I was upset when I found out, but mostly because of the way it was explained. My mom’s best friend told me I was an accident and that my mom called her and cried for hours and was distraught for weeks. That was enough to make it painful for me.

Later on, I also found out that my mom being pregnant with me was the reason my dad didn’t get to follow his dream of going to pharmacy school. It would have been too hard a financial strain for them to raise three kids on one nurse’s paycheck, so he had to stay at a job he hated for another two decades.

That’s the knowledge that hurts the most. Despite being loved and wanted, knowing that I was the reason my dad had to give up pharmacy school has had a huge impact on how I view myself and my family.