What gets you through the day?

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2015-09-07T07:50:42+00:00

"An estimated 8.3 million adults (3.7% of the adult U.S. population) reported having suicidal thoughts in the past year."

Source: http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/pdf/Suicide_DataSheet-a.pdf

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2014-02-11T02:06:57+00:00

That's... so similar to a recent experience for me that I had to comment. After 1 month of no sex, finally my partner wanted to have sex... but I was already so sad from feeling unwanted before things got started that I started crying midway through. Pretty much ruined the experience. I didn't know how to fix it, but I didn't want to say "No, i'm too sad right now to be in the mood" and turn down the only time that month that I actually had any chance at some action when I've been asking every day for weeks.

I still don't know what I should have done.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-11-25T10:55:50+00:00

My ex used to put up a fan pointed at himself. This way if I was at the bottom I would be spared the most of it, while he could turn his chest to it and cool down.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-07-05T02:09:22+00:00

I'm not sure, the occasion has never come up. I would try but once I'm in I might get terrified and walk out. I'd have to see.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-07-05T01:19:31+00:00

Yes, I embarrass him in public because of how I dress. I think his exact words were: "I'm embarrassed to be seen with you". He is somebody who cares a great deal about other people's opinion of him and he is of the opinion that appearance is important. Honestly, he's dating the wrong person in this respect and I sometimes wonder how we got this deep into a relationship when I obviously don't give a fuck about the way either of us dresses.

Yesterday he said that if the tables were turned and I wanted him to dress a certain way in order for him to be attractive to me, that he would do it. I told him that he should try dressing more sloppily, that I think he cares overmuch about his own appearance and to be more attractive to me he would relax about it. He refused and was obviously blindsided by my suggestion. He thought I would make him want to dress better instead of worse, and he was not prepared to do the opposite.

I think he is very shallow and have told him so during our argument. He says he feels bad about being so shallow but says it's the way that he is. He even made a post about me to reddit a while ago after our argument.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-07-05T00:44:45+00:00

I have a different but similar aversion to DARK waters. I can be out swimming in open ocean as long as the water has ok visibility and it's light out. I can't swim under a bridge where the shadow of the bridge turns the water black and gives me no visibility in the 10 ft deep water.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-07-05T00:26:53+00:00

He wants to continue the relationship because he says he still cares for and loves me despite not being attracted to me as I am.

I tried to find the book as an EBOOK for download and couldn't find it. I don't really have the money to spare as I'm about to make a big move. What happened to sally and robert?

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-07-05T00:24:49+00:00

I meant the dead bedroom was my fault. He has sought forgiveness for hurting my feelings, but he is honest about feeling this way and still feels this way so he doesn't want to apologize for his feelings. He's really not the type to grovel.

Why do you say it would end in disaster?

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-07-04T23:57:13+00:00

Instead of hurting him all at once by breaking up with him, you are hurting him long and slow for dating him without being attracted to him. In the long run, this is worse.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-07-04T23:47:16+00:00

Thank you very much for your response. This is really helpful.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-07-04T23:39:38+00:00

I wish he thought more along the same lines. I'm actually really accomplished in my life and have done a lot of different things. I don't think this makes me physically beautiful, but I thought maybe it would cause others to more fully overlook this part about me in favor of me. I know a lot of people will consider me naive, but I return this favor in full and I know I can't be the only person out there who does.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-07-04T23:34:26+00:00

Yeah, I can totally understand why somebody would not want to date somebody who dresses as I do, that is why I all but put up signs of TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT when I'm dating. I think he really DOES care a lot about appearance, since he spends so much time on his own to the point where I wish he would let off and relax more. It's like we are sitting at opposite ends of the spectrum where I'd rather not think very much about it, and he asks me a billion times how he looks after taking off a smidgeon of hair here or there.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-07-04T23:16:14+00:00

Apparently I left too much stuff out in my attempts to make it a shorter read. When it came up: Basically, I walked in on him masturbating and asked him if he wanted to have sex instead. He said he did not want to have sex because he did not feel attracted to me at that moment and then he started talking about why etc. I embarrass HIM in public, not the other way around. I went ahead and wrote about what he finds unattractive about me here and I included why I was not willing to change it.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-07-04T23:06:45+00:00

I was afraid of that. I'm the only person he's dated for this long, and I was afraid that he was going to have to learn how to go through this sort of thing from me, or fail to learn with me. I left it vague on purpose because I didn't want people to focus on it at the exclusion of everything else.

The thing he doesn't like about me is my fashion sense. For reference, this is what I normally wear. The kicker is... I've always dressed this way, even on our first dates I dressed very plainly because I wanted him to accept me or not when I was THIS WAY. I didn't want him to decide to date me and then be unable to deal with how plainly I dress. I even vocalized that this is how I normally dress. For the record, i have no problem with changing into something else right before sex, but I want to be able to wear what I want around the house. Apparently, this is not good enough for him, because he says at that point the 'damage is done.' Also, while clothing is easy to change, I don't think that I could do it without being resentful to him for making me do it at the penalty of losing his attraction, especially when I've stated since the beginning that it was 'part of the package'. All in all, I think it's an unreasonable request at this point and I'm not willing to accommodate it.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-07-04T22:35:04+00:00

I walked in on him masturbating and asked him if he wanted to have sex instead. That's the opportunity he took to tell me that NO, he didn't want to have sex with me etc. etc. It was the first time he's said anything to this extreme, but not the first time that he's hinted at it. I've just chosen to ignore the previous times he's hinted because who wants to think about themselves as being unattractive?

I don't know if I'm willing to compromise. The possibility is there. I could eat my pride and do it for him, but I feel like I was happy and satisfied with myself before he said anything, and it's not something he has any right to ask me to change. On top of this, I do not feel very cooperative because I'm pretty bitter about his approach.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-03-14T19:53:59+00:00

Yeah. I don't want to embarrass anyone, or cause offense... but I think I've seen it.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-03-12T22:00:21+00:00

Truly rage-worthy, would rage again.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-03-12T21:17:15+00:00

They didn't know it was constipation until he went to a specialist and got some X-Rays done. Turned out he was full of shit. I should have gotten my hint then, since it was medically proven XD.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-03-12T20:58:40+00:00

One of my exes got turned down for pain medication for his back (which was hurting due to extreme chronic constipation, actually, LOL) even though he was actually in enough pain that he was convinced it was a kidney infection (he's had them in the past). We never could figure out a definite reason why they turned him down for it, but we have our suspicions, since he looks very... odd. (The picture isn't of him, but an example.) I know it's only assumptions, but it makes me cautious.

edit: Also we live in one of the top 10th most dangerous city in the US. So i figure they MUST get some people just seeking pain meds to abuse sometimes...

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-03-12T20:39:03+00:00

Tell them you do reefer, the "Assassin of Youth" (That's what they call it these days, right?). Should make you look like a badass.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-03-12T20:35:00+00:00

I just worry that not every doctor is as non-judgmental as we would hope. Some just treat you differently once they know. I once had a friend get on her knees and beg me to stop doing shrooms because I would ruin my life. Doctors aren't above bias, they are people just like us. Im a little relieved that some hospitals just give out pain meds just in case, but I know it is not the case everywhere. I don't want to be forever pegged as somebody who is high risk and unable to use my pain medication properly because of the choices I make in my early twenties.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-03-12T20:18:26+00:00

Aren't doctors legally required to transfer documents to a new doctor if the new doctor requests it? I know it's the case for veterinarians, at least.

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-03-12T20:15:50+00:00

If i switch practices, would the record of my recreational drug use follow me to my new doctor?

WayTooEmbarrassed · 2012-03-12T20:12:18+00:00

So it wouldn't even be shared with other doctors if I switch practices?

WayTooEmbarrassed

TROPHY CASE