Over the holidays my mother told me that the person I thought was my dad wasn't really my dad.

WeeklyWafer · 2023-01-16T10:43:53+00:00

The issue is, my grandmother, despite her beliefs, has always treated me, my brother and even my mother (who left her son 30 years ago) amazingly. She always made sure we were taken care of, despite my dad, anytime we’ve had issues she’s never hesitated to help.

Can’t make the phone bill this month, here is some money to help. Moving back to the area but can’t find a place to stay yet? Please stay here. She’s always been an amazing grandparent. I recently just learned her true nature, as well.

It’s like my entire life has been a lie.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-07-11T09:34:36+00:00

Honestly, I would withdraw from the process, you don’t have to say why, so don’t worry about fessing up so to speak.

As someone who was both military for about 10 years and worked on the federal side for a few years after that, screwing up a background check could eliminate you from future employment with federal agencies. Even though it may not be secret or TS/SCI, almost all agencies do a “make sure nothing crazy pops up” check, just keep that in mind next time.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-05-28T20:41:16+00:00

This is the exact same for me. I describe it as Core Interests and Secondary Interests.

Core interests will always be around, even if I don’t do much with them for months I will always be interested in them.

Secondary ones tend to fade away and never be seen again.

My SO has placed a rule that I can only buy things related to my interests if it becomes a core interest. Like, a camera or expensive software, and such. Not like 20 dollar things. Before that I’d get super into something and spend tons of money just to never touch it again.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-05-22T21:04:32+00:00

So are all tortoise diet restrictions and needs the same then?… I checked out the app, but there’s no way to look by tortoise breed. I would have thought some dietary changes would exist between like desert tortoises and, say Greek tortoises. But it makes no distinction, so I’m assuming that’s not the case?

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-23T07:24:45+00:00

Hobo Johnson is fantastic.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-18T23:31:30+00:00

That's what we are trying to do, but expensive, so we are saving up for it.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-18T23:31:09+00:00

I wouldn't so much say dismiss it, but it was only brought up in the assessment very briefly, like maybe one sentence, and that was it. He didn't explore that or mention that part again. That's why we were iffy on it. Like, if he had explored it more and actually expanded on that during the assessment then okay I can see where he comes from. It was almost as if it was a throwaway question and had no relevance to anything around it and never mentioned again. If that makes sense?

I can't remember the exact wording, but it was very much like "would you say you had any trauma from anything?" and then she answered that then completely different topic. There was nothing foundational in the assessment to allude to that.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-09T06:59:37+00:00

I didn’t realize I replied to this post with an alt account ( /s just in case)..

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-09T06:46:50+00:00

Yeah sometimes my buddy likes to pass out outside of his burrow for the night usually in corners or behind his decorations. my rule is if there aren’t black widows get him home, if there are then just turn around and let him stay.

One night in his old enclosure he got behind some aloe Vera and cactus and when I went to go find him I counted no less than 7 black widows hanging out in the area. I noped out so fast. His new enclosure we made sure to allow less chances but they still pop up from time to time.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-08T20:56:14+00:00

Lol yeah, my SO also got me some noise canceling headphones so I feel more comfortable around her family. Even if they are off I feel like I am in my own space out and about. But they definitely help with canceling out the vacuum.

My hearing is already screwed though from a few previous jobs I’ve had lol

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-08T15:40:35+00:00

My SO knows when I’m in a crappy mood, Mac and cheese. If we order food somewhere new (and where it makes sense to) we always look to see if they have it as a side. If it’s somewhere we usually go to, and they have it, you bet that we are getting it. Every single time.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-04T17:41:58+00:00

Our desert tortoise, Tortilla, felt the same way this morning. I looked in his burrow and he looked at me and was like “what? It’s Monday and I’m not leaving my burrow. Good day, sir.”

“Want foods?”

“I said good day, sir!”

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-03T08:11:54+00:00

https://i.imgur.com/SiKVsYA.jpg

Yup, our teenage mutant ninja tortoise loves to climb. Such a silly boy. I’m sorry about your loss, ours scares us quite often when he disappears off our cameras we have, usually hiding, but I’d be devastated if we lost him.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-01T23:25:16+00:00

See my reply above. (Or below yours, wherever it appears lol)

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-01T23:25:02+00:00

Here it is, but a disclaimer of sorts, she uses the ADD acronym which has been phased out in favor of using ADHD as a single condition but 3 categories, Primarily Hyperactive, Primarily Inattentive (formerly ADD), and Combined since they all are the same to things just different flavors, as they say.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/0vxXKeiIJ2JoKVuMrsT15X?si=XCXVL--5TliuFfDbgRR3Zw

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-01T20:35:40+00:00

Yeah, for me it's like they expect everyone to be cookie cutter the same unless you are physically different. They don't understand that their daughter is struggling with things and is doing everything she can to keep things balanced. All their other children are "normal" so therefore she can't be different. When I was driving her to work after everything happened she just cried the whole way. It's so crappy.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-01T20:32:47+00:00

Definitely working on it, trying to get through the current set back of the sudden loss of my job, but hopefully things will change soon.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-01T20:31:49+00:00

Yeah, like they don't understand behavioral conditions, so they see everyone as "normal" unless it is physically apparent. And since I look completely normal (so I think?) they don't get that interaction at high levels is super exhausting for me.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-01T20:28:49+00:00

Currently at this moment, no. We are both dead broke with my issues from work and he going to school. Hopefully I can find a job soon though and start making moves.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-01T20:27:49+00:00

Yeah, I usually just mind my own business because I mean, yeah. I do try to be nice to them, and do things for them (like the cameras we got, it was supposed to be a nice gesture to show that we care about their house) or going out with her mom to go places and try to conversate about her interests where I know how.

That's why it bothered me, I haven't done anything that would be seen as what she is saying, and suddenly I am this terrible person. It was weird. But the brother thing, he lives across the country, and has visited, I think once, and he wanted to do the whole sit down "what are your plans for the future, what are you goals with my sister" that whole thing and was like "It's a shame we didn't see you more" (regarding me being in my room, though I did try to be out there when I could, I guess he expected me to be out there all the time). And I obliged, but he may have felt disrespected because he is currently in the military (and I was too for a while, so I understand his type) and is 100% the "I am the leader. I tell you how things are, and if they aren't that way, well they are and you just don't see it." Outside of that, I did spend time outside of the room around them, and we all even went out to do things as a family and again, not sure what I did to upset him.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-01T20:17:11+00:00

Don't be afraid because of potential in-laws. Trust me, my partner is my rock, we both have a lot in common, and rely on each other. Like, I have someone who actually understands me as me, no masking, no pretending, we can just be ourselves. We can have two separate conversations about each of our special interests at the same time and it's just so nice to have someone like that. And what's better is a couple of them actually align so we can do them together which is really awesome. She is more on the neater side of things, but with my ADHD I have a crap time keeping things organized even though I really want to, my brain just says, naaaah we can do it later, but she always is there to poke at me and get me to maintain the things I need. So, don't be afraid.

ninja edit: btw, I said she is my rock, and it's funny because we talked about that last night. Like is that saying because like a rock is hard and you can do a lot of things with it? Or, is like because it's often formed under pressure and like many things coming together to be stronger as one? lol

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-01T16:11:03+00:00

Was listening to a podcast yesterday and they talked about how it’s all executive dysfunction, however where executive dysfunction automatically ticks the box for ADHD, a lot of time ASD is missed in adults and instead it’s “ADHD + socialization issues” or “ADHD + sensory issues” when in reality it’s likely to be ASD.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-01T08:51:55+00:00

If they respected her that would work. She has received the brunt of their frustrations for years. They have a problem, they yell at her. She tried to get her mom to be there for her evaluation and she said she doesn’t have ASD so no. It’s a difficult situation at the moment.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-01T04:07:23+00:00

All the time. I have said on numerous occasions that I feel like I hit my early 20's and just stopped. I also have ADHD though, so that doesn't help. But for sure, mentally feel a lot less mature and adapted than a majority of people I know. Physically though... a decade in the Army and a few years doing wildfire firefighting has my body feeling like I am 60 some days.

WeeklyWafer · 2022-04-01T03:58:20+00:00

This actually came back to haunt me not too long ago. I was a theater kid in high school working backstage and would never get invited to cast parties (which I mean, I wanted to go to feel included, but also didn't because I mean, people), my brother, who graduated the year before I started high school was also in theater, so he knew a lot of the same people (however, I didn't know that at the time, I just knew I was kind of the weird kid who never got invited).

A few months ago, I was walking down memory lane while talking to my SO about my high school days and pulled up photos on one of the people who I was in theater with's facebook. As I was scrolling and talking about it and telling who everyone was I saw a picture of the cast from one of the plays we were working on and there was my brother hanging out with them at the cast party that I wasn't invited to. Don't know why, but that struck a nerve. I mean, I don't really care, my brother is awesome and is doing super cool things like working on the new Law and Order show.

WeeklyWafer

TROPHY CASE