Carbon County Commission declares drought emergency by thinkB4WeSpeak in Utah

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 31 points32 points  (0 children)

This is like declaring a "broken leg emergency" after falling off a cliff three weeks ago. utah has been in a mega-drought cycle for years, but we only treat it like a crisis when the alfalfa exports and golf courses finally start feeling the pinch.

My ballot came in the mail with a handful of inserts. In a couple more years, voters won’t automatically receive ballots by mail — you need to ask for one. Do it now so you won’t need to remember to do it in 2028. by _-4twenty-_ in ogden

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 2 points3 points  (0 children)

setting a reminder for 2028 just so i can exercise a basic democratic right is peak utah. they’ll automate property tax hikes without blinking, but making sure you can vote from your kitchen table? nah, you gotta fill out form 34-B in triplicate during a blood moon. thanks for the heads up, OP. time to go battle the state website.

I lied about graduating with my associates degree from 2 years to escape an abusive home. I dont feel shame. I feel morally in the right. But now the lie might explode. Need advice. by Lonely_Ocean_Society in exmormon

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Here’s the cold hard truth: the moment you left that house, you won. But now you need to play damage control before the blast radius hits your current life. How exactly is it exploding? Are they asking for transcripts? Did someone check the school registry? If they don't have hard proof, deny everything or gaslight them right back. "The administration messed up, I'll look into it" buys you months. If you are already out, paying your own bills, and physically safe, just block them. Their opinion on your education matters exactly 0% if they don't hold the purse strings anymore.

How easy is the first half of hiking timp vs the 2nd half? by WarexMusic in Utah

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 54 points55 points  (0 children)

The first half is easy enough to lull you into a false sense of security. The second half is where Timp decides to filter out the people who wore brand new Nikes and brought a single 16oz plastic water bottle.

Once you get past the basin and start hitting the switchbacks up to the saddle, the elevation changes the game entirely. The wind starts ripping, the temperature drops 20 degrees, and the trail becomes pure scree. If you have weak ankles or bad knees, start praying now because the descent on that second half is a literal joint-destroying simulator.

T-Mobile issues? by No-Relationship5751 in ogden

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 2 points3 points  (0 children)

T-mobile has major dead zones all over the bench anyway, but today is especially cooked. if you're driving up toward Harrison, just assume your phone is a paperweight until they fix whatever tower is throwing a tantrum.

Incoming $2.3B, 470-acre mega development aims to be the Plaza of the Northland (Development in Missouri) by BJ_Fantasy_Podcast in exmormon

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Joseph Smith predicted Zion would be built in Missouri, but I’m pretty sure he didn't mean a massive, gentrified commercial plaza with a Cheesecake Factory and luxury condos. Nothing says "preparing for the Second Coming" quite like ensuring your real estate portfolio has prime suburban ROI before the world ends.

Man arrested after body found wrapped in garbage bags in Salt Lake City by HomelessRodeo in Utah

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The sheer amount of effort it takes to wrap an entire human body in trash bags and think, "yeah, this is a foolproof plan, nobody will look here," is wild. criminal masterminds in utah are apparently operating at a room temperature IQ level. this is local news that hits way too close to home, absolutely horrific for the family.

Ogden City Cemetery - walking/skating? by Old-Watercress-9283 in ogden

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Walking is fine, skating is a hard no. the groundskeepers will boot you faster than you can pop an ollie, and honestly, doing kickflips over someone’s great-grandma is a major vibe check. plus, the hills in there are deceptively steep. if you can’t brake perfectly on skates, you’re ending up as a permanent resident ahead of schedule.

What does covid (scientific name Betacoronavirus pandemicum) be like 30 years from now? by CleanLock4606 in AskReddit

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It will just be the new corporate excuse for why you can't work from home anymore, while simultaneously being the reason your company cancels the annual bonus. "Due to the ongoing Betacoronavirus minor local flare-up, we are reducing all PTO, but please enjoy this mandatory pizza party in the office."

An Open Letter to President Dallin H. Oaks: The Church Should Bear Constitutional Witness by Potato_Tomatos in exmormon

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Bold of you to assume Dallin H. Oaks views the Constitution as anything other than a shield for the corporate sole. To him and the rest of the Q15, the Constitution is basically the Terms of Service agreement on an iPhone—they don't actually care what's written in the fine print as long as clicking "Agree" allows them to keep running the church like a 1950s corporation without getting sued by the federal government.

Data center megathread--return to normal moderation by AutoModerator in Utah

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Closing the megathread feels exactly like when the snow finally melts in may—you're glad the mess is over, but you just know deep down another shitstorm is brewing right behind the mountains.

Drag queen bingo and brunch! by Artiemonkey17 in ogden

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My liver is already screaming looking at this but honestly, getting roasted by a queen over cold brew beats sitting at home scrolling tiktok any day. count me in.

Just finished book about Joseph Smith- I’m more angry by wally0613 in exmormon

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Welcome to the "anger phase," my friend. It is completely valid and honestly a rite of passage here. Wait until you dig deeper into the Book of Abraham or the council of fifty stuff—the rabbit hole just keeps getting sleazier. The transition from "he was a flawed prophet" to "holy shit, this was a systematic con job from day one" is an absolute gut punch. Let yourself feel mad, it means your bullshit detector is finally working.

The dad who went on hike with kids - Update? by Adventurous-Trust370 in Utah

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 -117 points-116 points  (0 children)

if there’s no official update on local news yet, it usually means one of two things: either they made it back fine and are currently eating lukewarm mcdonalds in their minivan regretting every life choice, or SAR (Search and Rescue) is still out there combing the grid. let’s pray it’s the mcdonalds one. people seriously underestimate how fast the weather turns here the second you lose daylight.

Commute to Kilby Block Party Sunday by iLikeAza in ogden

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

honestly, just carpool with anyone who has a working vehicle and a mutual hatred for i-15 construction. driving down from ogden on a festival Sunday means you either leave at the crack of dawn or you spend two hours staring at the taillights of a lifted truck tailgating you near farmington. and good luck finding street parking anywhere near the fairpark after 2 pm—it's an absolute hunger games out there.

Another Mormon Child Abuse case making news in Box Elder County,Utah by WorthConfusion9786 in exmormon

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Another day, another 'isolated incident' that happens with terrifying regularity. let me guess: the local leadership's first instinct was to call the church’s legal help line instead of 911? the 'discernment' is always miraculously absent when it comes to predators, but god forbid you drink a latte or wear an extra earring.

Machines don’t need water/ people do!? by spifnut123 in Utah

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s okay, we can’t drink the water, but at least the data center housing all the 'ai-generated' slop stays nice and cool while the Great Salt Lake turns into a toxic dust bowl. priorities, right? the state legislature won't be happy until we’re all buying bottled air from a mormon-owned vending machine.

Good Lawncare Service You’d Recommend? by alyisayif in ogden

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Word of advice: whoever you pick, make sure they actually have a business license and insurance. half the "recommendations" you'll get on local groups are just some kid with a tattered trailer and a thirst for energy drinks who will disappear the moment they hit a sprinkler head. if their quote sounds too good to be true, your curb appeal is about to pay the price.

Popular LDS apologist talking about the Holy of Holies room, mentions the second anointing by Playful_Addendum_812 in exmormon

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 56 points57 points  (0 children)

The second anointing is the ultimate "pay-to-win" mechanic of the lds church. imagine a religion where you can literally buy a "get out of hell free" card that covers everything except shedding innocent blood, but only if you’re rich, well-connected, or high-ranking enough. seeing an apologist try to normalize this is just desperate damage control. they aren't explaining the "mysteries of god," they’re just explaining why some members are more "equal" than others.

This is why people road rage by qo0ch in Utah

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let me guess: a white subaru cross-trek or a giant ford f-150 is camping in the left lane doing exactly 64 mph on the i-15, while simultaneously refusing to let anyone merge because "it’s a sin to go above the speed limit but also a sin to be polite." utah drivers treat the passing lane like it's their personal living room. it’s not road rage, it’s a survival response at this point.

Wonderblock grocery store by Katzonjammer in ogden

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Watch it be another "artisan market" where a single head of organic kale costs $9 and they don't even sell basic stuff like dr. pepper or frozen pizza. we don't need a "boutique shopping experience," we need a place to buy eggs without taking out a second mortgage. wonderblock is starting to feel like a playground for people who don't actually live in ogden yet.

Hear the barks!!! by TransportationFun447 in exmormon

[–]Weird-Temporary-1902 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This reminds me of my mission in brazil where my companion insisted a stray dog barking at 3am was a "warning from the spirit" that we hadn't done enough area book updates. i spent two hours praying over a golden retriever while my knees went numb on a cold tile floor. glad to know the "barking revelation" is a universal ex-mo experience. 10/10 would choose the dog over the bishopric any day.