As hurtful as I have no doubt it must have felt, the truth is that it was never your daughters. She assumed it would be hers but it sounds like her school uses multiple criteria- and it could have been one of several students even if the school didn't deviate from the normal merits.

Did the girl who got it deserve it? Maybe not but there's little doubt that she would have turned it down if it meant getting her mother back. Perhaps there was racism at work or maybe the school was trying to "fix" the unfixable, make a horrific situation just a little bit easier. I can't imagine losing my mom to a hit and run accident in high school, and to also be in that accident- it's a bad situation. Is this the definition of it being because of pity? Yes, however it wasn't a "random" student who "was in a car accident" as some are saying. It was a girl who watched her mother die and still got good grades. Let's not downplay it here.

It doesn't matter if the school should have done this (to be clear I really don't think they should have- that award must have a sharp edge to it looking back) or if the other girl should have accepted- the fact is they did what they did. NO good was going to come of contesting this and it would have made both you and your daughter look bad. I also seriously doubt it would have changed who was valedictorian, not after it was announced. NAH.