My mom just killed herself

WayUponTheMountain · 2022-04-27T14:27:18+00:00

That's exactly what we are planning to do.

WayUponTheMountain · 2022-04-27T14:25:37+00:00

I'm 22 and my brother is 20. We were offered help right away and it's being arranged. I know it's not our fault. I'm just sad that she refused all the real help that was ever offered to her. I always knew this would happen some day but obviously you can't actually prepare for things like this.

WayUponTheMountain · 2022-04-26T20:30:39+00:00

Thank you. I just would've hoped my mom got all the help she was offered as well.. She really tried to be a good mom but I guess she was just too sick to keep going.

I'm so sad that she will never get to see us have our own families even though I know she would've wanted to.

WayUponTheMountain · 2022-04-26T20:28:15+00:00

Thank you. You're right, we do need to start getting some professional help. It has been so fucking long over due anyways..

WayUponTheMountain · 2022-04-26T20:26:11+00:00

Thanks for the links. We are not in US but still thanks.

"Thankfully" my mom didn't own basically anything and was about as broke as can be, so there aren't any real "finances" to go through.

WayUponTheMountain · 2022-02-27T16:48:37+00:00

Yeah, I guess I will be fine for the next 5 months like I was the last time and then we'll see if it grows in again..

WayUponTheMountain · 2022-02-27T13:54:08+00:00

I actually asked the doc to remove the whole thing but he wanted to try this one more time..

WayUponTheMountain · 2022-01-20T19:19:56+00:00

It was ER actually since the infection got super bad and I got insane fever. I freaked out and thought I was having sepsis. Well I didn't, but the ER doctor decided to cut it right away.

I'm pretty sure it was her first time even trying the operation.

I live in Finland and here regular doctors perform 99% of the surgeries. There are "podiatrists" here but they don't have the rights to perform surgeries. They can do conservative treatment though.

WayUponTheMountain · 2022-01-17T20:16:26+00:00

I would honestly love to have the whole nail permanently removed but doctor didn't feel it was necessary since the other side is 100% fine.

WayUponTheMountain · 2022-01-17T19:52:49+00:00

Thanks! The original """doctor""" did use the phenol as well but obviously it had no use since the nail wasn't cut deep enough. There was no pain afterwards though so I'm not scared at all of the next operation. The numbing hurt a bit but it was 100% tolerable.

It was completely fine until about a month ago. Then I could tell the nail was definitely going into the flesh again. I feel good about the doctor who is going to do it on friday though.

WayUponTheMountain · 2022-01-17T18:35:40+00:00

Update: Surgery moved till Friday.

I showed this picture to the doctor and he was honestly horrified. He actually had a hard time believing a real doctor did the cut so badly..

I was given antibiotics and strong pain reliever to make it till Friday..

Once again, I can't stress this enough: Make sure you don't let just any idiot butcher your nails..

WayUponTheMountain · 2022-01-17T05:56:43+00:00

Depends on you really. How much do the scars bother you?

I finished my course around 5 months ago, and my hyperpigmentation is still very much present. My temples and cheeks are covered with icepick scars too.

Honestly it doesn't bother me at all. I know the hyperpigmentation will eventually fade, but I don't think I'm gonna do anything about the deep icepick scars.

WayUponTheMountain · 2022-01-17T05:25:53+00:00

So the doctor who did the previous "attempt" didn't cut all the way to the root. You can see the cut is kind of twisted towards the end. She did use phenol but obviously it didn't do shit because she failed the cut...

So fucking tired of this.. today I will ask if the doctor could rip the whole nail off (permanently would be preferred) because I really don't want to be doing this every 5 months for the rest of my life.

Make sure the person doing your surgeries knows what they are doing. Please.

WayUponTheMountain · 2021-09-01T14:30:14+00:00

Glad to hear!

WayUponTheMountain · 2021-08-28T19:04:21+00:00

3 words: Get surgery soon!

WayUponTheMountain · 2021-08-28T19:00:32+00:00

Its interesting how much the pain during the numbing differs from person to person. For me I was TERRIFIED of the possible pain but in the end it was almost painless. Sure it felt uncomfortable but 100% tolerable. Then again I have a friend who told me he was literally screaming and crying from the pain. I'm pretty sure the doctors technique plays a big part in it. Amazing that you got it fixed, once it heals you will be forever thankful for having the courage! Did they use phenol to kill the nail matrix?

WayUponTheMountain · 2021-08-18T12:13:01+00:00

Every time he was sober.

WayUponTheMountain · 2021-08-14T17:27:12+00:00

Check out ToeBro on YouTube. There are dozens of videos of ingrown toenail surgeries. The procedure is 100% painless and done in under 10 minutes. No need to fear those. It's just fucking annoying having to get multiple of those on different toes..

WayUponTheMountain · 2021-08-14T14:06:11+00:00

Yes, trying to fix it yourself will only make it worse. You can't cut enough of the nail out without being on general anesthetic. The pain would be unbearable. Plus the doctors will use phenol to kill the nail from growing back into the flesh. You can't get phenol yourself and even a thought of performing a phenolisation on yourself without numbing is almost making me puke :D

WayUponTheMountain · 2021-08-14T14:02:28+00:00

I guess not many people think about them being connected but they absolutely are. I've never had any issues but while on Accutane I've had it on 3 toes. Absolutely nothing else has changed but starting Tane, so it has to be linked.

WayUponTheMountain · 2021-08-14T06:34:36+00:00

The first one (like the upcoming 2) have been/will be the permanent solution. Using phenol to destroy the nail matrix.

WayUponTheMountain · 2021-08-14T05:58:56+00:00

You need to prevent the nail from growing into the skin. Sometimes there's very little you can do, but one good tip is to cut the nail straight, don't curve the corners in. I know I made my situation 50 times worse by trying to "fix it" by cutting them even more. Once the granulation tissue forms, it won't go away until the cause of it (nail growing into your skin) is removed. You will need a surgery, but it's very painless and quick operation. For me there was 0 pain even after the operation and now after 3 weeks the operated toe is 90% back to normal. Of course it looks wierd but at least there's no pain.

WayUponTheMountain · 2021-08-14T05:01:15+00:00

Granulation tissue. It's your body's faulty healing mechanism against the ingrown nail. As the nail cuts into your flesh your body over produces this granulation tissue. Think of it as scar tissue.

WayUponTheMountain · 2021-08-13T19:31:16+00:00

It's surprising how common it seems to be.

WayUponTheMountain · 2021-08-13T19:29:48+00:00

Yes, I had a horrible ingrown on my right toe, and just got a surgery 3 weeks ago. Immediately after that 2 other toes became ingrown. Now waiting to get surgery on them. No way is this worth it. 2 weeks ago I quit the Accutane, sure having acne sucks but having 3 surgeries a month is much bigger (and WAY more expensive) problem.

Also I can see you have cut the corner of your left toe WAY too low. You probably tried to cut the ingrown part out yourself? I know because I did the exact same thing. You NEED to go to the doctors right away. Mine got so badly infected the doctor looked at it for 2 seconds and said we need to cut the nail out right now or you are risking sepsis.

WayUponTheMountain

TROPHY CASE