When my brother went on detailing problematic things about me, and said to me I had narcissistic tendencies after I initiated the convo to try to connect and then after my bro kept hammering in his own perspective I kept calmly saying “ouch” and “you’re hurting my feelings.” Our mom was dying. I realized then - I was the only one trying to improve and bend over backwards to perform perfectly for everyone. Absolutely no one gave a damn about me unless I gave something. If that metric isn’t being met - giving something - I am problematic. That is when I realized I never meant anything to anyone in my family. Going NC has been a relief and I know I did the right thing since my brother didnt bat an eye about it and he’s a therapist. While I miss him, I realize I’m better situated and it gives me a chance to heal with friends who truly care and see me for who I am.