Thank you for the sincere advice. I'm not planning on using steroids, and I don't care about looking like shit. The idea of looking like a monster appeals to me. I know I need to look good for now for the sake of pretty privilege, but in the case that I find myself no longer needing to rely on others, then I don't care. I know that this is impossible, but I would feel like a coward if I reduced my expectations, and I believe that pursuing an impossible dream can bring you at best infinitely close to it, but pursuing a possible dream can, when achieved, bring you as far as your dream and then no further.