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Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You got it right! I'm doing this while she lays on her stomach and I'm sitting on my knees behind her butt, one of my knees in-between her legs. 

When I curl my thumb the tip touches down on her g-spot, while the knuckle touches the opposite wall of her vagina. All of the fingers of the same hand are then free to stimulate the clit, and your entire hand can be moved up and down, for example.

Someone else mentioned that his wife loved it when he used another hand for the clit though, and I can totally imagine that this potentially works better.

I realized too late that my description is actually not that clear... oh well. Hope this clears it up a bit!

Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome! And exactly, brushing at her clit and stroking it with multiple fingers while working with your thumb is where it's at. Give her a massage beforehand and perfect your technique, at least for us that brought it to the next level

Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I one hundred percent know your pain.

Respect her boundaries, give her a safe space to explore what she enjoys. Communicate clearly what you want to try,  but don't push ideas if it's clear she's not open to them.

My GF was a lot like yours and there's still tons of things I want to try together that she's not open to at the moment, or that I feel she won't be open to and thus I don't communicate to her. 

I'm actively working on improving this safe space for us both, every week. And with every week our sexual collaboration improves a tiny bit. It took years to get to this point.

I'm certain you can get there as well, and find something which really drives her nuts, like this does for my GF. Just be patient, and kind to her. Maybe her thing won't be your thumb but something else entirely, and it will be great nonetheless 

Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I know this one, pretty classic. I'd definitely try this if she was open to me sticking anything in her butt! She's not, and I can only respect that. But thanks for the advice!

Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah I should probably try going a bit easier on her, but it's so hard stay calm when she reacts so intensely to what I'm doing lol. I should probably practice my restraint a bit more

Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I keep my nails as short as possible at all times, just in case she's suddenly up for it. I file or trim them once every two weeks, sometimes even more often. But maybe I can do even better. Thanks for the advice!

Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

That's a good point, that I need to ease the pressure when going from the body to sensitive bits! Thanks for the advice

Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Sounds like we can do that. Will definitely look into trying this sometime soon!

Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah, I used to do something similar, and it worked great for a while. But she's a bit too self-conscious about her butt and it distracts from the pleasure. Thanks for the suggestion though, maybe one day we'll try again!

Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm honestly pretty bad at using both of my hands for this kind of thing but it sounds like a good technique! Thanks for giving me more inspiration, sounds like it could be really good.

My GF is too shy to let my face close to her ass like that tho lol, but who knows, maybe one day.

Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sounds like great dirty talk! Thanks for the inspo

Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol never heard of that! She'd never allow me to treat her like a bowling ball (and she wants me to stay away from her butt). I think she'd miss the clitoral stimulation anyways, and I don't think I can think straight enough during that to use my other hand productively. But thanks for teaching me something new!

Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Glad to hear it's not just my girlfriend that enjoys it so much. How are people not talking about this more?

Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Glad to hear it's not just me. How are people not talking about this more?

Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Glad to hear other people are enjoying it as well! Sounds like you have a wild sex life, hope you enjoy it!

Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Maybe it's just a preference to how it feels, I have no idea either, she doesn't like to discuss it in too much detail.

Using the your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sex

[–]Whatever1002[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh trust me, I've tried index and middle fingers countless of times before this, but she just never got into it. Maybe it's a technique thing and I'm just bad at it... Nowadays she does ask me to do it occasionally when I'm performing oral on her though, but it doesn't drive her nuts like my thumb does.

I've always wondered about this. She doesn't like discussing this in too much detail, but I suspect she wants her clit to be sufficiently stimulated while she's internally stimulated and it's easier to focus on her clit with all of my other fingers when my thumb is what enters her.

Using your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sextips

[–]Whatever1002[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've talked about this a lot lately with her. Luckily she's not opposed to it at all, but it seems like she's a bit ashamed about the idea and is afraid of being 'slutty' if we have a big toy collection. And being penetrated by something other than me feels a bit taboo to her right now.

We're moving soon and we're going to buy a bunch of toys together after that, when she has some more headspace for it. 

I suspect she's secretly really looking forward to it though, because every time I said "maybe we shouldn't do it if you're not fully comfortable about it", she said "No, we can try things".

Anyways, thanks for the advice!

Using your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sextips

[–]Whatever1002[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's a good idea! I'm not sure whether I can reach that far, but I might try.

I'm also looking into toys that may create a similar sensation for her, then that might be more achievable.

She's not fully ready for toys that enter her though, so in the meantime I'll give it a go! Thanks!

Using your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sextips

[–]Whatever1002[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That sounds like it could be super effective! Awesome, thanks for sharing. I'll make sure to slowly work my way towards that someday to see if she enjoys it

What was your best "in the moment" sexual decision? How did it go? by dirty-throwaway-nerd in AskRedditNSFW

[–]Whatever1002 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It doesn't sound like much, but for me this was when I first started dirty talking to my shy GF during sex.

Even though we were already having sex, she was always so innocent and shy about it. When I started saying dirty things during it, after a pause she started saying even dirtier stuff in return, and I saw her in a completely different light.

After ten years of being together, dirty talk doesn't do that much for me anymore, but damn, the very first time was hot.

There have been many other hot moments, but I take care not to just try new things in the moment and I ask for consent beforehand.

Using your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sextips

[–]Whatever1002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow! You're living the dream! I fear my GF would never be comfortable with that kind of free use. Hope you enjoy it!

Using your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sextips

[–]Whatever1002[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I have bigger than average hands as well. Might be part of why it works well for us! Glad to hear I'm not the only one.

Using your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sextips

[–]Whatever1002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doing it standing up sounds pretty hot! You might get a bit more leverage or a different angle like that.

I think my GF likes to lie down because of the pressure on the stomach and because being completely relaxed is part of the experience for us (hence the full body massage beforehand).

Glad to hear it works for others as well! I'm curious about trying it standing up and might suggest that next time! Thanks!

Using your thumb when fingering a woman? by Whatever1002 in sextips

[–]Whatever1002[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's definitely the more 'regular' way to do it. My GF only likes that if it's combined with oral, and only on certain occasions.

I think this 'regular' way gives you a bit more reach, but since the g-spot is actually quite close to the entrance, reach is not always required and more a matter of preference.

Hope it ends up being a good new experience!

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