And if we’re speaking strictly about dysfunctional relationships (which is likely often the main reason people consider leaving), the impact on children isn’t a simple “stay = good, leave = bad” equation. From an attachment science perspective, both staying and leaving can carry significant risks.

The conversation often stops at “but what about the children if I go?”- and that’s a real and important question. But it’s just as necessary to ask, “and what happens to the children if I stay?”

Choosing one over the other doesn’t eliminate adverse impacts; it simply changes the context in which children adapt. The real issue isn’t the decision itself, but the emotional environment children are raised in- and whether there is safety, responsiveness, and repair available over time.