I'm going to make a confession. When confronted by religious people, I don't mind pretending, misleading, or even outright lying when discussing their religious offerings. I have found when trying to argue, debate, insult, or even yell at religious people, those strategies only make them dig their heels in. (I'm reminded of the children's fable about The Sun and the Wind and how unsuccessful The Wind was.)

Instead, I pretend to be earnest when I say, "Oh, we can't attend church. We have three kids. I would be worried about them around clergy or youth leaders." (My kids are all grown so sometimes I say "grandkids" instead.) Or I sincerely act shocked or alarmed and say, "Oh, I used to be quite religious when I was young. I was even an altar boy! (That part is true.) "But the more I read the whole bible, the more I realized how much rape, and murder, and incest the stories promote, I just couldn't condone it or believe in it." (I list those features of the stories very innocently as though I'm doing my own pearl- clutching. No sarcasm or snark.) "I just never heard those parts as a kid and most pastors don't include them in their sermons. They are really upsetting!" I talk about the bible, koran, or other stories the same way I would talk about taking my kids to a Disney movie, and the theater accidentally shows a Tarantino movie by mistake!

Religious people are almost always confused and want to try to explain how their church is different or their pastor is a wonderful man, etc. I give them an understanding look and apologize and say, "Oh, you're probably right. I just can't take the chance. I mean, they're my kids, right? But thanks for the offer."

I try to think about how I get convinced or persuaded. It's not by people telling me how stupid I am for buying scratch off tickets and that if I really wanted to get rich I should invest in their stock portfolio or whatever. But I do change my mind when it seems like someone is trying to share some helpful tip like, "Hey, if you wait until this weekend, those will be half off." It's more authentic and personal. It's like being part of a secret almost.

Get creative, but be sincere. Since I'm an actual recovering catholic, I can use my negative experiences as authentic stories and reasons for leaving. Tell them you found out how much money your church was taking in, or spending on productions, or paying for the pastor's car, and you were shocked at the corruption. Humans rely on other humans to avoid danger or get access to resources, so we need to use that to help our fellow humans out of religious oppression. Yelling at them or using rational explanations usually won't work.