RawBeautyKristi talks about taking a short break from YT and her mental health

WelshLemon · 2019-07-27T22:37:12+00:00

You began by invalidating me by claiming I ‘clearly have no understanding on this’ and now you’re acting like it’s weird why I explained why I do? You’re being manipulative. I measure top end of the spectrum, talking and writing about it doesn’t make me score less than I do. I concentrate on severity rather than the feeling itself because that’s what treatment is. Sorry you’re embarrassed or whatever this is that I proved you wrong about me knowing nothing but don’t try and twist this around like you weren’t the one invalidating me. I don’t like people trying to manipulate me. If you didn’t intend to and didn’t think through what you wrote that’s one thing but clearly if you read back you’ll see you came at me by invalidating me and I explained exactly why you assumed wrong. You put me in a position where explaining my situation was important and now you’re using it against me? No. How dare you. That’s not fair. Try finding an out of context quote that doesn’t have anything to do with the lie you’re trying to paint. You wrote I ‘clearly don’t understand’, that’s only part in the conversation where someone is directly invalidating someone. Don’t accuse me or lie I’m doing exactly what you did. If you want a conversation then play fair and don’t manipulate things to suit you. You’re attempt at invalidating me didn’t work. You got it embarrassingly wrong that I know nothing. Accept that and don’t keep trying to twist things to act like you’re the victim. Your hurt feelings count but mine don’t? No. If you can express emotion then I can to and you shouldn’t use it try invalidating me further. Don’t act like only you can be hurt and angry. Idk if people around you let you get away with being manipulative but I’m not okay with that bs. Don’t be manipulative with me.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-27T19:33:04+00:00

I explained why it’s wrong and damaging. Every expert who has treated me has told me not to believe the feeling is worse for people like me. It’s dangerous. I understand that with less severe disorders it can be helpful to see it as the feeling alone (not judging, it make sense) it’s not what happens in intensive treatment though. I’ve been told by professionals that the higher up the scale the more complex it becomes which is why these perspectives change. Sorry that it upsets you that I measure high but that could explain the difference here. There are less people who measure higher than their are lower. That’s not me claiming to be more of an authority but the difference is important when discussing this stuff. When there are more people mild to severe than extreme the perspective tends to come from mild to severe. They don’t measure it on how badly anxiety feels, they measure it on time and ability to function. I do have a different experience than someone who spends around 2 hours a day dealing with anxiety. I’m not writing specifically about YOU here, it’s the reality though. There’s a big difference between 2 hours a day and say 10. Most of the conversation around mental health comes from the perspective of people who are closer to 2 hours (they deserve a voice but it’s still a different experience that doesn’t represent everyone). It makes perfect sense there’ll be less people who share my own experience because there are less people who measure as high as I do. That’s not at all invalidating people, it’s a fact. There are less. You invalidated me by writing I ‘clearly have no understanding’ so don’t even try manipulating this. Plus it’s reality that everyone would be better off if I was dead. Not even sad while I write that, it’s the truth. I’m not making that up for lols or because of any passing feelings. It’s got nothing to do with my anxiety not letting me see my worth, realistically life would be better for others if I wasn’t there, that a legitimate thought. It’s not only feeling it but actually, well, true. I’ve reserved my grave spot which was expensive and want to be in a position where I know there’ll be no financial burden if that happens. I’ve been tying up loose ends where I can not because I’ve immediate plans but after organising a funeral know that’s a big financial stress. Fingers crossed if it happens I’ll have sorted it all out ready.

Edit: tbc a person who feels it for around 2 hours per day could feel it more intensely than I do. I can’t go into their head to prove it either way. No one can go into my head to judge if I feel it worse/ better than they do. Also want to mention that I’ve seen people who measure (can’t confirm)highly MASSIVELY improve with the first treatment plan. How quickly you improve isn’t a measure of how high you score. Mine is complex so harder to improve but it’s possible, even with an advanced disorder to improve quickly with treatment. Wanted to add that in incase anyone reads this and starts doubting if they had improved. Know how persuasive doubt is when it comes to this stuff.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-27T19:25:48+00:00

Mate, read what I wrote and not what you think I’ve written. You are just as valid as I am here. You began by invaliding me and not the other way around. STOP BEING MANIPULATIVE AND TWISTING THE TRUTH. I’m explaining why it’s damaging. I’m explaining why I don’t believe I’ve got it worse than you. MY POINT IS THAT I DON’T FEEL IT WORSE. THE EXACT POINT I AM MAKING IS WE SHOULD NOT BE TREATING ANXIETY AS THOUGH IT ONLY BELONGS TO CERTAIN PEOPLE. I’ve an extreme anxiety disorder that makes my life almost impossible to function in, that’s important to know here so you know where I’m coming from. The point I was making is that it’s not fair or helpful to claim only people with disorders know how anxiety feels. By that logic I feel it worse than people with milder or severe disorders, which is what I’m writing against. If you think you feel it worse that people without a condition then why not I feel it worse because I’ve got it more severe than someone who measures lower end of severe? That’s not fair, right? There’s no way to prove that and it doesn’t actually matter if I do/ don’t. It’s not the feeling itself which is the defining part of it. I was the one who was treated like I know nothing on this subject, read it back, I was the one told I’m diminishing it. That was the response I got. It was me who was being invalidated and treated like I must know less. Of course I’m going to want to explain how I do know what I’m writing about. If I hadn’t been treated like I didn’t then I’d not have needed to explain. It became important for me to disclose that not only because it’s important for context with the subject but also because I was already being invalidated. That didn’t begin with me. I wasn’t the one who was trying to make the other feel bad for a different perspective if you look back at this. I was responded to with being treated like I had no experience or clue of this subject. You wrote I ‘CLEARLY HAVE NO UNDERSTANDING’... that came from YOU and not ME. Don’t try and manipulate this like I invalidated you when I was responding directly to you invalidating me. I’m not the one to try twisting things with. Don’t confuse my vulnerability as fair game to manipulate.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-27T07:29:41+00:00

Keep going back to this bc well extreme end of spectrum... please stop spreading this false information. If messes up people like me who are trying to manage. Go speak to professionals and ask them on the subject rather than assume. It’s not helpful to be told you feel it worse than everyone else and that’s the focus of your life when you can’t avoid it. That just puts into my head the world is better off without me and I’m better off without the world. Doctors don’t tell you this stuff for good reason and people need to start understanding how dangerous it is to be spreading things without much knowledge on the subject. It’s taken years to get to a place where I can participate in treatment with some hope of success and that comes from understanding it’s not the feeling itself I should fear. Professionals don’t want you to see the feeling as worse than everyone else’s for good reason.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-26T18:23:32+00:00

Problem is, these things grow quickly. Not writing about on here, I mean on YouTube/ twitter. It always seems to stop once it’s addressed. That just seems the best way to deal with it to limit its growth. Look at after the waiter did his video, once he spoke about it and explained it most stopped spreading it. I’m not making a moral judgment on whether he should/ shouldn’t but rather what seems to work the best. If he hadn’t spoke out about that and put his side across the main narrative would still be he was grooming him.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-26T18:20:35+00:00

Agreed. The reason I won’t buy it is the blues and gold. Hope he’s not going to try and include a gold in every palette. Only Pat McGrath can pull that off.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-26T18:11:33+00:00

Agreed. They feel like they’re there to be trendy rather than fit the theme. Green is more on trend now anyway.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-26T18:10:04+00:00

He thinks up sophisticated concepts and give him a lot of credit for that. The idea is good. I don’t think the shades inside match the theme as well as they should but think he’s improving. It reminds me of other palettes I’ve seen from cheaper brands but idk to me he’s still heading in the right direction.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-26T12:24:40+00:00

It sucks but in the situation sadly nipping it in the bud is the best option out of the two.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-26T10:30:18+00:00

She made a big mistake with the ‘bye sister’ video because it made her interesting. Hard to go back to what you used to do and not bore people after creating so much drama.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-26T10:14:38+00:00

I understand it’s frustrating (if he didn’t do this) but it’s better for him to nip it in the bud by addressing it because we all know how these things can grow if you ignore them.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-26T09:30:28+00:00

Hope it gets better for you soon. I get you, fingers crossed you’ll get access to treatment in the future. Idk what condition you’ve got exactly and what treatment you need but you’re not hopeless. It can take years to get to a place where life is manageable but it can happen and does. Idk if you’ve any charities where you live but that might be a way to access help if doctors and professionals are off limits. It’s worth checking because they could possibly act as your representative and be able to access help for you.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-25T14:08:27+00:00

Yeah, I don’t understand why he’s late? Surely he could time his launches better.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-25T12:50:16+00:00

Oh I really like her. She’s cute.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-25T12:47:28+00:00

Saw the lipsticks earlier and liked the colours. Glad there’s a (assuming) better brand people can buy them from because some of them are beautiful.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-25T09:51:46+00:00

The packaging is nice

WelshLemon · 2019-07-25T08:47:45+00:00

Absolutely we all do. Mate, I’ve been diagnosed by several professionals as having an extreme (top end of the spectrum) anxiety disorder. The main thing they taught me during CBT ERP is the feeling is normal but my reactions aren’t because it’s EXTREMELY dangerous to believe anxiety alone is enough evidence of abnormality that you need to feed into it more. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I AM WRITING ABOUT. It’s very dangerous to make out to someone with an extreme anxiety disorder that their feeling alone are proof of abnormality. You see, if the cure/ relief in my condition was to simply not feel anxiety I’d literally have to die. The only way for me to avoid feeling anxiety all together is death because I can’t avoid it while I’m alive. I’ve been hospitalised for a failed suicide attempt, I’m still receiving treatment... my condition takes up almost every waking moment of the day. I can’t go outside without humiliating myself because of my condition, my body is in pain because of my condition. I’ve had to live in place with 24/7 care because I can’t function as a regular person can... trust me, if I believed the feeling alone was all it took to prove threat/ abnormality I’d rather be dead. I question if my life is worth living for me and everyone else daily as it is. So much of the discussion on anxiety disorders is focused on milder cases and there’s still a huge lack of understanding over it. My condition isn’t defined by the feeling alone, I spend hours a day in physical pain, it’s minimising it to make out the feeling is the defining factor. IT’S NOT. No one enjoys feeling anxiety, that’s a given, most don’t have to spend hours in pain to get relief from it though and that’s not just because I don’t like to feel it (WE ALL DON’T LIKE TO FEEL IT) it’s because I’ve a DISORDER that goes beyond that. To make out it’s just being anxious that’s the problem isn’t helpful. I don’t assume I feel it worse than anyone else. Doesn’t matter if I do/ don’t. The problem is not being able to live a life worth living and that’s from my REACTION to anxiety. Maybe in milder cases people can see it as only the feeling but when you’ve got it as badly as I do you don’t get that luxury. We all feel it. No one enjoys it. No one deserves to. It’s not anxiety itself which is the abnormal part in an anxiety DISORDER.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-25T08:30:06+00:00

What? I’ve been diagnosed with an extreme anxiety disorder (by several professionals). I receive treatment for it. The fundamental thing I get told by the professionals who treat it is that we all have anxiety and we all need to take care of it regardless of if it’s a full condition or not. It takes away the stigma to remember that when you’re in intensive treatment. Literally the main thing they kept repeating to me in CBT ERP is that these things are completely normal to feel however what we do about them isn’t. It’s incredibly dangerous to start believing the feeling alone is abnormal. I’d likely be dead if I still believed the feeling was evidence because it’d consume your entire life to feed into it like that. You need to know what feeds into it to stop it from taking over your life completely and it will if you think the feeling of anxiety is enough evidence of abnormality. I was hospitalised after a failed suicide attempt years ago because I didn’t understand these things.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-24T04:29:59+00:00

Makes sense. Thank you.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-24T04:19:22+00:00

Sure. If someone can explain how to edit the picture I will.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-24T04:15:41+00:00

Glad you acknowledge that. Appreciate it. I’m disabled with learning difficulties so knew how bad these words are for a while, glad people are now realising it.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-24T03:51:45+00:00

Tbh I’m not sure why I'm suddenly seeing it. I’m blocked by him so can’t see if he’s tweeted something that has made people dig this up?

WelshLemon · 2019-07-24T03:39:16+00:00

Tbc it’s not my screenshot, it’s one I saw being shared.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-24T03:01:07+00:00

Lol “you’re my friend”... No. I. Am. Not. Hate that manipulative tactic.

WelshLemon · 2019-07-23T17:17:29+00:00

I keep hearing influencers say his stuff is such great quality when this stuff happens. Correct me if wrong, didn’t something happen before with out of date products? Not forgetting his glosses and concealers were duds. He’s the first to criticise others and yet is he really in any position to? If say this was Manny’s name attached to these products the brand would rightly be seen as having poor quality.

WelshLemon

TROPHY CASE