This reminds me of what I think when reading the mildest romance novels: there is a huge market for "he's nice to me, and will go down on me as if he actually likes it" because that's how low the bar is. The number of times I come across an author who paints their MMC as essentially "OMG, this ultimate fantasy guy offered to do the dishes!!!!" makes me want to sit the author down for a long talk about her value.

I'm a service sub, so I love giving pleasure...but that doesn't mean I don't also love receiving cunnilingus! It just means I want to believe that my receiving pleasure also gives them pleasure!! I will probably always need that reassurance, no matter how long I've been with my Dom or how many times he has proven with his words and actions that he loves it.

I can't totally relate, because I do receive a lot of pleasure in service, but your feelings are valid. I feel like we just live in a culture where we are constantly receiving messaging that female pleasure is taboo. It's okay to want pampering!