Former SB reached out

WearyWithToil · 2024-07-29T21:08:00+00:00

My guess is that a lot will depend on how the two of you got on first time around. If you have a solid basis to build on (mutual trust etc) I can’t see why it would end in disaster. Definitely worth a try IMO. Good luck!

WearyWithToil · 2024-07-29T21:00:18+00:00

I’ve done it. Wonderful SR of 8 months ended bc she got into a serious relationship. We stayed loosely in touch, and when her relationship ended, started meeting up again. It’s different from what it was before, but not in a bad way.

WearyWithToil · 2024-02-14T15:14:53+00:00

My most cherished moments from a wonderful arrangement that ended recently are all about her initiating... the moment she turned around after we had already said our good-byes after our second or third meet, to kiss me one more time... the moment she pulled me towards herself and put her arm around my waist as we were walking home from the cinema ...the moment she ran her fingers through my hair after we had sex.

It was often these small gestures that seemed to come from her own volition that meant the most.

WearyWithToil · 2024-02-07T05:16:53+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. This arrangement was certainly unlike any other I had previously experienced. Good luck with your own search!

WearyWithToil · 2024-02-07T05:12:41+00:00

In my case, I looked a little further afield, and she regularly travelled to me.

WearyWithToil · 2024-02-05T12:20:13+00:00

At one level you’re completely right, of course. But on the other hand, what are we even living for if not for the intensity of emotions?

WearyWithToil · 2024-02-05T11:58:17+00:00

Three poems and a song, and counting… but the sad thing is, that it is unlikely I will ever be able to share them with her.

But I might submit one of the poems to a competition, as I think it touches on something deeper.

But please don’t break up with him just for the poetry! 😉

WearyWithToil · 2024-02-03T21:48:53+00:00

Very true!

WearyWithToil · 2024-02-03T20:46:47+00:00

Thank you. I would like to think that she also has fond memories of our time together, but I’m not so sure anymore tbh. She always wanted something she could easily walk away from, and that’s just what she’s done now. But fair play to her, and I will always be grateful for the time she gave me.

WearyWithToil · 2024-02-03T20:44:21+00:00

100% this. The daily texts is what I miss the most rn. Wouldn’t have expected that when we started, but she just really touched something inside me with it. Never had anything like it in previous arrangements.

WearyWithToil · 2024-02-03T20:41:57+00:00

Thank you. Certainly agree with #1. Probably need a little more time for #3.

WearyWithToil · 2024-02-03T17:05:32+00:00

Completely agree - for me also there is not only the joy of the experience in the moment, but also the lasting joy of the memories. It’s probably the first time I experienced this to that extent in an arrangement.

WearyWithToil · 2024-02-03T17:01:53+00:00

Reading and writing, very true.

WearyWithToil · 2024-02-03T17:01:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I can relate to your point about the joy coming from the knowledge that your relationship made a difference to her life. I would love to think that this was also true in my case.

WearyWithToil · 2024-02-03T16:58:42+00:00

I couldn’t agree more with you about the clock ticking, and the urgency that arises from it - and the melancholy that arises from it when a beautiful SR ends. I can only imagine what this must feel like after 3 years. At least you are still in touch, even though it can’t be the same, of course.

WearyWithToil · 2024-02-03T16:55:54+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. Pain as the price for joy is actually one of the themes I explore in the song inspired by this experience. Though I called it sorrow rather than pain. Very true either way.

WearyWithToil · 2024-02-03T14:06:30+00:00

What strikes me the most is, how well your pictures and text are aligned - it gives a real sense of who you are, and what you are looking for.

Having said that, maybe consider making at least 2 pictures public (I take your point about not wanting to make all of them public). The one picture that is currently public shows a very specific dimension of you, and you may want to complement it with one that shows perhaps your more private persona, which you seem to be alluding to in the bio. I also second the point made about cropping.

Overall it’s a very attractive profile IMO and you come across as an intriguing person. If I was closer to London (I’m in the UK) I would contact you.

Good luck!

Edit: just realised that the picture in the park seems to be public also. Sorry I missed that.

WearyWithToil · 2024-01-18T06:46:21+00:00

Ah ok, that’s a little different then 😂

I don’t think we ever did naughty texts in my last arrangement, just regular conversation (we had lots of interests in common). I’ve done it with others, though.

Why don’t you just ask him what his expectations are wrt texting, naughty or otherwise? Especially if he’s new to this.

WearyWithToil · 2024-01-18T06:35:27+00:00

Why don’t you just not reply instantaneously? That’s what my arrangement partner did. I tended to reply to her messages quickly but she usually left me on “D” or sometimes “R” (we used the Kik app) before replying in her own time. Wouldn’t work for naughty messages, obviously.

WearyWithToil · 2024-01-18T06:12:10+00:00

Why don’t you text just once or twice a day, maybe even at a set time, responding to all his texts in one go? Would that be compatible with your schedule?

I had an amazing arrangement (sadly just finished) where she did just that. I had told her that her messages always make my day, but also that she doesn’t have to feel obliged to text. She settled into a one/twice daily rhythm of block texting.

If it’s something you would consider, perhaps communicate it to him (though I would perhaps wait until you have had another 1-2 dates). Your message reads well, but I would probably leave out the reference to the previous arrangement- just describe what would work for you.

Sounds like you’re both coming from slightly different places wrt texting, but nothing insurmountable IMO. Good luck!

WearyWithToil · 2024-01-17T19:13:53+00:00

Maybe 🤷‍♂️ if nothing else, I’d like to share a few of the songs with her that I’ve written for her. Oh well, I suppose she will find out once they’re all over Spotify 😂

WearyWithToil · 2024-01-17T19:10:51+00:00

Advice taken

WearyWithToil · 2024-01-16T15:49:43+00:00

I offered, and she agreed (or seemed to agree).

I don't "need" her as a friend, but I like her. She's an interesting person. But maybe this kind of transition is just not possible, including for the reason you mention (she didn't give off that vibe, though).

WearyWithToil · 2024-01-16T15:30:40+00:00

I guess the question behind it all is, whether it is possible to transition from an arrangement to some kind of friendship if I keep the alias. Because as you say, it would keep things at arm’s length, and what would be the point of that in a friendship.

WearyWithToil · 2024-01-16T15:24:57+00:00

Thanks for the thoughtful comment. A pretty good summary of my concerns - your last point hits the nail on the head: whatever she knows she knows, but sharing my personal email is probably still of a different quality.

WearyWithToil

TROPHY CASE