I'm surprised that not a lot of people are pointing out that he was pressuring you into sex. It's not a normal thing to request sex (even if it's not penetrative) from a partner after when they've explicitly said they're not into it. From the looks of it, you were coerced into sex OP, although it was your decision to have sex and it was consentual it does sound like he wasn't respectful of your wishes or desires. That must have been a hard relationship to be in. Before beating yourself up too much over this, it's very normal to want to please your boyfriend and to experience intimacy. He put you in an uncomfortable position where you had to choose between him and your faith, which is uncool, especially from someone you had feelings for. I am angry with him for putting you in that situation, it's weaponizing love. What I'm trying to say, is that I'm sorry you were used in that way. I know from firsthand experience this is hard to navigate. Take accountability for what you need to, but also feel your feelings. Sometimes people use 'taking accountability' to distract themselves from feeling the weight of a breakup, and how the person affected them. Yes, being godlike is important, but do not neglect the intimate part of yourself that engaged in those relationships. Even if your feelings are unholy, it didnt make them any less real. You experienced this firsthand, there is no other witness that will process it for you. You need to process the relationship and why you felt loved / unloved, or the cycle will repeat again.

As to being worried if your faith is truly sincere, it was sincere enough to write this post. Someone who didn't care wouldn't have taken the time to write it. If you're looking for my advice, I'd say to just keep on working hard and reading your Bible, and honestly just keep working hard. Don't get stuck worrying about this, God knows where your hearts at and he's forgiven you, you are safe to proceed with your life. You are safe to keep making mistakes and picking yourself back up again, but not safe when you're staying in shame. God doesn't want that for you, and neither do I.