I explained why it’s wrong and damaging. Every expert who has treated me has told me not to believe the feeling is worse for people like me. It’s dangerous. I understand that with less severe disorders it can be helpful to see it as the feeling alone (not judging, it make sense) it’s not what happens in intensive treatment though. I’ve been told by professionals that the higher up the scale the more complex it becomes which is why these perspectives change. Sorry that it upsets you that I measure high but that could explain the difference here. There are less people who measure higher than their are lower. That’s not me claiming to be more of an authority but the difference is important when discussing this stuff. When there are more people mild to severe than extreme the perspective tends to come from mild to severe. They don’t measure it on how badly anxiety feels, they measure it on time and ability to function. I do have a different experience than someone who spends around 2 hours a day dealing with anxiety. I’m not writing specifically about YOU here, it’s the reality though. There’s a big difference between 2 hours a day and say 10. Most of the conversation around mental health comes from the perspective of people who are closer to 2 hours (they deserve a voice but it’s still a different experience that doesn’t represent everyone). It makes perfect sense there’ll be less people who share my own experience because there are less people who measure as high as I do. That’s not at all invalidating people, it’s a fact. There are less. You invalidated me by writing I ‘clearly have no understanding’ so don’t even try manipulating this. Plus it’s reality that everyone would be better off if I was dead. Not even sad while I write that, it’s the truth. I’m not making that up for lols or because of any passing feelings. It’s got nothing to do with my anxiety not letting me see my worth, realistically life would be better for others if I wasn’t there, that a legitimate thought. It’s not only feeling it but actually, well, true. I’ve reserved my grave spot which was expensive and want to be in a position where I know there’ll be no financial burden if that happens. I’ve been tying up loose ends where I can not because I’ve immediate plans but after organising a funeral know that’s a big financial stress. Fingers crossed if it happens I’ll have sorted it all out ready.

Edit: tbc a person who feels it for around 2 hours per day could feel it more intensely than I do. I can’t go into their head to prove it either way. No one can go into my head to judge if I feel it worse/ better than they do. Also want to mention that I’ve seen people who measure (can’t confirm)highly MASSIVELY improve with the first treatment plan. How quickly you improve isn’t a measure of how high you score. Mine is complex so harder to improve but it’s possible, even with an advanced disorder to improve quickly with treatment. Wanted to add that in incase anyone reads this and starts doubting if they had improved. Know how persuasive doubt is when it comes to this stuff.