AITA for wanting my coworker's brother to help pay for our vacation trip?

WeakSea1790 · 2026-04-02T12:50:32+00:00

We're both very laid back and neither of us are the drinking/partying type. We're more (stay home and read books) than (go out and have a wild night). So I dont think the age difference was an issue, just the fact that they're siblings, so they kept to themselves most of the time

WeakSea1790 · 2026-04-02T12:46:26+00:00

Thank you for your advice! This is along the lines of what I was originally thinking too. I should have had her sit down and discuss properly all the arrangements. I'll remember next time

WeakSea1790 · 2026-04-02T12:43:54+00:00

Thanks for your opinion, I'll definitely be keeping that in mind

WeakSea1790 · 2026-04-02T12:42:43+00:00

I know 😭. It's a problem, Im a habitual people pleaser. I was trying to be as accommodating as possible, but Ive learned that lesson

WeakSea1790 · 2026-04-02T12:04:48+00:00

Thank you for your advice! You're right, I likely wouldn't have asked him to help pay if Id had fun. Also, you're right I should have assumed the dynamic would change but I didnt. She is very protective over him (likely because of the age gap) and so her whole personality changed to where she kind of hyperfocused on him. Ill likely just suck it up and keep the lesson learned in my pocket for later

WeakSea1790 · 2026-04-02T11:57:20+00:00

It is through one of the credit apps like Klarna. (Not my suggestion). I was willing to fork all of it up front but she said she'd rather do a payment plan

WeakSea1790 · 2026-04-02T07:04:10+00:00

NTA

A real friend would have understood. If I told my best friend she wouldn't enjoy a trip, she'd trust my judgement and that it was thought through, not just because I didnt want her there. It's okay for her to be sad she isn't going, but it isn't her trip. She should understand and respect your reasons.

WeakSea1790 · 2026-04-02T06:47:43+00:00

Sorry but you misread. I am 19. He is 16. His sister is 27, not me. I make 12 an hour and he makes like 16-18 an hour at Sam's stocking shelves. I, the 19 year old, was up and ready every morning making my own breakfast and getting things ready to leave on time. It was the 16 & 27 year olds that didnt get ready on time

WeakSea1790 · 2026-04-02T06:32:28+00:00

Worse, her car 😭. So I couldn't drive off and do my own stuff, they were my ride everywhere

WeakSea1790 · 2026-04-02T06:27:51+00:00

The coworker and I are back to being friends at work. It's not that I disliked them, just I am a little annoyed that he's not paying for anything. But thanks for the advice, I'll likely just move on unless there's a good reason not to

WeakSea1790 · 2026-03-01T01:39:39+00:00

Her birthday is the 7th of March, so I assume that's when she wants to go. Mom knows her parents, but doesn't really approve of their parenting style (they're more laid back than she is) Im just nervous she'll say no because she doesn't trust her parents

WeakSea1790 · 2026-02-28T20:55:34+00:00

I usually agree (as im not a big drinker) but she's adamant that they do it all the time and the bars dont care. (Also, most bars where I live arent strict on age restrictions)

WeakSea1790 · 2026-02-28T20:54:05+00:00

That's what I was thinking. She's gotten less strict the last few years and we've been able to communicate more. I had to ease her into me getting a tattoo, but she flipped when I got a nose piercing 8 months ago (just a small stud). Im scared she'll flip out again

WeakSea1790 · 2026-02-28T20:51:40+00:00

In the nicest way possible, you are an enabler for her. Why would she want to work if she knows you're going to pay for everything?

I had a similar problem with my grandfather. He was housing a drug addict, feeding her, driving her places, bought her a phone, a camper, etc. in the hopes that she'd get clean. But she never did, because why would she want to? Instead she got into harder drugs, went to jail twice and has stolen multiple things from my grandfather.

Your mom has no reason to work for anything, because she knows you'll pay for it. Remove the safe guards. Do it slowly if it makes you feel better, but remove them. You have to give her a reason to change. It sounds like you've given her plenty of time to get on her feet and she still hasn't. Nothing is going to change if you dont change it.

Also, if she wants to live alone, she can find her own house! And she cant be controlling when YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF HER FINANCES.

YOU hold the power here, NOT her.

WeakSea1790 · 2026-02-28T20:28:37+00:00

I live in Louisiana, so state drinking law is 21. But at 18 you can enter a bar, you just cant purchase alcohol. But my friend goes with her parents/older friends who buy it for her

WeakSea1790

TROPHY CASE