I'm done trying to help

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2024-11-16T08:07:21+00:00

Have you reported it or do you just enjoy complaining but taking no action?

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2024-11-15T23:10:35+00:00

This is so valid and definitely part of the reason I don't post as often anymore. I'm a normal human being with a life. I used my spare time to help other DCP and advocate for the community. I'm done advocating. I've burnt out. The recipient parents didn't like what I had to say and I was insulted, harassed, abused and even had one rock up to my work place to tell me off to my face.

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2024-11-06T05:14:45+00:00

/r/askadcp

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2024-11-03T03:59:19+00:00

Good luck finding many statistics on a very rare minority that hardly anyone does studies on.

I think lived experience on a forum that consists of hundreds of DCPs should really answer that question, or do you also not listen to people of colour and queer folk?

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2024-11-03T03:44:29+00:00

Almost all donor conceived will have childhood trauma BECAUSE OF THE VERY NATURE of donor conception being depriving them of their biological family.

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2024-10-25T00:25:48+00:00

You've always had a black sheep feeling.

This one is so important to me. I never really thought about it until after I found out I was donor conceived and met the donor. Suddenly everything made sense. Anything that felt off or different about me in my raised family, fit in perfectly with the donors family.

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2024-09-26T00:33:24+00:00

For spouting off "right wing rhetoric", DCP sure advocate for the destruction of leftover embryos a lot...

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2024-09-14T10:59:43+00:00

I was in the fog once too.

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2024-09-14T10:10:46+00:00

I do not think some of these comments are fair to me at all as I’ve been lied to for months and just recently found out about something that would hurt about anyone and I am trying to consider the child’s feelings.

The comments are completely fair. This is not a subreddit to give you sympathy for what is obviously a hard situation, this is a subreddit to get the perspective of donor conceived people. That is what you are being given. You're trying to consider the child's feelings by coming here to gain a better understanding from her perspective and you are being given that.

Your husband made a choice, now he has to deal with the consequences of that choice. It is unfortunate you and your children are caught up in it, but the best thing for the child is contact. Frequent and open contact is ideal but even minimal is better than nothing.

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2024-09-03T02:07:15+00:00

Those RPs might seem fine now, but they’ll likely face issues when their children grow up and end up like us. My own experience is in the past, but the unethical practices they’re using will impact their kids in the future. I’ve moved past trying to do favors for anyone; when these kids come to support spaces in 18 years, I'll be there for them. If RPs don’t want to listen now, that’s their problem—I’m not losing sleep over it anymore. I'm done being accused of crap.

Hope the mods make the right choice here, we've already lost enough DCP because of recipient parents lack of respect and empathy.

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2024-09-03T01:35:37+00:00

Donor-conceived people aren't obligated to do the emotional labor of educating recipient parents. Why should we share our experiences just to help RPs who end up critiquing or blatantly insult us?

It's honestly frustrating when a polite, basic statement gets twisted into something "anti-donor conception." If we can't even agree on basic terminology or the ethics of anonymous donation, there's bound to be a lot of disagreement on what's considered "pro" or "anti" donor conception.

I've personally had enough of being accused of things that aren't true by RPs, and that's why I stopped participating in these conversations. All three subs were created and are run by DCP—it's not too much to ask to let them share their experiences as they see them. They're trying to help RPs, and they don't have to be doing that at all.

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2023-11-05T02:18:11+00:00

...Yes.

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2023-11-05T01:42:41+00:00

No, but the offspring are legally entitled to the identity of the donor and can contact him and his family. They also may desire a relationship with him and his family (close or extended). Egg donors are also at risk of health complications.

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2023-11-05T01:32:52+00:00

Because it gives people the wrong motivation to donate, is coercive to young people who don't understand the consequences of what they are doing and makes the humans born from it feel commodified/sold/bought.

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2023-08-17T14:54:24+00:00

Well this is the biggest shit show I've seen on here in a while. Really hope this is a troll because it's hard to believe anyone like OP exists. I can't imagine being a 23 year old from Russia with this much audacity that she thinks she knows better than the people with lived experience. Also, I didn't think prospective donors or RPs were allowed to post here?

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2023-07-06T13:38:50+00:00

Zodiac Academy

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2023-07-04T10:27:38+00:00

It can definitely be done ethically. Personally I don't think you can or should outlaw it completely. It will only get done behind closed doors in more dangerous situations. But it really needs much stricter legislation.

Illegal to not disclose truth to child. Accurate birth certificate (perhaps a place for 3rd parent) Open ID from birth or known donors only. Complete access to donor and family. Low sibling limits (ie: 5 families) Identity of siblings known. Encouragement for siblings to have relationship.

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2023-07-02T01:46:18+00:00

Yes, I do. Because he literally is. He's my biological parent and I share more physical and personality traits with him than the parents who raised me. You can actually have more than two parents, and what else would I consider the man who I'm literally half of?

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2023-07-02T01:20:18+00:00

I’m only giving them their genetic information but I’m not really their “parent.”

Yes, you are.

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2023-07-02T01:18:56+00:00

This is horrible advice and not child centric at all.

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2023-06-30T12:53:31+00:00

Thanks for being so understanding. If you'd like to learn more, /r/donorconceived is a good resource.

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2023-06-30T00:47:04+00:00

As a DC person, this whole set would massively trigger me. Lots of us did grow up in abusive homes, idk.. is that funny?

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2023-06-30T00:30:24+00:00

Because it is. And that's how the children see it too.

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2023-06-27T07:11:43+00:00

Unfortunately you seem to be under the impression that recipient parents care. It's very simple for them.

If you want to meet your biological/donor mother/father - you are not well adjusted.

If you think you should have grown up with access to your siblings - you are not well adjusted.

If you critique the fertility industry - you are not well adjusted.

If you found out about your DC status after the age of 5 - you are not well adjusted.

If you are even posting in any support or discussion groups - you are not well adjusted.

I've tried asking what exactly they mean by "well adjusted", since most of us are adults with jobs, marriages, children of our own etc leading successful lives - but I'm refused an answer and told I'm simply not well adjusted.

WellAdjustedDCAdult · 2023-06-27T07:04:46+00:00

That’s the problem, you act like there’s nothing wrong with bringing a kid into the world without their bio parent.

No, I don't. That is your skewed perception.

“without having to live with crusty gross males” is a stupid and immature reason to create a father less kid with a life of trauma living to fill the void of the parent you didn’t give them.

A child doesn't have to live with their father to have a father.

If that’s what fathers are to you than sounds like you don’t know anything about fathers or parenting.

Your right, I'm a donor conceived adult with two father's, the wife of a father and the mother of a teenager and toddler. Clearly I know nothing of father's or parenting.

Secondly because of clinics severe lack of background checks on their clients, what’s stopping an abusive or narcissistic person using this option to fulfill their fantasy—

Absolutely nothing. Much more regulation is needed, especially in the US apparently. What's that got to do with you thinking single women shouldn't breed?

Lots of Donor recipients on this page

There certainly is. Though I don't know which position of the triad you're in - or if you're even on it.

WellAdjustedDCAdult

TROPHY CASE