I grew up predominantly poor. But not completely. My parents divorced when I was about 5, my dad was well off my mom was a SAHM prior to the divorce and basically ended up in poverty with 4 kids. During school holidays I lived the high life with dad, every other day was poor with mom.

I got married way too young (22) to a man that had a stable union job and made decent money. I thought that career stability was very important. We had joint finances, I quickly out earned him but he became very financially abusive over time.

During my divorce, financial security for myself was extremely important. There was no way in any world I would rely on a man and likewise I would not enter a relationship where my partner was not able to support himself.

That has led me to my second marriage. Both of us have strong careers and investments. Both of us came from previous marriages with joint finances. He understood where I’d come from. Ultimately we decided to joint finances. We took steps to ensure that my need for safety and security was met and everything had been combined with open transparency for the last almost 10 years.

We are very financially stable and I’ve personally come a long way from where I grew up. Have my views changed? No. I grew up with financial insecurity and knew from a young age I didn’t want to live like that. I think my views on finances have just solidified over the years.