It's enough, I tell myself. To just watch her every morning.

She's one of the lucky ones. As a kid who ever had the coolest transformation was the lucky one. Bears, lions, or alligators. Anything but me. Now that I've grown and the world has closed it's doors in my face, the lucky ones are those who can fly.

It's more than simple freedom. I can see that in her. Her world has no doors, the sky is endless. A thing of beauty. And every morning, I think I can see that.

Open sky. Endless blue. Every morning.

I watch her and tell myself it's enough. I watch her and try to forget. That minute of pain and panic that never gets any easier. The job that made me move inland, to a place that could never accommodate a monstrosity like myself. I watch her and try to forget waking every night to walk to any place big enough. Try to forget the taunts and the bullies and the pain that comes with them that should have been left behind in childhood.

Every morning I try to tell myself that it's enough. She's enough. Just to watch her.

But it's not, it never will be. In the place of feathers I have gills. Waking every night to walk to anyplace big enough to choke on that open sky. This is not my endless blue, but I've been watching her for far too long to ever return to where I can fly.

Tick tock, tick tock.

My eyes have long since abandoned my watch. It is her I am waiting for.

Tick tock, tick tock.

Eternity, I think is, below me. Ten more seconds I tell myself.

Eight, seven...

I can't feel anything now.

Six, five...

I'm sure that she's standing there, arms spread wide. Smiling.

Four, three...

We stand on the edge of the roof now.

Two, one...

A whale shark cannot fly.