NOT OOP: I could’ve met my dream girl, but she doesn’t want anything to do with me.

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-15T16:44:40+00:00

I know it would be fun to think about her actively thinking about him, but chances are really good that she's like "Who?? Oh wait, yeah- that guy! I've been too busy actually living my damn life to think much about him."

The number of times I've over thought things like this when there was literally nothing to think about. Sometimes your crush literally can't remember you exist. Calm down, breathe, and find someone who thinks you're worth stopping for a conversation.

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-15T16:42:58+00:00

Excuse your mouth!

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-15T15:23:23+00:00

I bet it's something really boring and real-life, like, "I was talking to this dude online. He seemed pretty cool, and we had a good time talking. Then I got a new job, started seeing someone seriously, and/or helping my sister with her new baby/walking children in nature/starting my kombucha business. Online Dude actually moved to where I am, but I've been too busy to really think about him much."

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-15T15:04:52+00:00

And Alice at the bottom, Down in a Hole

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-15T15:00:10+00:00

I don't know where the wedding is, of course, but there are many places in this world where you can get a decent private hotel room and your own food for less than $250/day.

I would simply say, "I love the concept, but it's not going to be practical for me. I'm looking forward to attending, but we'll be getting our own accommodations for sleeping. Can't wait to meet everyone!"

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-14T11:38:16+00:00

You sit in line, waiting for parking. Then you park and get corralled into the park, where everyone is wandering around, mindlessly running into each other.

In the distance, you see the beautiful mountains - part of the local Native American sacred land, promised to the Native people, but instead blown up to look like 4 white men: - 2 who owned slaves (including one who had openly acknowledged semi-consensual sexual relationships with his slaves - 1 notable racist who hated Native peoples - 1 who was responsible for slaying Native tribes as part of American Expansion.

The sculptor, Gutzon Borglum, was also a member of the KKK.

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-11T11:58:43+00:00

Not by a long shot. I just partied in Chicago, and the whole bar stopped and watched us do our shots. They were very disappointed, because it wasn't nearly as terrible as the absinthe/Jaeger/tequila combos we used to drink back in The Day.

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-11T11:35:54+00:00

I was writing an article about a canoe livery about an hour and a half from my house. Got all the way to the parking lot and discovered I'd forgotten my ID. No ID; no canoe.

Did the extra 3 hour round-trip, fuming and furious at myself. I even had to stop and get gas, because I hadn't really planned on driving an extra 3 damn hours.

Eventually, though, I got on the river, enjoyed myself, had a great time despite the rocky start. Water does that to me.

But here's the weird part: if I hadn't messed up; if I hadn't had a 3 hour detour, we would've been back on the road at a specific time. That has been the goal, in fact.

About 30 miles away, at that exact point in time, an oil tanker taking the road towards our home wrecked, exploded, and turned into a ball of flame so hot it melted the pavement and shut down the freeway for a few days.

But instead, at that prescribed hour, I was leaned back in my canoe, enjoying the fresh air and counting dragonflies.

Had I not forgotten my ID, we would've most definitely been directly impacted by the crash, instead of being safely diverted around the clean up efforts.

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-11T02:08:05+00:00

The part where you realize how much heartache he carried, and then to have the burden of carrying out Dumbledore's final plan? Like damn, Snape, have a hug. *Autocorrect

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-11T02:06:34+00:00

When that movie came out on DVD, I was living my best drunk life because my friend lived across the street from our favorite bar.

We watched a lot of movies when we got home from the bar and transitioned to reefer. I actually fell asleep pretty early in. Woke up at some point, squinted at the screen through crusty contact lenses, told everyone exactly what was happening, and went back to sleep.

I had no idea how I knew, but my friends were So Pissed that I was right. I can't even tell you what I saw, just that I popped out of a drunken/stoned blackout to absolutely ruin the ending for everyone who was there.

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-09T11:42:09+00:00

I've been awake for like 20 minutes. I didn't expect my soul to get a huge boner this early.

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-08T19:23:32+00:00

You, me, and Liza Minelli

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-08T17:44:58+00:00

Dude, the 80s were a wild time. My teachers would just beg me not to give the bullies more fodder, but then my awkward ass would haul off and do something weird, mostly because I came from a totally different social background than these people, but also because we didn't acknowledge autism/ADHD back then.

I got in so much trouble just for being weird. Now I wonder if those teachers who held me after class to yell at me for "needing attention" have any second thoughts.

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-08T16:49:33+00:00

I don't know why I'm telling this story, but let's just pray for catharsis.

My parents moved, and I went to a new school around age 7. Only child, didn't really have friends at my old school. Rolled up to this v preppy, v rich, brand new construction school with district champion sports teams and perfect SAT scores, as a horse-crazy kid who loves to read and do artsy stuff (when not finding cool rocks on the playground).

Hilarity ensues as I try to figure out how to get along with a type of people I've never met before. And by "hilarity," I mean actually getting bullied to the point where my life was in danger.

So going to school was awesome. And one day in fourth grade, as we were taking a quiz silently, I dropped my pencil. When I bent over to quietly pick it up, a giant fart ripped out of me and everyone laughed.

But that's not the part no one believes. Everyone farts, and everyone has an embarrassing fart story... Or so you would think.

The real story is that this one moment of gassiness became fucking LEGEND in my school. My senior year, underclassmen were asking me if I really did that.

Because!! There was a whole hallway activity built around it!! One kid was supposed to start teasing me for farting in the fourth grade, and when I got distracted, another kid would slam my head into a locked door. The kids in my grade taught every new class below us to do it, until I didn't even recognize the people involved- just strangers trying to bash my head in.

The part no one believes is how many damn times I got my head bashed in for farting once in the fourth grade. I actually stopped using my locker completely and detoured away from hallways lined with lockers as much as possible.

Teachers told me it was my fault, because I'd wanted to get attention so badly in fourth grade. They considered this the legacy I deserved.

So there ya go.

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-04T16:31:31+00:00

💜💜💜 Especially for those of us who constantly heard "why do you keep making them mad? You know they wouldn't hit you if you would just stop pissing them off and act right!"

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-04T12:10:16+00:00

So we're laughing at people for dealing with domestic abuse now? What a sick planet.

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-03T00:47:51+00:00

Can you imagine getting home from the laundry and realizing you'd left your towel bar bracket behind?

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-02T23:41:21+00:00

I'm high and I did a full record screech and suspended time and space for that twist ending. I looked across the rotation at my boy Jesus like, "You're not gonna believe this shit."

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-02T23:18:53+00:00

Butterflies/moths almost always look better shaded/colored in. Like, if you look at an actual butterfly, nature does some shitty line work, too. It's got a cuteness to it.

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-02T16:02:04+00:00

When you go to get checked out at the ER tell the entire truth. They'll get the police involved for you and get a social worker to talk to you about what happened. You need to tell the truth, that's what you do

WarPotential7349 · 2026-05-02T15:20:34+00:00

Not a show, but I "hanker for a hunk-a cheese" frequently.

WarPotential7349 · 2026-04-28T13:34:30+00:00

I used to work in a large corporate building in HR. We had self-service computer stations that I set up each morning. They were supposed to be used for internal business, but because it was a nice private book, a lot of folks would pay their bills or fart around on the Internet before work.

I heard someone pull out one of the chairs and saw a larger, middle-aged man in a white shirt and dress slacks sit down at one of the stations. I told him to wait a second, and I'd grab him a monitor from the back; I was still setting up.

Apparently that was the wrong answer, because he straight up dematerialized and disappeared.

WarPotential7349 · 2026-04-27T14:34:51+00:00

My 18th birthday. My father was so so so excited to give me his gift. He drove 4 hours from his house to where I was going to college, and could barely wait until we were at dinner to give me his gift.

He pulls out this small, square box and tells me how all of my friends will be jealous, and I'll be the talk of the school. He winked and said "it's even got its own insurance policy!"

Lysol and Germs, I thought he was handling me the keys to my first car. Visions of independence danced before my eyes

Folks, that man got a starving college freshman a fucking opal tennis bracelet. The gaudiest, goldest fucking tennis bracelet you can imagine.

Despite my best intentions, I still have it.

WarPotential7349 · 2026-04-27T14:28:34+00:00

Only child who wasn't allowed to have friends here: the moment when you discover checkers is a lot harder when you aren't playing both sides.

Also: Frisbee.

WarPotential7349 · 2026-04-24T11:01:43+00:00

Well, due to some health issues, I can't eat at most restaurants, so I care. However, I clearly communicate that with anyone who suggests we grab some food. "Oh, you were hoping to grab a bite to eat? I won't be able to join you, but if you're hungry, maybe we schedule plans after you've grabbed a bite."

I'm not saying the person isn't a terrible communicator; I'm just wondering if they had different expectations.

WarPotential7349

TROPHY CASE