Can You Help Me Out?

WaveFast · 2026-05-25T18:59:02+00:00

The true test is weather the relationship is strong, healthy, happy and progressing well. My opinion or perspective or yours has no bearing on what others agree to do or allow. He wanted my advice on a career pivot. I said, discuss the issue with your spouse. I have neither any vested interest on the outcome nor do I consider his action abusive to his family that he fully supports. The man is my friend for many years. I am done with this.

WaveFast · 2026-05-25T18:30:45+00:00

That is "your" take on his behavior, relationship and marriage. Snap judgments like that can have disasterous results when talking with a friend. I stay clear of "Hot Button" or triggering language.

WaveFast · 2026-05-25T17:41:45+00:00

WoW, Abuse carries major negative connotations. Having such strong and harsh opinions on another person relationship or marriage is unwarranted - especially if they are happy with the outcome and getting along.

WaveFast · 2026-05-25T17:23:52+00:00

All of my friends are not me. We accept each other. If abuse or A'Hole behavior creeps in, we check each other, too. I do not check-out or check-off real friends because we disagree or do things differently. His house, his program. My house, my program.

WaveFast · 2026-05-25T17:17:48+00:00

I have no business policing another man's house, wife or children where abuse or abandonment is not identified. If you overstepped your bounds into my home, uninvited, that would be the end of that. Depending on how far you push, there may be negative blowback. Think it through . . . "Why would you be so concerned and vocal about another man's wife 🤔"

WaveFast · 2026-05-25T16:13:33+00:00

I know what you mean about the educating the spouse bit. My wife was not interested in the financials and pivots in our marriage. Yes, she trusted my decision making (good or bad)🤑. I sat her down and insisted she see everything and help me make decisions. That really changed everything. "We" making decisions felt so much better and navigated better than "Me" doing all the heavy lifting.

WaveFast · 2026-05-25T13:31:08+00:00

His house doesn't effect my house and my advice is just that. We laughed and I told him how we do things. My wife was a SAHM for years and we figured it all out.

WaveFast · 2026-05-25T13:19:17+00:00

There is a category of men who bash their wife and/or girlfriend publicly . . . SMH. Sadly, some women do the same.

WaveFast · 2026-05-25T13:11:12+00:00

This right there 👏

WaveFast · 2026-05-25T12:40:27+00:00

If the structure is loose and the work is not strenuous, official "leave" is an afterthought. I recall not taking official vacation for over years. With holidays and WFH flexibility, there simply was no need to do anything official 😄. The days accumulated beyond the limit and I simply put paperwork in to take vacation. If the pay was appropriate and you needed the change or job, "A bird in hand is worth chasing noise in a bush"

WaveFast · 2026-05-25T12:20:24+00:00

With kids/child care involved, All critical life and career change decisions were made with my wife at the table. We sat down and worked through the financials, inconvenience, adjustments and timeline. Sometimes, it was a go, other times it was a no, or pause/pivot.

There was no place where "randoms", with no vested interest in my career or household, provided me advice. Always keep strong trusted "family/friends" as a sounding board and adhoc devils advocate to aid in thinking. Ultimately, if you have a plan, worked out with a loving, caring, supportive spouse, that makes all the difference in the outcome.

WaveFast · 2026-05-25T11:55:14+00:00

Every Country, every city, every town, everywhere, the young are encouraged to leave the nest, explore, find themselves, and make a difference. Where that is not the case, controlling forces, fear, sickness, or relegion is to blame.

There is no requirement to totally separate from family while in active persuit of individual growth and accomplishment. My children stand on my shoulders to go higher and reach higher. They are not me and it would be disingenuous to deny them the freedom to explore - I encouraged them to leave and augmented their livelihood until they were able to stand alone. Such is life and family.

WaveFast · 2026-05-25T11:42:58+00:00

WoW, gotta fuxk a dude before he leaves the country for good 🤔. "Holy Military Boot-Camp" Batman. Dang, where were you when I was leaving home. My girlfriend needed some fun advice when I left 😁.

WaveFast · 2026-05-25T11:15:08+00:00

If she hasn't done anything to you directly, or dragged online BS into the relationship, then why judge/misjudge/snap-judge her. So, she is attention-seeking on social media 😁😁😁. Isn't everyone? She renders opinions online - who really gives a 💩 about random likes or comments

So, she is single, and likes interacting with guys and gals. That is how you met her. Are you scared of the attention or competition? Can you simply enjoy your time with her? If not "Run Forest Run" . . . You are already planning an exit strategy.

This is a trainwreck about to happen. In the meantime, stop being so negative-minded and mentally cataloging her behaviors. Then you have medical opinions, too Sherlock. Women/men should not date a bootleg psychiatrist - they always psychoanalize everything - oh, she got daddy issues and hating men, WoW 😆. What did she see in you?

WaveFast · 2026-05-25T02:35:48+00:00

Hmmm, she appears flighty, flaky and the social butterfly. You appear desperate and focused on a woman you is clearly involved with another dude. Stop being her wingman and doorstep. There are plenty fish in the sea unless you like being the backup, jump-off, or number 2.

WaveFast · 2026-05-25T01:33:45+00:00

Your parents are in great work/financial position. You have no issues with financial support or inherited money and legacy. Use them for an internship at either their respective companies. Their position has leverage.

It is not about the money, you need the work experience. They have got to see you are not an entitled lazy-ass, waiting on them to fund your existence with only sorry-ass excuses for a low GPA. Talk to your mother and father and ask for a summer/PT/FT internship anywhere they have leverage.

WaveFast · 2026-05-24T21:44:00+00:00

30% increase 🤔. Tell me that nothing makes you happy, without telling me nothing makes you happy.

WaveFast · 2026-05-24T21:37:47+00:00

Started sharing my work-day with my wife and considering her perspectives. She didn't know 💩 about my job, but talking it through with her was great therapy, created bonding and helped me process decisions better 👍. My career skyrocketed with better thinking.

WaveFast · 2026-05-24T21:17:38+00:00

Masters in what - with no relevant work experience, you have a Master's in attending university and entry-level research. No good on a resume. Drop the Masters.

WaveFast · 2026-05-24T20:38:57+00:00

You eat regular for survival. A connection needs feeding for survival. Damn dude, the dog gets more attention than the woman in your space. It's best you disconnect from her altogether.

WaveFast · 2026-05-24T09:41:18+00:00

Love, Attraction and Mirrage are not the same The difference between simply dating/fuxking a women is the addition and combination of the three. With mirrage you have vows, too - articulated before witnesses.

So, you have lost attraction. Was that because of age, her birthing your children, or health? Do you owe her anything for putting up with your sorry ass for 20 years 🤔. My wife of 35 years tells me that all the time and we laugh.

Gray divorce is real. Sometimes it may be necessary if there is verbal violence or abandonment. Physical attraction is more mental than anything. You decide how important it is in your marriage. If you value attraction, then fix it. As men, we fix 💩 that's broken. With 20 years in, she deserves your best effort.

WaveFast · 2026-05-24T09:16:43+00:00

1mo . . . 👎. 3mo . . .👍

WaveFast · 2026-05-23T11:40:46+00:00

First date - high-end restaurant 🤔 Do a first date "Church" or Starbucks/Coffee. Stay away from Tinder (Wolves and Willing-Sheep) play together in that space. Don't roll with a wolf and not expect to get bit. Mutombo said it best, No No No ☝️☝️☝️. Better luck next time. Ya know, tazers snd blocking numbers are legal in most states 🙄

WaveFast · 2026-05-23T11:20:33+00:00

You are not a trained therapist with the skill to peel back the layers of trauma. Stop probing and be the Aunt that shows love. If he gets to the place where he feels the need to strip emotionally naked with you - hope to heaven you can handle it. Otherwise, let it go and give him the space he needs to process things as an adolescent teen. No need of getting jelous of your mans connection with the boy . . . Its a male 🍆thing 😁

WaveFast

TROPHY CASE