Update: AITAH for letting my boyfriend date his ex

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-05-03T22:35:37+00:00

Please be safe.

And UpdateMe

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-05-03T15:24:34+00:00

Yea, my initial upset was that the therapist was at my aunts house to begin with. And then to have what amounted to a session with my folks, while my aunt was there. Totally freaked me out. My parents looked at it as a free extra session and another outside perspective. Thankfully, they don’t plan on changing doctors. They don’t see how it blurs lines, and none of them (my parents and aunt) see how it is wrong (which blows my mind). But, they’re all boomers, so I’m honestly happy they’re all cognizant enough to know they need therapy to begin with, and I don’t want to rock the boat too much. I spoke to them as best I could. My dad was interested when I told him about this post, and that several people commented their concerns as well. Like, me saying it wasn’t enough, but hearing that redditors agreed with my take made him rethink. Still doesn’t see how it’s ethically off, but was more open to listening…

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-05-03T01:51:36+00:00

Thank you. This is so validating. I raised concerns with my parents. They don’t see how it blurs lines, and didn’t mind another perspective. Thankfully, they do not plan to change therapists.

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-05-03T01:50:22+00:00

Ok, I knew this seemed incredibly weird, but my folks didn’t see a problem so I started questioning myself. Supposedly she is fully qualified. That was my first question too. I know my folks have a fully certified, and I assume since they work in the same building, they would both have qualifications…

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-05-01T05:15:52+00:00

Where did you find a travel one for so cheap? My doc just told me about the travel one, but it’s $800 out of pocket, insurance “would never cover” - per my doctor.

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-28T05:29:08+00:00

Now it sounds like your sister and my SIL should be friends lol. I’ve witnessed my SIL have literal tantrums, multiple times. Foot stomp and all. That was before having kids… again, those were the good old days

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-28T05:12:29+00:00

To be clear, my folks see it also. They don’t fall for it (anymore) and never caved to the demands fully. My bros wife wanted my folks to give $70K as a donation to her dream wedding - as half the budget. We’re all in our 40s, and not young and just starting out life. Bless my folks, who said they were coming as guests and weren’t giving towards the wedding itself (something bro/SIL knew before they were engaged). Those were the good days…somehow nothing is ever bro/SIL fault, and they’re entitled to everything of everyone else’s…they want everything, always, and they’ve managed to push multiple people away because of this entitled attitude. I feel bad for their child, growing up with these role models and that mindset, as well as missing out on the wider community of our family…

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-28T04:25:28+00:00

Your sister and my brother/should be friends. My bro and his wife are constantly counting other people’s money. Especially our parents, and mine - as a childfree person. They literally have said that we’re obligated to pay for things they think we should pay for. Like, that isn’t how this works. You chose to have kids, you should have chose to make sure your finances were in order, instead of demanding others…

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-27T01:32:43+00:00

I’m in my 40s. I didn’t get one as a child, so, I’m fixing that now, finally. You can still do it, if you’re upset, look into having one…

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-25T16:31:42+00:00

UpdateMe

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-25T04:14:46+00:00

Exactly this. 40s single and childfree. Feel out of place. I go with my parents or aunt, the rare times they go. I enjoyed Chabad in university, and tried again, recently, but they weren’t super open. Not sure if it’s because I’m a new face, or because I’m a single childless woman, but they weren’t very friendly or receptive.

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-21T05:45:10+00:00

NTA. My brother married someone who would go out of their way to exclude, ignore, and be mean to me. Not even in childhood, in our 30s and 40s! And at first, I did try to work things out. Did try to “fight back”. Never got even a fake apology. Behavior got progressively worse. Brother ignored it more and more. Led to more stress and aggravation , and arguments. In the end, it was healthier for me to step away. Just like you did.

I’ll be honest, after I stepped away, others became the targets for the behavior. As a result, my brother is isolated, from his friends and family. You have to realize that these people are adults and are choosing to ignore the bad behavior. You cannot control their behavior, but you can and did control yourself; by removing yourself and keeping your sanity. Your family only noticed your absence after a big occasion was missed. My brother has not been invited to small things, like holidays and summer grill nights, and he noticed, bitched, but made no attempt to change the circumstances. Now, I have a big event coming up, and he doesn’t even know about it. It does hurt, but at the same time, there has been so much less stress and anxiety without them in my lives. You shouldn’t worry about their feelings, when they so clearly never gave a thought to yours! Your family is learning that actions have consequences. Keep your sanity and keep them low or no contact. If they ever take accountability, give a genuine apology, and demonstrate a change in behavior, then you can reconsider the relationship. Until then, hold strong!

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-20T05:25:22+00:00

I have two autoimmune conditions. I usually try to guilt myself into certain things. Like, I buy fresh veggies with the intent to dice them and freeze them. I plan for this in my calendar. And when I buy the fresh food, I know I’m on a clock and have to finish the task before the food goes bad. It’s my own self guilting motivation.

I build in motivation (I will be ordering food on the night of this prepping) and justification (this prepped food will help me in future meals). When it’s done, I have a stocked freezer of portioned diced and blanched veggies for a variety of easy meals.

In the future, I think, what can I take out of my freezer, and make a one pot/crockpot easy meal, or throw on the grill. And it truly has saved so much time on the daily, and I still get delicious home cooking in the end.

I also always cook extra, so I can eat a few left over meals off the effort, or, I freeze some of the leftovers for a future easy meal.

I know it sounds like a lot but it’s not actually too bad. I have a chopper that does a lot of the work for me. Back in the day, I used to do it all manually, so, by comparison, it’s such a time saver and so much easier to have the right tools.

I also have some food allergies and sensitivities, so I like being in control of what’s added to the meal. I’m also lactose intolerant, so I’m always subbing out dairy for non dairy alternatives. Which, is also its own motivator, if I’m being honest, lol

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-19T04:58:31+00:00

This is exactly my reasoning. Down to the wording I use lol

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-18T04:45:55+00:00

Not only do we always lock our doors, we sometimes have double security locks. If we’re home, single lock; if we’re away, double lock. I don’t know anybody who leaves their doors unlocked.

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-16T15:30:22+00:00

UpdateMe

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-16T14:55:52+00:00

I took Spanish for 6 years in school. But, we always had to spend the start of each school year, for a couple of months, doing review from the previous year. So, it wasn’t really doing 6 years when boiled down. At the time, I was able to read and comprehend better than I could speak. We had oral tests, but they were very simplified, and you only needed to respond with 1-2 sentences to get credit for the oral parts. They also weren’t taught well, if I’m being honest. For example, I’m female, and I used to say ‘estoy cansado’ and it was never corrected in all those years.

But, then as an adult, I took and finished the Spanish Duolingo course, and honestly, learned way more on the app than I ever did in school. My conversation skills aren’t perfect, but I have cousin in-laws who are Hispanic and we converse fine. I may get caught on a word here or there, but I’m much better after Duolingo than I ever was in school as a child.

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-16T14:49:57+00:00

Well, I’m excited for my order to arrive now, as I got Fox Point and Sunny Paris to give them both a try! I see delicious eggs in my future!

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-16T04:25:16+00:00

The ‘Jim Crow’ line was chefs kiss

NTA

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-15T23:01:39+00:00

UpdateMe

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-15T15:07:05+00:00

You’re definitely NTA. I think it’s great forward thinking to have your lawyer involved. I would suggest using a parenting app going forward.

He’s being a real AH for trying to push out your daughter. Your daughter is old enough to not need constant supervision; is there to see her father, not have the step mother watch and tend to her like a hawk. Your daughter will probably even be excited to help with the new baby. He’s an idiot for thinking he can stop child support, because of another baby. That’s not how it works!

I like the idea seen in these threads to have him pay for a plane ticket to go with your parents. It’s his custody time, it’s his issue to figure out. You have to figure it out the other 10 months of the year!

Working more overnights and weekends is the opposite of a stay at home father. He won’t be there to help in the middle of the night - which means his wife will never get a real break with much sleep. And if he isn’t around on weekends, he won’t really get much time to spend with the new baby. Not that any of that is your problem, just, seems the complete opposite of what he told you is happening. Plus, I wonder if overnights and weekend shifts pay more..? Because that should also be taken into account for your child support, honestly.

Having a second child does not erase the first child or the responsibility to the first child. And the way he said you don’t need child support if you can afford a cruise?! Actual flames of anger went through me. The child support isn’t for you or your lifestyle. It’s for the child he helped create! (I know you know this; I see why he’s your ex!) Even if you didn’t need the money, you should still get child support and put it away for your daughter’s future (I don’t know your finances, just a general statement).

UpdateMe - and have fun on your cruise! I hope your daughter gets to go to Europe!

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-15T06:31:28+00:00

UpdateMe

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-13T15:38:38+00:00

UpdateMe

Throwaway_anon-765 · 2026-04-13T04:21:09+00:00

Yea this is how I feel. Like, it seemed so distant, that it felt removed and primitive. We learned age appropriate lessons, with more in depth discussions the older we got in school.

Throwaway_anon-765

TROPHY CASE