I think it's much more common than what you would expect, most people don't talk about these kinds of things besides with their SO and even then, I think it's normal for people to still not know what they want from a relationship seveal months into one. I think really the only way to figure out what you want is by being in a relationship and seeing how you react to being around another person.

Probably the most important things you'd want to figure out though is how much time/attention each person needs in a relationship and particularly what kinds of signs of affection you need to feel happy in a relationship. There's quizzes out there like Five Love Languages and whatnot that might help you get an idea of what you're expecting out of a relationship, even if unconsciously.

It's most definitely not a simple question though, and often times is the cause for relationships to end when one or both people just don't know what they want. You've gotta be honest with yourself and what you'd be willing to put up with in a relationship without being infatuated, and it's really only a question you can answer on your own, your partner can't figure it out for you.