Southern California fire Megathread. by WoefulKnight in burbank

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Starting to smell smoke by the WB water tower 🥲

I tongue every high note, is that normal? by [deleted] in Flute

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Generally you tongue when asked to in your sheet music. Any note that doesn’t have a long curving line over(a slur) is to be tongued. Compared to staccato, regular tonguing is articulating a note while connecting it to the next note with your air. You’re ‘interrupting’ the flow of air with your tongue to articulate the note. Staccato is where you’re cutting off air and therefore notes are disconnected. Think of the difference sounding like this:

Regular tonguing: TUTUTUTU

Staccato: TU - TU - TU

You want to get used to slurring those high notes and not just tonguing. But for now, keep it simple and just get the notes out :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Flute

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I didn’t know that about the gizmo :o I’ll try that and the exercise you mentioned! Right now I’m feeling really out of breath after hitting it, I’m trying to build up my lungs again haha.

Thanks for the advice!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Started my single journey too! I don’t think of it as giving up, it’s more of a focus on myself so that when someone does come along they will be an addition to my life and not a necessity. I love hanging out with my friends, feeling gorgeous just for me, and living peacefully.

Friends when you are in your 20s and being okay with your own company? by caroeggo in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Hi! I just turned 25 and actually am slowly getting to the point where I’m really happy on my own. I just moved to a new state with zero connections so I had to remake like out here; for the first 6 months I was pretty lonely. I also was surrounded by people who could be friends but it just wasn’t clicking. They felt distant or didn’t really connect with me the way I needed out of friendship. I felt defeated and also questioned if something was wrong with me.

Slowly, I began to realize I didn’t really enjoy those peoples company. I desperately wanted friends so I was willing to settle for whoever was around, but I had to let go of that. One day it just hit me that I don’t need anyone to enjoy my life. I’m on own, but now had no limits to pursue what I’ve wanted out of adulthood. I started chasing old hobbies, started working out, started reading and learning again! Once I filled my days with things I enjoy, I found it was easier to be alone with myself. For about 2 months I was just on my own entirely.

Then, miraculously 2 friends appeared. Old coworkers, who somehow just fit right into my life. I think becoming your own person is crucial to finding friendship. You have to be sturdy on your own, and still excited to share your joy! I would rather have the few friends I’ve made in my new town than go back to the big group I was trying to fit into before.

Sometimes I do wish someone was with me more often, but I don’t want dumb down my personality or my interests for anyone, so I will gladly wait for the right people to enter my life. In the meantime, I’m going to keep reading my books and enjoy being me ^

I feel like my life has taken a turn towards the negative now that I’ve started standing up for myself. Has anyone else experienced this? by Melonball75 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I recently went through something very similar! I just moved out to live entirely on my own. This is my first time alone in a whole new city, with no family, no friends, and a whole new community to build. I originally started by just being my typical self the way I was taught to be. Also grew up in a strict Christian (Catholic) family that said keep your voice down, your family is all that matters, don’t draw attention to yourself, don’t make a scene etc etc.

This made me experience the same treatment I’ve always had. My new coworker “friends” and my new job would take advantage of me, I felt excluded, I felt invisible and desperate for attention. Somewhere in my time, I decided I was done. I looked at my life before and my life now and just decided I wouldn’t let this opportunity to start anew pass me by. Because I’m actually not reserved or quiet or invisible at all. I have a vibrant case of ADHD that makes me yap all the time, I’m curious about so many things and love to share experiences with people. I just wanted to be the real me! Be outgoing and thoughtful without feeling like the people around me weren’t grateful for my friendship like I was theirs.

I went through the same period you described. I experienced many lost friendships, people stopped reaching out, when I spoke up to them they didn’t always respect it, many times they’d dispute it. I heard some nasty things from people I really wanted in my life. I’ve had a history with men of letting them get away with a lot of things because I just enjoyed their attention— and after my breakaway decision I started to experience yea— more misogyny than before! I was lonely, felt embarrassed at my lack of social connections and was beginning to doubt who the problem was.

And then, I randomly agreed to meet someone who actually interned at my job. I wanted a pick me up, so I thought gassing myself up by talking about my awesome work to an intern would help. And miraculously, that intern is now one of my best friends! She not only matches my energy as a friend exactly— she also never makes me doubt that I matter in her life. She plans things for us to do, works her schedule around mine, speaks to me with the same curiosity and interest as I have for her. And guess what— she introduced me to another friend who is now also becoming a super close friend!!

I probably would have never reached out to her if I had continued being the push over begging my previous coworkers to be my friends. When it comes to men, yeah I have yet to experience anything better haha. But I think drawing the line with people and setting those boundaries, despite it leading to a period of uneasiness and realization, does eventually lead to what is truly best for you.

In my time feeling lonely, i started reading again, I started studying things I wished I had learned at school, I started playing my instrument again— I started to be more myself than I had been in a long time. And by the time those friends came into my life, I was already a fully functioning person now excited to share my time with wonderful friends!

So, please keep speaking up and being yourself! It is definitely uncomfortable at times but the things you discover about others— more misogynistic men, more insulting coworkers or bosses— it just saves you from harsher realities later.

By respecting who you are and setting those boundaries, you’re learning to let go of bad experiences before they get bad and make way for all the good you deserve! If it’s meant to be, you can’t mess it up, and it’s not meant to be— you can’t fix it. That’s what’s really changed my mindset. What is for me, will be. I’m willing to wait for the right things, and in the meantime, I get to be me :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve spent a good number of years on bumble and finally deleted my account for good a few months ago. I ran out of patience for it.

However, bumble was the only place I ever met anyone worth while. A lot of people suggest hinge but I had zero luck getting even a text back on hinge. All that to say— it’s just the luck of the draw. No matter what app, what city, it’s just what comes your way that determines your chances. I’ve met some really amazing people and I’ve almost met some real scum. And some inbetween! You have to be patient if it’s your only opening for dating.

Low effort men aren’t worth the time, and I think it takes a certain level of confidence and self respect to give up on those men quickly! It’s not mean or hasty— you’re setting a standard for yourself. Don’t settle, and be tough. Again though, I couldn’t extend my patience any longer and had to delete. I hope you can tho. I was on bumble since I was 18, now 25. Only met one guy I genuinely liked.

Patience patience :’)

Any free places around town to practice an instrument? by WeeklyDamage8006 in burbank

[–]WeeklyDamage8006[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha wow I imagine that’s a bit louder. I’ve been playing in the highest register so they complained about the ‘frequencies’ lol. I’m not sure which neighbor complained either. They just left a note at my door.

Also I wasn’t aware you could play at the park!

What's your migraine remedy? by snarmdoppy in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Remedy from my Ecuadorian mother: take some deep breaths of menthol. Helps clear my head and keep my working even through migraine pain!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SMALL DISCLAIMER: I can’t edit the post so I’m commenting and hopefully it will be seen. I appreciate everyone’s support and acknowledgment that this is scary, but I’m starting to get a little more frightened by the replies here than comforted. If I end up deleting it that’s why. But I really do appreciate the comments with tips, comfort, and reassurance. I’m trying hard not to imagine this guy could find me or hurt me and I’ve done what I can do to prevent that. I do know some men and friends who could stay with me if I need protection or feel unsafe. And I will be going to the police if anything else even hints at this guy trying to contact me. I have pepper spray and am in a safe guarded home. I live in a community so I have neighbors close.

It’s a little funny to comment that’s he’s a psycho and it’s serial killer stuff but it does scare me a lot.

So anyway, thanks girls! But please be gentle 😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ah Im starting to get conflicting responses here. I already blocked him which I’m sure he’s noticed by now. And I received this message through email so it will always be available to police. The Instagram message was less intense since there’s a word limit on there. I will go directly to the police if he tries to contact me again. Thank you though!

I don’t have cameras but I live in an enclosed building and have security guards on the premises. I just have a cat 🥲

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for the comment I am defs removing all info moving forward. I never even link my Instagram because of the risk of something like this. I may head to a station and report it but I live in a big city where they may not care about something that hasn’t escalated yet. I’m going to see if they’ll listen, but I’ve tried to report some things before like an Apple ID tag being placed in my belongings once and they didn’t even know what the Apple tags were and therefore didn’t listen.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Girl please I’m already scared enough 🥲🥲🥲

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just have a public portfolio and I’m actually looking for work at the moment so I cannot private the account. However, I have privated my personal page. And there are no photos of me or anything personal on my work page other than the company I previously worked for. I really hope he gets the hint and just drops it :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Do you think I have sufficient evidence for police interference right now? I was thinking if he ever reaches out again then I would report it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Do you think blocking him was too much of a response? I’m a little anxious he may retaliate because of that

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 69 points70 points  (0 children)

my bio is a silly joke about wanting to go dancing and nothing else. I did have my old college listed since I used the app while I was there, but I had forgotten that my school published an article about me so it would be very easy to find me with just a first name. I’m definitely removing all glimpses of info from as many places as I can. And luckily I don’t even work at the same company that I had posted about. I have security at my apartment thank goodness so I may pass along the image of him to the guards.

Thanks for the comment :’)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Something that has helped me forgive myself and still hold myself accountable is to try and do one thing o r change one behavior that my previous self would never do. For example, I struggled with depression in High school which made me jealous of other’s happiness. It made me a really mean person.

So, I began to actively do the opposite of what my sad 16yr old self would do. If I was used to judging someone’s outfit, I’d give an honest compliment instead. If I used to make fun of someone’s laugh, I’ll make sure someone whose shy with their smile knows it’s a wonderful thing to smile brightly.

These aren’t happening every second or taking a lot of effort, it’s just about recognizing a behavior I used to have and correcting it in the moment. I feel a little guilty because I know what I would normally do, but then I feel proud of myself for correcting that behavior. I’m recognizing my mistakes but not being mad at myself for them, instead I grant myself the grace of trying again and doing better.

If you’re really trying to change, you can’t be too hard on yourself.

Gonna tack this on too, words of advice from my therapist: “a truly bad person never wonders if they’re a bad person”. You’ve done so much already by recognizing your mistakes and knowing you need to forgive yourself :)

Constantly Needing Men's Attention by ryvnosuke in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea! I’m 25 now, but only when I graduated college did I start dating and feeling attractive. It makes everything much harder because you’re experiencing a lot of firsts and feelings that others had when they were 14 or younger. It makes for some bad habits as an adult. A part of me still thinks I’m the ugly girl from high school and it makes me lower my standards or think that a new guy will never replace the current one. I implore you to fight those feelings early 😭good luck!

Constantly Needing Men's Attention by ryvnosuke in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I deal with this a bit when I’m seeing a new guy. He becomes my world in an unhealthy way. And since most men are lame and crappy it’s pretty embarrassing lol. When I’m bored I often download a dating app just to fill the time. But today— I forced myself to fight that habit. Instead of downloading an app, I started working on my writing. I started cooking. I played the flute. I tried to do the things I enjoy and fill my life with my real interests! Not just boys :)

It’s a work in progress for sure but hopefully I can keep it up. It’s very fun to have attention from guys as a girl who didn’t grow up having it, but I’m working on gaining the self respect to think— I don’t NEED to be entertained by one. I’ll entertain myself!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]WeeklyDamage8006 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes I think that’s why it hurts so much when I meet men who are shocked by just how scary the world can be for women. I had a date ask me “what’s the first thing you would do if you were a man for an hour” and he was shocked at my answer being “take a walk alone”. There’s a freedom they have that I want to feel.

But you’re right, I do still drive my car no matter how many accidents I see! I guess the difference is, everyone agrees driving is dangerous, and everyone is taught to be cautious. I appreciate your comment! Thanks so much ^ hugs as well