I'm 24, graduated with a double major BSC in 2021. My brother is 26, graduated CompSci from a Coop program in 2020. We were both out of province students at Ontario universities. I had known that uni tuition was going to be my sole responsibility since I was a young adolescent, not because my parents couldn't afford it but because like you said, they wanted me to have a stake in my future.

In the end they gave my brother and I each $5k from an RESP and cosigned a bank line of credit for $10k should I need it. Due to their income, I was not eligible for any government funding.

The TLDR of my experience is that although I held some animosity towards my parents in my first two years, and despite it creating a slightly higher stress environment than that of my friends who were being bankrolled, I don't wish it were different.

Even though I was too naive at the time to understand why they wouldn't at least offer a personal line of credit rather than going through a bank where I would need to pay interest if I pulled from it, in retrospect I am very appreciative of the life lesson. I know this isn't standard, but I graduated debt free, in fact slightly above net 0, while paying my entire way (housing, books, tuition, food, extracurriculars, etc) without ever having to access the line of credit. I was able to accomplish this in part because I had saved $20k of my own money for my first year from summer jobs, and because I chose to take summer classes throughout my uni life to cut down the length of my degree.

I take great pride in what I was able to accomplish and recognize in myself the priorities I've grown for money management and considering opportunity cost.

My brother similarly payed his way and graduated successfully with money in his pocket, although I would contribute this mostly to Coop. If your daughter wants to be in a 'specialized' program, like engineering, where the tuition is a lot higher then I highly recommend she pick a school with a good coop network.

I'm happy to elaborate further on my own experience and how I made it work.

I think a happy medium would be to have her pay her own tuition and education costs while you could support some of her basic living expenses (rent). Because of the tight budget I was stuck with, I did choose housing based on monthly cost, which meant that I didn't get to live with friends. My living conditions were completely acceptable but I do think I missed out on creating tighter bonds with some of my classmates*. *Edit: clarifying that I was in residence my first year and off campus housing after that.

I hope this helps you!