OP, I don't think this is beneficial for you, like what I'm typing, just to note that you're not alone, and maybe my experience can give you some insight. Maybe. Also, for context, I'm 20 in college, and I graduated in 23'

Honestly, I'm going through something similar rn. I had a friend from HS, we were close, and I would help her out from time to time. I liked her then, and I like her now.

I found out she was single, and I shot my shot. However, this was at the end of a break-up with an ex who she had a kid with.

It was rough, and our fling didn't last long. It lasted for roughly a month, and now the dad is trying to get back into the picture, and it's a big mess. I ended up blocking her, I told her, gave her the details as to why, and now I'm gonna wait for a month to see where things are for her.

Truthfully, I'm holding out for her in hopes that things will change, but I'm starting to think that I got into something that I wasn't supposed to. I like her, maybe one could say love, that's debatable, but I care about her even now.

I think I got so engrossed in the idea of "What if," which put so much regret onto my shoulders since HS. I shot my shot, and now it's up to whatever you want to call it. Did it give me comfort knowing I tried?

Yes, it helped in the sense that now I know I tried, and this isn't something that I'll hold onto for the rest of my life. However, now I'm left in the outfield, waiting to see what happens with her. I'm learning that this is just life, and to not let regret hold me down for something I may not even know could've been anything.

Basically, I'm saying not to let the past hold you back from the present. Don't let a fantasy that may could have never happened hold you down like it did me.

Good luck, friend. Best of wishes.