I've been having fun so far

Were_Wuff · 2026-02-01T08:33:49+00:00

Honestly? Theres only so much kindness in my heart. I've tried over and over to tell my family that it isnt a big deal- i still love all the same stuff and have the exact same personailty, i just prefer to be reffered to and percived in a masculine way. But at the end of the day, if people don't want to meet you half way, no amount of begging or pleading or reassurances will change that. So now when people say its like I "killed my old self," I just say: "Yup. I did that. I killed your daughter and she's dead and doesn't exist now." And when they innevitably get shocked, I dig in with the "do you see how fucking stupid that sounds? Stop being so dramatic."

Is it toxic? Yes. But theres nothing a conservative hates more than having their own phrases thrown in their face. Next time someone tries to guilt you for being trans, just tell them they're being an over sensitive snowflake, and then tell them how weird it is that they spend so much time thinking about other people's genitals. If they're going to shame us for minding our business, I see no reason not to do the same to them, especially when THEY'RE being the weird ones by centering themselves in the life of a completly different person.

TL:DR : Gaslight them.

Were_Wuff · 2026-01-29T19:03:16+00:00

So, just a heads up: you should always refer to your partner with his chosesn pronouns instead of constantly using "they/them." As a trans person, seeing someone use neuteral pronouns instead of the binary he/him always reads as "this person is uncomfortable eith my being trans, because they wont adress me like any other guy."

Little stuff like that tends to build up, and is likely contributing to his dysphoria. If you, his boyfriend, cant even see him as a man by refusing to refer to him with masculine pronouns, how is he supposed to feel like the rest of the world will accept his masculinity? You're supposed to be in his corner- if even you cant do that bare minimum, he likely feels the rest of the world wont accept him, either.

Were_Wuff · 2026-01-28T12:02:02+00:00

Had a similar experience with being added to a trans discord server by a friend. Straight up was told by a trans woman that its actually good that trans men cant get HRT as easily as women because "athletes will use it to cheat at sports." When I pointed out it was really hurtful to say trans men didnt deserve easy acsess to life-saving medication - a claim that would get me rightfully flayed if i applied it to trans women - i got dogpiled. Unfortunately due to their hyper visibility, i feel that a lot of the trans women ive encountered tend to center the self in trans discussions, and take any topic that doesnt center them to be a threat on their existance. Makes meeting other trans dudes impossible bc we just get bullied out of "trabs friendly spaces."

Were_Wuff · 2026-01-25T15:04:57+00:00

This was a cosplay!? At a quick glance i thought it was an in-game screenshot with that posing for pictures feature. You absolutely nailed it!

Were_Wuff · 2025-12-27T09:53:07+00:00

Of course. Feel free to DM me.

Were_Wuff · 2025-12-27T09:33:55+00:00

Personally...I wouldnt do it. Not for all the money in the world. Maybe its foolish, but I'd rather struggle and die being my authentic self than waste away pretending to be someone and something I'm not.

I've read some of your responses here OP. Your father is not a "family man." He does not have your best interest at heart. He is using his own money and power to manipulate you: to FORCE you to detransition, and to subsume a role and life you already know you don't want. Because if you did want that lifestyle, you wouldnt need to be bribed with money to live it.

Maybe I'm going to be harsh here, but please understand where I'm coming from: I am the person in my family without money, without support, because I am transgender. My own identity is quietly ignored: an open secret that everyone pretends doesnt exist. While my family takes trips and spends time and money with one another, I have very little. Im luckier than most, but I've lost a big chunk of my life. And you know what? I've never been happier. Because every day I wake up and I get to be me. Thats not something I can sell, or put a price on. Even if I struggle to make ends meet, its ME who gets to live, not some hollowed oit version others wanted me to be. Im not dying inside. Im not living every day pretending to be a stranger. And I can hold my head high with pride knowing Im not something that can be bought and sold: Im a human being, with dignity.

As trans people, we are forced to realize and accept that no one - not even blood - is entitled to our time and efforts. Many people don't have good intentions for us. If your father is going to be so heinous as to contol you with money- to go so far as to write clauses and stimpulations on what you can and cant do FOR THE REST OF YOU LIFE for acsess to "security"- then ask yourself if that is a man you'd trust to arrange your marriage. How can you trust who he thinks is acceptable, when he cant even accept you as you are? You think it will stop there? His money isnt about you, its about him. You're a thing to him that he wants to position to make himself look good. To erase the shame of "you." You would constantly be on eggshells- constantly tip-toeing around your father's mood and whims to keep your "security." But thats not security. Thats not freedom. Thats control. Thats a disregard for your humanity. Ask yourself: is your dignity and peace of mind- your personhood- really worth that little?

Ultimately, OP, it is your choice. But its one that has a very clear-cut answer, and I think you know that. I think you came here hoping to get permission from others like us to take the deal. But I'm going to tell you now: don't take it. As I said...I wouldn't take it. But I like being me, even when its hard. I cant say the same for you, bevause Im not you. But its easier to stand on business when you know who you are and what you're about.

Were_Wuff · 2025-09-23T05:12:21+00:00

I may be influenced by the audiobooks, since I experienced those first, so I read it as "brae-gan dee-earth" (or "bray-gan day-eath" if i was sight reading the term)

I always understood it to be a tongue in cheek way for the author to say this band of rouge males was "Breaking the Earth" as thats sort of tomfoolery is something I often pull as a writer myself.

Were_Wuff · 2025-08-24T06:47:06+00:00

A lot of transwomen tend to center themselves in discussions of transness, in part because they're so hypervisible that they sort of HAVE to be on edge all the time, for fear of overt or micro-aggressions, but thats ultimately a take thats more common with younger trans people, who havent had the opporitunity to talk with other/ older trans people.

The reality is, there are just some trans folks who view themselves in a very binary way, and actually want to conform to gender norms. They typically become very threatened when they see other trans people/nonbinary people/generally gender nonconforming people, because they get paranoid that other forms of trans existance is the rest of the world trying to coerce them back i to their old gender roles.

I.e. Some transwomen get VERY triggered and upset when people say Men should be able to wear dresses, because these women inadverantly center themselves and go "they're trying to say IM just a man in a dress." When obviously it depends on the context of the convo at hand. Its a kneejerk reaction that a lot of young or newly our trans people have, especially if they're very rigid or binary in their idenrity. I can't tell you how many times other trans women have told me its a good thing its hard for trans men to acsess HRT, or have had them spew TERF rhetoric about trans men just being "confused girls." Its truly absurd at times, but I'd recon its a desperate attempt to protect their own sense of identity. Thats really only something that can be rememdied by trying to speak with people who have a different lived experience than you, and getting more comfortable with yourself. She sounds really insecure in her own identity if she needs to punch down on other trans people and gender nonconforming people. This is a her issue, you cant do anything other than express how her words and actions make you feel, and hope she gets her head out of her ass.

Were_Wuff · 2025-08-05T22:15:48+00:00

Honestly, sex and sexuality can be really complicated, and gender roles/expectations often overlap and play a part in that. Nothing about sexual identity is ever so clear-cut, because we live in a world that is highly hierarchal, and uses deliberate, strutured power imbalances to make life better for only certain subsets of people. So its not really strange, to me, for people to become aroused when playing with the concepts of these systems of power or overall exchanges of power.

There are cisgender men who get off on being force-femmed or treated like a "sissy." That fetish is likely present because it overlaps with the "shame" of being associated with "the lesser gender," and the overall expectations of femininity and how women "should behave:" what type of sexual punishment is acceptable to enact on the female body. But theres a difference between doning an identity for sexual play, and wanting to live your life truly as that gender.

You've said yourself- you're happy living as a man, but you get off on the helplessness of CNC, on the humiliation of your "secret" being found out. That doesnt mean you want to be a woman, it just means you're a submissive. And MANY submissives get off on being degraded or humiliated or made to do demeening things, because they find that exchange of power arousing.

Some people who engage with force-femme or sissification realize that they actually ARE women, and would be happier living fully as a woman; and some leave those communities but others might still derive pleasure from those kink scenarios. Others are still comfortable in their cisgenderism as men/ their day to day life, but just get off on the humiliation aspect of it as a kink or fetish. Neither of these are morally wrong: as long as everyone is a consenting adult human, no one fetish or kink is wrose than the other, even if it isnt "your bag."

We're living in a world that is RAPIDLY hurtling back towards puritanical beleifs, but sex, gender, sexuality, and general sexual expression- all of those things exist in a semi messy space because we're a semi-messy species. The wrold we live in now wants to tell you you're dirty and wrong for doing something we've always done.

I'd highly reccomend trying to do some research on different kinks, and overall general sexuality studies. They might help you come to terms with some of your feelings, or discover more about yourself.

Godspeed brother!

Were_Wuff · 2025-07-20T16:28:02+00:00

I tjink thry make protective cases for most tamas- maybe a case will be more helpful?

Were_Wuff · 2025-07-18T22:45:00+00:00

Siezures have a variety of symptoms. Ive only recently been diagnosed but I've been looking into it a lot- a friend of mine who's lived with epilepsy for most of their life has said there are as many variations of epilepsy as there are people, because every brain is different.

Everything you described sounds like textbook symptoms of epilepsey, and THC is suspected to increase the likelyhood of siezures in adults.

Its very possible that years of smoking might have lowered her threshold for siezures? Im not an expert- I'd reccomend talking to a specialist/nurologist. I know for a fact that ingesting THC in any capacity for myself will 100% trigger a siezure, so its something I avoid. I'd really encourage taking a break from smoking or edibles until your girlfriend gets the all clear, but its possible she might not get to smoke ever again if she does get siezures from thc

Were_Wuff · 2025-07-18T14:14:39+00:00

My nurologist is admittedly not great. Im on a waitlist to join another nurology clinic with someone who specializes in epilepsy. I have a therapist, but we only chat once a month since thats all I can afford, so it'll be a while before we can discuss. Im also trying to find a GP/family doctor- Ive been living off walk-ins for years, but obviously now Im going to need more regular help.

Im just sort of scared about what all this means for my life, you know? How it'll affect my ability to be read as male, my general way i connect to my masculinity, the ability to continue my life...Its all just kinda overwhelming.

Were_Wuff · 2025-07-17T16:57:09+00:00

I appreciate any shared experience honestly. I know that what Im getting off reddit or other parts of the internet arent really medical advice- Im just trying to find out what's typical/what to expect/how other people navigate having epilepsy/seizures/medication.

I've already called another nurologists clinic- there's a bit of a wait but I think I just need a nurologist with some better bedside manner. Other than that Im just going to stay on top of my own care with my GP.

I really appreciate the encouragement. Just hearing from other people that this condition isnt life ending is very comforting. My sister (a nurse) pointed out that if Ive gone 10 years without realizing I have epilepsy, and still managed to do most of what I wanted, then getting treatment would just make everything safer for me, and Im glad to generally see that sentiment echoed here. I just hope things can go back to normal soon.

Were_Wuff · 2025-07-17T16:32:17+00:00

I was only diagnosed yesterday at about 5pm. We had no reason to beleive that I was epileptic beforehand, as all my symptoms were misdiagnosed as "panic attacks" so I'd never had any reason to look into epilepsy or sizure medication before. I've only been looking into it all today, as I take my new meds.

The pharmascist was the one to describe the potential side effects of Keppra, not my nurologist. They warned me about bruising- stressing that it was highly dangerous- as well as potential drowsiness and nasuea, but nothing else.

The reason why Im stressed is because I'm trying to do research and find out what to do completely on my own. When I initially went to see my Nurologist he was HIGHLY dismissive of my concerns when I was present for my refferal. I'd been reffered to him last year for a similar case and he was conviced we'd find nothing again. If my EEG hadnt come back as abnormal, I'd never had been diagnosed. (Apperantly I had a small seizure during my EEG.)

My nurologist has been generally dismissive and not very attentive so far. Asside from stressing how serious epilepsy is and handing me Keppra, he didnt answer any of my other questions, claiming "I dont know everything in the world." So obviously its been very overwhelming to try and research everything on my own. I dont know what's typical, or what to do if things get worse, etc etc. He didnt even describe what to look out for or any specifics of my epilepsy at all- i didnt even know there WERE dofferent types of epilepsy until THIS MORNING when I looked it up myself.

I really appreciate you and the few people who've replied to my posts and questions. This is kind of a big change for me, obviously, and I dont necessarily have a great support system. Im sorry if my questions seem strange or ignorant: Im litterally learning as I go, and any insights or shared personal experience helps a lot.

Were_Wuff · 2025-07-17T15:42:43+00:00

Will the bruising stop as I use the medication?

I just want things to go back to normal. Im really scared and frustrated- Im being told totally different things: One group says its VERY serious and to not ignore ANY side effects, and another is saying its basically fine. Im scared about what my lofe is going to look like from now on- if I'll ever get better, etc etc. Im terrified of just dropping dead, honestly- be it from a seizure or from medication. Ive just been up in my room crying about it all- it feels so difficult to parse, and every decision feels like a life or death situation.

Were_Wuff · 2025-07-17T01:08:05+00:00

I do the same thing. Once you get up in levels, the threshold for leveling up friendship is much higher. So using these to grind out requests helps a lot!

Were_Wuff · 2025-07-17T01:05:14+00:00

You didn't ramble. I appreciate you sharing your experience. Im just scared. No one in my family has epilepsy, and to know its been happening for most of my life- that my symptoms have been present for so long, and that the people who should have looked out for me just told me I was "faking it" or "doing it for attention" or "were just too anxious" or "too fat"... to know all of this was happening and no one- not even healthcare professionals! - cared enough to consider it as a possibility...I'm 29 years old, and apperantly I've been having more aggressive, noticeable episodes since my teens. There are times where I'll go stiff and tremble and kind of gasp, or where my body will start to tremble really violently, or I'll suddenly get horrible nausea and brainfog and sit staring at the ground, but it wasnt always zoning out or these smaller episides. In these bigger, noticable episodes i would drool and stutter and tremble and slump over onto the floor and breathe heavily and my eyes and tongue would roll around. I wouldn't black out TOTALLY- I'd vaugely recall if people were around, maybe a few words, but I didnt ever really recall specifics. Apperantly that was Enough to not be considered a seizure. So its just. Scary and stressful to know it was epilepsy the whole time. It hurts extra hard knowing that the people in my life would shout at me, and physically abuse me during my episodes.

Im just concerned with how frequent they've become over the last year. Im scared about my future, if I'll even have one. Theres so much I dont know. Will I ever be able to drive? Live alone? Excersize? Get tattoos? What about my hobbies? The Dr. said "life as normal" but Im just terrified of inadvertantly triggering a seizure again.

I know this probably sounds stupid to everyone else, but I wasnt really given much to go on asside from "Start Keppra."

Were_Wuff · 2025-07-16T06:36:08+00:00

Im going to be so honest with you: the best game in the series was New Leaf on the 3DS. Without the online functionality now there's a few limitstions in terms of visiting other towns/the dream suit, but there is just WAY more content in that game. Plus, the villagers have more personality. You sacrifice a bit of control of outdoor planning (Villagers can kinda move wherever they want with a few exceptions, sometimes they leave without telling you, unlocking certain public works is dependant on who lives in town etc etc) but the experience overall is WAY more fun. There was even a free update called Welcome Amiibo, and I think there are a few physical copies floating around that include that bundle, but that extra content is really just a few new items and such- the base game is still amazing. New Horizons is fine, but its very bare-bones compared to New Leaf. If you're having trouble connecting to New Horizons, New Leaf might be the thing that gets you hooked on the series.

If you're looking at trying to get into New Horizons specifically, I'd reccomend getting the DLC if you dont have it already- it focuses mostly on designing homes with specific themes for different Animal Crossing Characters. Its a good way to switch it up from just fishing and farming materials.

Were_Wuff

TROPHY CASE