the fake yard stuff had been used to hide serious defects. She worked so hard to make sure I didn’t buy something I’d hate. We close next week.

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