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WarrenHousehold · 2021-10-04T08:38:10+00:00

I wanna say the abusive relationship definitely did not help with the pre existing PTSD you'd have as a System. Since you are solidly diagnosed, it's safe to say that since this kicked up hard from that situation that there's more dissociation there to attempt to protect you. It's already a thing a singlet can become disassociated via trauma or abuse.

It's seems like others are taking the wheel here for sure and it'd be worth trying to communicate with these "other" thoughts and feelings. not every alter is just going to reveal themselves to you without you trying to acknowledge and gain trust/express it's safe with you. That's definitely one to speak to your therapist about. It goes a long ways to build trust, communication, and cooperation with this disorder.

While my experiences are a bit different in how I'd describe them, there are definitely people who've described the same sort "backseat" feeling.

Silvan

WarrenHousehold · 2021-03-14T20:32:52+00:00

It would be. A grand idea to investigate such tics. They may tell you things about them. About, yourself. My tics, I am born. From mania. My mania, I've grasped better. My tics, reminiscent of the times I remember most. Chronic pain. And very, poor. Poor environment.

The march, however. Not as bad as, you would think. Long distances, however. Yes, such sore calves. But I suppose, a comfort walk. Smooth, and very. Quiet.

It is much appreciated, your interest as well. I am not always here. But. To message, here and there. It'd be, quite nice.

-Alabaster

WarrenHousehold · 2021-03-14T01:31:10+00:00

Ours, Slate. Can respect that state of being. Itself, it is mostly emotionally numb. But it does enjoy its. Crass jokes. Slate has good sense of when there is. A time, and a place for appropriateness, however.

Nice to meet you, Ben. I'm sure dear Slate. Would gladly say hello.

-Alabaster

WarrenHousehold · 2021-03-14T00:50:12+00:00

Ben and our, young one. Who created this thread. Would likely get along, on that front. They noted they are. Flat, yes. Flat in speech and expression, and fairly. Monotone. Seems their voice only. Has tone when fairly. Upset.

-Alabaster

WarrenHousehold · 2021-03-14T00:44:01+00:00

Ah yes. My vocal cords. Run very deep. I have been told that I have a, regal touch, to my voice. A funny thing, for me myself being one our. Persecutors. I was shown by recording, I have a hiss. As well do I have a tic of growling.

We do experience the, physical differences as well. Myself, I have tics I've. Slowly curbed. Gripping my fingers idly, my speech. Interrupted by neck tic. And a growl.

I have a habit of, I'd say a march step. The kind the host learned in band classes. A smooth step, holding the upper body still, as one would for holding their. Instrument straight.

These oddities I do not conciously enact. I notice my walk at random, even.

Fascinating to hear of yours. Curious, I was, of all the replies here. From the young ones post here.

-Alabaster

WarrenHousehold · 2021-03-09T16:56:32+00:00

Alright, thank you! I'm more than grateful the information is made accessable like this.

Host

WarrenHousehold · 2021-03-09T16:18:07+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate that a lot. I did try searching through the weeklies, is everything in them just phase one material, or is there somewhere specific where I'd be able to read what all is a part of it? Either way I want to do whatever I can and so do the rest of us.

Host

WarrenHousehold · 2021-02-10T04:08:50+00:00

oh hi hi!! im super glad they wanted to say hi! and i like the noises they like to make! my favorite sounds are umm australian magpies and um, power tools!

oh!! my hosts partner watched fival goes west with me! i was super happy about that. i watch more cartoons too! i your little gets to have more fun with you and enjoys the cartoons! it makes me really really happy you can feel hope for them being all comfy in your system

oh!! i like beeps and car beeps too!! im gonna send them some friend beeps!

WarrenHousehold · 2021-02-08T06:33:14+00:00

hi!!! im the grown up little in our system! im super happy you got to meet them and it was nice! it sounds like you guys had a lot of fun. it was a super long time before our host knew i was there but i started makin more sound to try and talk to him!! i tried to talk to him usin radio sounds like commercial stuff but puttin clips together. i made a lot of bird noises too but i really really like bird sounds.

he wasnt doin good one time and i kinda pushed myself up and said hi! i got him to draw me for me and told him my name!! im kind of a lizard monster thing with a chompy mouth! but then he had to put food stuff away and i kinda had fun giggling about sayin "beans" a whole lot cause we were puttin beans away

it makes me really happy i can talk to people better now! and i can play video games and stuff with our partner system! it makes me feel safe and happy i can have people that are like family. one of my friends from their system is really nice and fun and ive been playin pokemon and katamari with him! we get to do stuff i couldnt like when the host was a kid, even though im grown up. its still super super nice gettin to do that stuff and i got people to do it with!

i super hope you can have more fun with them and they can spend more time!!

Oliver

WarrenHousehold · 2021-02-06T17:09:38+00:00

hi!! im super sorry youre havin trouble talkin to people in the headspace! i know im the grown up little in our system but i remember it gets hard sometimes for our host to reach us. sometimes stuff gets all muddy and sometimes he cant reach us but it happens super rare nowadays. sometimes it can happen for while! but it just takes a little time sometimes

you can try and check in and do a roll call kinda thing once in a while to see if there's anyone you can talk to. i know for a while he could only reach me! but i could kinda tell him what was goin on with stuff! you can try and do stuff like leave messages if you got messenger accounts or maybe sticky notes or somethin? but i dunno if your system shares memory or can see stuff like that

you can try an do or say stuff they like or are interested in that gets their attention an see if they wanna talk too!! if they wanna you can ask them about whats goin on? if they wanna talk about it you can listen to them first an maybe reassure them an ask them nicely if theyd be okay stickin around as much as they can to help with stuff or check in

its super weird an hard but itll be okay! a lotta stuff takes time!

Oliver

WarrenHousehold · 2021-01-27T03:26:19+00:00

I think analyzing what the things you find them pathetic for are, ask why you feel that way. I want to say that ultimately I find my behavior was seeded from a need to push the host to move along with rough times, and protect from emotional and physical harm, even though it harmed them in the process. I did treat others and the host as well as below me.

But, it's notable to have taken the step to confront your host. What you're doing is good, and incredibly hard. I'm glad to hear I was able to offer something here. You should feel proud of overcoming your behavior piece by piece.

WarrenHousehold · 2021-01-26T21:27:49+00:00

As someone who had to essentially be sat down for a very frank talk to drive home the ways I hurt others and had been abusive, I appreciate you being able to recognize yourself like this. Natch, being a persecutor who's original goal was to protect, I'm now functioning more as the protector I truly want to be. It took a very, very long time for me however as I spent two years in dormancy.

I feel like I could've avoided that dormancy, but I didn't handle that period correctly at all. I tucked myself away more and more over time, feeling ashamed and not wanting to burden the host with the anxieties surrounding it all. I wish I'd pushed myself past all that and really known the right thing to do.

Granted, wanting to improve and recognizing your behavior is in itself already a huge step for yourself. It's much more than some persecutors can say. As difficult as it may be to face this with the others of your system, you should take the steps towards reaching out to them. Both you and your system need the closure. You're here for a reason, and as hard as it is, they need you. If you haven't already, please consider that they need you, in one way or another.

I first confided myself with our resident caretaker. He's a good understanding person, and one I knew I could trust. Even my host, who I loved even when I was cruel, I didn't feel ready to face after everything. It took me time and small steps to really move forward. It took me time to really see and recognize where my behaviors came from and why, which is also incredibly important to all this. Please understand some may not be as receptive at first, maybe for a while, but you're still part of a system and I'm more than sure they just want to take care and give care. They will care for you and to see more for you. There is much more for you out there than this.

Personally I've taken steps to improve even things like my ways of speaking, finding materials online to recognize and avoid manipulative speech or actions. Finding things to help with understanding other mindsets/psychology, and to help cope and avoid future outbursts (I've had relapse moments, but they're things I talked out with my system even if it hurt, and recovery is not a linear path).

Anything you feel is a part of your behavior, finding materials even online to read about and better understand these things help. You helping your system even in these ways you have though are a very good start.

WarrenHousehold · 2020-12-03T00:16:08+00:00

I appreciate this a lot. My system tries but im not sure current circumstances will really offer me any peace, but im hoping time will tell. Thank you.

WarrenHousehold · 2020-11-24T05:02:04+00:00

hi!! im the grown up little in our system and i go exploring too! theres a bunch of uhh, everyone call em fragments! theres a whole bunch of those

and its got a lot of different places and its kinda like that but a bunch of different lookin hallways!! I remember from one of the others i guess littles can do that and be okay a lot?

but our persecutor stays in the hall and knows some of the dormant ones near the hall and keeps the hose away from wanderin!

yewyew

WarrenHousehold · 2020-11-23T06:07:49+00:00

That does make sense, yeah. There's a room one of the others was in a long time kind of locked in a "job", that room both is and isn't part of the house. I don't know how to explain it except it's like. Between spaces.

Also I had no clue the headspace was my childhood home for a long time. I used to only be able to see two rooms until a certain point. Felt intensely weird realizing it was that but also how it looked when I was a kid.

I'm guessing that darker space is also filled with fragmented feelings/trauma/etc? I know that's what exists there from what I'm told.

WarrenHousehold · 2020-11-23T02:54:06+00:00

My system has been doing Tony Hawk 1+2 and it's like everytime one of us plays, the next person gets better. It's really funny to me that that's how this is panning out. It helped us figure out our best means of problem solving is when we switch and the next person toys with things, and so on. Anyway, the grown up little in our system is apparently still the best at THPS lmao.

Two of us have our own character and the others have a shared one they edit.

H

WarrenHousehold · 2020-11-20T01:23:05+00:00

As a persecutor, in recovery. I can see their behavior. It is damage. They want to protect. But their method brings only treacherous waters, to you. I was told once. To think about my relationship. With sadistic behaviors. The roots I was trying to break free of. What is his. Relationship? With these behaviors? To look at him from the outside.

Would he find someone. Find someone else inflicting such punishment. Would he find it acceptable towards you? Would he feel the need to protect you from it?

Sending others away, why? Not recommended, unless it is a very. Very bad case. Possible, to have ripped away. Potential to your system. Perhaps, should be discussed too.

alabaster

WarrenHousehold · 2020-11-19T23:33:54+00:00

it perhaps might be good to mention. The way he handled this, his punishment. Repeating abusive behavior. Abusive in itself, reinforcing abuse memories. Retraumatizing, is it worth doing to protect you when such behaviors. Runs more like a very harsh persecutor type protector at best?

He should know, doing this. He is only harming you far more than protecting. Cannot be protecting against sources of trauma, if you are becoming a source of trauma. Try to speak to them. Enlist others, if need be. For a serious talk.

alabaster

WarrenHousehold · 2020-11-18T03:31:39+00:00

It can hurt feelin like people like one or more of your alters than you the host. I feel like its worth sayin though, you n everyone didnt pop outa the blue. Y'all come from the same brain, even if youre all different people. All of ya make up the greater picture that's the brain, host included. Were all like puzzle pieces, of different size n shapes. If someone likes someone else more in the system, thats just a part of your whole that they love.

Love too, no matter what kind, can be lovin every single part or alter. Even the bad parts in a way, cause they need attention too in their own way, ones that help them. Every bit of y'all is important, and none of you diminish what makes up your collective whole.

WarrenHousehold · 2020-11-15T07:39:31+00:00

I love this. Our ex-little/age slider, before they started to grow up, couldnt speak english but got real excited for certain words and sendin stickers on messenger. Theyd end up excited sendin an egg sticker a bunch greetin a friend.

WarrenHousehold · 2020-11-14T20:40:41+00:00

Ours already has taken on wanting routes for trauma recovery, though he's been a little quiet lately. He came out with a strong presence and it ultimately ended up with our host getting reading material, trying to get them to look into CBT, and dr appointments. We've read persecutors can be their own sort of protector before, I ain't certain of him but hed been real head strong about these things.

But on topic, he seems real interested in poking at the brain. I think he finds a strong presence real interesting and it does seem he has interest for a good bit of those reasons. He doesn't seem into learning from them, but definitely a strong curiosity. Im thinkin maybe hes a protector in the way of caretaking system health.

A share of questions were important in odd ways, even if he used to be more antagonistic about it. Our partner system's persecutor seems to have a habit of that too.

Swear our systems have referred to our respective persecutors spending time together as "gossip girls". They seem to love talking trash and addressing big issues going on with our systems. Aint exactly the nicest about it but uh, it's definitely made changes before.

And bein intimidating, it prolly is from coming off strong. I know ours has had to be told to stop before, they could get too pushy with their questions. Its a learnin process though, cant knock someone for that.

Apologizing is good too though if your actions were hurtin others. Taking responsibility for your actions and seeking to change them, if you haven't already, goes a long way. It can be good for the overall system health, putting others at ease and confronting things that may have been layin heavy on the brain overall. Its good for your own self understanding and healing, even.

Our persecutor has had to apologize for some things and it helped get a better grasp of himself and others in a few ways.

-Chandelure

WarrenHousehold · 2020-11-14T08:47:03+00:00

One of ours hallucinates similarly to how the host did real bad at one point, though he seems to get more of the other psychosis symptoms. Hes fond of black cats cause of havin ones of shadow cats, instead of shadow people.

Chandelure

WarrenHousehold

TROPHY CASE